Actions & Words

This may come as a complete surprise to many of you, but let me tell you anyway! I, the Much Honored Bock McMillan, laird of Southern Charm etc., etc., am not a perfect man.

I do indeed have flaws, weaknesses and some really ugly habits. Nevertheless, over the course of my life, I have also come to realize that I do have some pretty amazing qualities also. I have an inordinate capacity to love and care for people as they they are and without a need to change them. I am also fiercely loyal to those I love and care about. Although I sometimes joke about my lack of patience, I am - much to my own surprise - still one of the most patient men I know.

Most importantly, I have an uncanny ability for picking good men for myself. I don't mean to say that there are not other good men out there, but that the men I select as my mates are good for me, they complete me and are worthy of my trust. They understand me, see me for what I am and support me when I need it and otherwise let me loose. They can laugh with me and at me (in a way that isn't hurtful) and they make me laugh at myself too. (My "ability" may of course also be just dumb luck, but I do not like to see it that way.)

I am not an easy man to live with, but neither was my Ars or is my Tomais, I am certain that the two partners I have had in my SecondLife, would have respected and loved each other if they had met.

Although I am a man who believes in the importance of words and what people say and how they choose to express themselves, because there is always a choice, my two men bring into the mix the firm belief that words alone are meaningless. Words must be followed up and proven by actions. Ars always said "Actions speak louder than words" and Tomais lives by that rule.

There is a point when telling someone "I love you" and "I am sorry" is not enough anymore, they become empty air, mere flatulence. What one says has to be manifested in action. We are always responsible for our actions, however bad we feel at the time. The word "sorry" needs to be followed by change. Saying the word while repeating the same actions doesn't mean that you can force - or are entitled to - someones forgiveness. They decide if you should or if they want to forgive you, it's not for you to decide.

My promise to Tomais today is that when we are together I will no longer allow others to pull me into their tantrums. I am expecting that you will need to remind me of these words in the beginning, my love, but please never hesitate to do so. You are more important to me than anyone or anything else. Know that!

When I Had to Put My Foot Down

It is sometimes essential to draw the line, to say "this far, but not beyond", when one is dealing with a temperamental, highly talented, creative personality - an "artiste" (French pronunciation) no less as he likes to refer ti himself - like my builder/interior decorator Butch Diavolo. The two of us usually get along famously and share the same taste in many ways.

We were looking at lamps and lighting accessories today, when he suddenly spotted a huge lamp shaped like a full scale, female figurine where her gown was a lamp and told me that we "simply had to" buy it.

I inhaled deeply, while looking at the hideous thing, and then told him with my calmest, firmest and sternest voice, "No, we definitely do not!"

When my brilliant and sometimes even sublime creative advisor heard this, he threw a temper tantrum. He told me that I was impossible to please, that my taste was lacking, that I did not recognize when something was "en vogue" and that he even - here comes the worst part - sometimes wondered if I was truly gay at all, as I did not recognize the potential fabulousness of the marvelous lamp.

To have ones gayness challenged in a dispute over a silly lamp is really hurtful. Despite that I remained adamant, whereupon he threatened to leave SecondLife on the spot and never come back as he had never, ever, in his whole life had to deal with someone as impossible and lacking in good taste as me. Luckily I have dealt with children earlier in my life, so I just pointed at another lamp and asked him what he thought about that one instead.

These god-gifted people are easily distracted, even pointing to something else and starting to talk about it helps. If that does not do it you can always start discussing their latest "wonderful" hairstyle. However, I would suggest you only use that as a last resort. After all, how often can one really discuss someones hair or where they bought it, if they got the fullpack or not and which variety of tones it comes in?

Childish Tantrum

Someone else´s hissy fit has placed me in a state of yearning for payback.

I am almost certain I will remove all the stuff I have been moving around when I wake up later today, but anyway I am going with my vindictive urge for now.

I already feel foolish and childish enough for doing this so bare with me please and don´t judge me to hard for answering to my basest instincts - for a while.