Friday, October 28, 2011

Regrouping

You may  or may not - have noticed that lately I have only been in-world sporadically and for short visits. Whatever the case may be, let me assure you I have no plans of leaving SecondLife.

Still I do think about SecondLife a lot, what has been, what is, what will be and what my future there could be.

I had a sun and a whole solar system of people circling the same sun and surrounding me, supporting me, caring for me and making me feel safe. That solar system is now lost due to developments and voluntary or involuntary decisions and choices made by or for the other people involved.

I must stress that there is no blame or recrimination intended in these statements. I completely respect, approve and even understand the reasons for them not being here. Indeed the rest of my universe still remains and is filled with shining bright stars of people who are my friends, but they are not as close and have others that are closer to them than I am. It is however a drastic change and not a situation I like much, because I feel more vulnerable, exposed and cowardly when left to my own devices.

Due to this you may also have noticed that my recent posts have become more impersonal as my barriers now seem to be coming up again. This could of course be a sign that I am getting more mentally and emotionally stable as an effect of my medication and healing. But if I take myself and my reactions and experiences out of the mix on my blog, it becomes worthless to me and just another SecondLife-blog telling everyone what to wear, where to go and what to do. I do not want that either. If that should happen I might as well shut down this blog because there are others who do that better, have better connections and sources of information and are far better skilled at analyzing the developments.

I need to be raw, not skinless but unclothed, unveiled, in direct contact with my emotions, thoughts and experiences. I don´t wan´t to end up as a "hausfrau-blog" posting just cute pictures of my kids and pets or silly stories of what my kids did during the day. There are many others that do that better to.

So I have a few choices to make in the near future, let´s wait and see what the results are going to be.

9 comments :

  1. Hope one of your choices is to walk around the world with an open mind and see what happens.

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  2. I´m sure you will choose well buddy!

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  3. You should have take the "red" pill

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  4. Thanks Sjofn, Apmel and Ziga!

    NEO, I am not sure what you mean, could you please enlighten me?

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  5. "The term red pill and its opposite, blue pill, are pop culture terms that have become a common symbol for the choice between the blissful ignorance of illusion (blue) and embracing the sometimes painful truth of reality (red).

    The terms were popularized in science fiction culture via the 1999 film The Matrix. In the movie, the main character Neo is offered the choice between a red pill and a blue pill, with the red pill leading to his "escape" from the Matrix, a fictional computer-generated world, while the blue pill would allow him to remain in the world with no knowledge that anything is wrong.


    Thank you Google and Wikipedia.

    Well, now that I understand your reference, NEO, that´s exactly what I thought I was doing, facing the reality of the situation at long last.

    Perhaps I am misunderstanding something...

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  6. You are being realistic, Bock. SL has changed immensely in just the short time I have been here.It is the evolution of culture. It started with those who embrace change and is now moving to the middle. It will take some time to move. Some will go because it no longer meets their needs. Some will stay. Some new people will come. It is the way of life.

    I hope you stay. It is still a new world with much promise. Sometimes, you have to slog through some mud to get to the sunny field of grass and flowers. I am here with my wellies on and a raincoat, holding out my hand with an umbrella :)

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  7. P.S.

    Hunter is standing behind me with a raincoat on and a big smile on his face, waiting to clap you on the back and give you a big hug :)

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  8. Hugs Diana, I am sure you look amazing in only wellies and a raincoat with an umbrella in your hand ;P

    Slap H´s marble ass from me please ;)

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