It has come to my attention through posts made by "Sticky House Husband Brad" and your lovely reply, that you are a guru of the utmost guruness in matters of the heart.
I believe that I suffer from a lack of heart. You see, several of my potential husbands complied with my request to hold our wedding ceremonies directly beside a cemetery. Contrary to their hopes for a adventurous and sexually exciting evening, I ended their lives and conveniently buried them in the freshly dug graves. While those cemeteries were gorgeous, even in one instance fabulous, I believe my indifference and lack of heart brought me to seeking out body drops more for convenience than love for my potential husbands. Unlike the Grinch of Whoville, my heart does not grow 3 sizes bigger each time I look in their eyes, in fact, I'd wager it shrinks even smaller.
How can I grow my heart big enough so that when my next soon to be dead husband says "I do" I can look into his eyes while smiling because I will bury his body not out of convenience or indifference but because I will bury his body in a site befitting the beauty of his mind, body, and spirit?
A heart aching to grow
You are one lucky devil because when I started this column I promised I myself that I would take every request at face value, so I must now accept your request for advice is sincere. Besides, my Editor-in-Chief vehemently insists that I must respond.
One possible way for you to "grow your heart" is to try and let all your unfortunate next husband(s) live for six months after the wedding(s) to give you time to move your deadly interest onto another potential husband. Another way would be to turn to the nearest police office and give them a full and unmitigated account of your doings, preferably also handing over the mementos you have stashed somewhere for your enjoyment and revelling.
However, which is obvious even for an untrained eye, you are most likely a sociopathic serial killer and sex murderer. Although I must commend you for wishing for a bigger heart, there is little or no likelihood of success.
Bock McMillan is a blogger, not a relationship expert, his weekly column "Dear Bock" should therefore merely be considered as his point of view on relationship matters. If you wish to get his reaction to a relationship question you have, you are welcome to send an email to email@example.com. Remember to write "Dear Bock" in the subject line.