Sunday, August 12, 2012

Report From the War Room

The news reached Southern Charm on Thursday that Her Serene Majesty Mialinn, Queen of Second Norway, had declared war on the Much Honored Bock McMillan, laird of Southern Charm and prince of Cascade Falls.

Ever since the MIA (McMillan Intelligence Agency) had filed their report with the Minister of Defense Hedda Millar she had been belligerent and swearing even more than usual. Some of the extremely cute men of the sim walked around with a permanent blush and seemed very flustered after meting with her.

Hedda of course followed procedure and called all the high-and-mighty of Southern Charm to an immediate meeting in the war room, located ten kilometers below the welcoming and beautiful surface of the sim. Such meetings are mandatory when the safety of the laird or the sim are threatened. 

All of the powers-that-be of the McMillan house hold had been locked up down there since Thursday, with no news of what was going on leaking to the restless and anxious hoi polloi nobilty and commoners up on the surface. However, the meeting is now over and we are being reached with several accounts of what has been happening.

The laird himself had seemed calm and in a good mood despite the urgency of the meeting. 

The hawks at the meeting are rumored to have been Hedda Millar (naturally), her aide-the-camp Minerva Xenno and the identical twins Admiral Duncan Aycliffe, Chief of the Southern Charm Naval Forces and Coast Guard, and Field Marshall Angus Maldor, Chief of the Army and Royal Air Force.

The doves are said to have been represented by Prime Minister Wild Zepp, The Ambassador to the Court of Saint James Callum Beamish, the Foreign Minister Seamus Lycheborne and General Matt Gaboian, Chief of the Marine Corps.

Seemingly Hedda Millar started the meeting with a plea to the laird, this is the only word-for-word account that has reached us as yet (civil translation in brackets). "My kind sweet laird, give me permission to nuke this ÜƧ‗z£ (woman) who has spent the last three years z☺"☻Üú{©¹→1 ☺ ☺54 z☺"☻Üú{©¹→1 ☺ ☺ ÜƧ‗z£ (surgically enhancing her bosom to such a size that she now needs goggles with periscopes to look in front of her when she walks). I will send ©¹→1 ☺ (her) to hell where she rightfully belongs. Please, milord, please!"

The laird is said to have smiled softly at her and have asked her to sit down and breathe. "It is true, we have had an armed detente with the Queendom of Second Norway during the last decade, but I actually cannot see that the declaration of war from the good Queen Mialinn should be taken seriously, to the contrary. To me it seems that her post should be read as a joking peace offering. You all know this already, I love Norwegians and would never contemplate any obliteration of them and their beautiful sims, besides I have been sending friends to live there. They might be hurt too. We do not want to kill Ziggy Starsmith and Drew Barnard and all the other friends we have managed to sneak in there, do we?"

After this the mood of the meeting is said to have changed. The princes and princesses instead started laying plans on how to deal with the hundreds of Vikings the Norwegian queen had promised to send. Duncan came up with a devious plan.

"Well", he started, "we all know that all straight men are not as straight as they seem. Lets make a drink of ginger ale and some Tabasco sauce. When they come we will serve it to them and tell them that if they drink the potion they will forget everything they do and will no longer be responsible for their actions. That should turn a lot of the bi-curious or closeted gays around and we would have a good time too. The ones it doesn´t have an affect on we leave to Hedda and Minerva do deal with."

With that they laughingly left the war room and went up to their waiting countrymen shouting "Pounce the sexy Vikings, pounce them and lets enjoy ourselves!"

11 comments :

  1. I shall seclude myself in my underground bunker until all is safe however I do have room for 1 more Bock ;-)
    They will never find you hiding out with me....naked of coarse!!!!

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    1. LOL Ziggy, you should come to Southern Charm for the Viking Raid Party - it will be so much fun with all these sexy, hot, charming Norwegians prancing around not knowing what hit them when the denizens of my realm pounce them and shower them with kisses, caresses and love!

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  2. LOL
    Is there any chance that these men/warriors you mention are bisexual? ...if so..i will continue my war against....ehm i forgot...i will get back to you later on that matter:)
    BTW: Your right, but in never said that! I am still a women and i will never admit it..not that i am a women but the other part.

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    1. Some of my princes and princesses will bed anything that moves on two feet and has a pulse, I sometimes think... ;)

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  3. Mialinn almost had me in bed with a horse last night ;-)

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    1. Oh my gawd, I hope you managed to squeeze out of that tricky situation ;)

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    2. Be careful, Agent 007, we do not know to what lengths that beautiful and oh so charming Norwegian monarch would be prepared to go!

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  4. http://mialinnsunderligeverden.blogspot.ca/2012/08/look-at-my-horse-my-horse-is-amazing.html

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    1. You did nothing wrong, sweet charming darling Ziggy, I blame that woman! Shame on her to take advantage of a kind soul like you!

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  5. Maybe you need to come and save me ;-)

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    1. Ohhhh you want to be saved now? LOL

      No worries, buddy, I am sure that Mialinn and the other women at her court will be ever so gentle as they pass you between each other as their latest toyboy ;)

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