Visiting Mirromere

At the beginning of every month, for the last ten years, I go to Mirromere to visit with my late husband  Ars. Sometimes, my husband, Tomais comes with me, but mostly I am there alone.

"Satyr at Mirromere" by BMcM

Mirromere is a part of the Calas Galadhon Park, which consists of seven or eight regions. The park is owned, maintained and operated by Ty(mus) Tenk and his husband Truck Meredith. When Ars passed away in 2010 the men graciously offered to host the memorial service and a memorial place for two weeks I think it was, but my memories from that period. are unclear. 

Once the big memorial place was removed a smaller and beautiful place was made. Ars, and later on Dej, have the honor of having a plaque there among other friends of the guys.

P.S. Here is the SLurl to the memorial site at Mirromere.

The New Memorial For My Boys

When my, very much older (Oh he is so going to kill me for that!), brother Dejerrity surprisingly passed away last summer the need for a joint memorial arose for my late husband Ars, his and my brother Dej and (as we found when we cleared up Dej's parcel) Sterling, a k a Bobby, Dej's first husband and true love in SecondLife.

The old memorial which had stood for 8,5 years was starting to feel overwhelming and somewhat creepy, now that I was saner and calmer again. The question was where to place the new downsized memorial. As it happened The Laird's Gardner found true love and left his cabin, so a parcel was freed up, and after some discussion with my husband Tomais, we decided to move the memorial there.

The place is exactly where my and Ars "Quarreling Bench" used to stand (see my blogpost from 2011, The Quarreling Bench (url))

The new memorial site is on the east shore of the Southern Charm region and we have tried to make it a secluded place for the boys and those who visit with them. There is a bench for the visitors to sit on. The hanging lights on both sides of the memorial belong to Ars, who had left them hanging in the air when he passed away.

Tomais helped me and actually did most of the work under my benign leadership, which means that I approved of his excellent ideas from time to time.

I think my boys Ars and Dej would have approved. (I never knew Sterling as he had already passed away when I rezzed into SecondLife.)

Memorial Service for Carl Paneer

My friend Ezzie Mirabella has dropped an item in my profile in SecondLife, but I haven't logged in yet and was therefore grateful for this information being posted on Ryce Skytower's SecondLife (url).

The memorial service for Carl Paneer, a.k.a. NakedCarl, is set for tomorrow, Saturday September 22, 2018, at Viper Isles (SLurl), and will begin at 12:00 PM (noon) SLT.

A Charity Fundraiser and Celebration of Life Party will follow. The location will be open one hour early -- at 11:00 a.m. -- for arrivals.

Ezzie has sent further instructions to everyone who will be attending the service, please go to Ryce's blog post (url) to read them in full.

I hope to see you all there!

News From Dej's Family

Today I received an email from Dej's first life brother Andy.

"Hi [Bock],

I heard from the medical examiner and it turns out that [Dej] had bacterial pneumonia. It was a very bad infection that he probably had for some time and it went untreated. We are all very surprised that he didn't reach out to anyone including a doctor or hospital since antibiotics would probably have saved his life. We shall never know why he chose this path. I am so very glad he had a good friend in you for all those years. He struggled to get along with people so you must have been very special to him. Thanks for your friendship with my brother [Dej].

Andy"

This is my response to Andy.

"Hello Andy,

Thank you so much for the update!

Mike had an ugly cough for a long time, but for some reason, he refused to see a doctor about it - despite much nagging from me. It is sad to realize that something so simple as a cure of antibiotics most likely would have saved his life.

I am sending you the words I shared at the memorial we had for [Dej] and two of the many hundreds of pictures [Dej] has shared with me over the years. Both the pictures are several years old (SL avatars look much better these days). The one called “Mother of the Bride” is one [Dej] sent me when I was getting partnered, while the one called “Dej at his downfall” shows him standing at a place on the sim were I used to accuse him of ditching his husbands and “all” his lovers (I put lots of skeletons in the waters below to represent the “tons, and tons of men laying there” – a gross exaggeration, but we had fun about it anyway.)

As long as I remain in SecondLife and have the sim, Dej’s downfall will always remain. Dej will also share a memorial on the sim with my former partner Ars, who like his brother [Dej] also died of - untreated - double pneumonia in 2010. (What is it with Americans and health care?) 

Dej was very dear to me and it was a pleasure to have been a part of his life.

Thanks again for the information, Andy.

All my best wishes to you and the rest of Mike’s family in [first] life,[Bock]"

The pictures I attached to the response were these two.

"Mother of the Bride" (March 8, 2014)

"Dej at his downfall"

For Dej

These were my words at the memorial gathering for Dej on Sunday.

Dej and I trying out the sits in a new couch

"It’s a sad occasion, but I am happy for those of you who could make it here today and hope that those who couldn’t will remember my brother Dejerrity Mycron in their own way.

Dej is gone, but the people we lose stay with us in the things we do and how we remember them.

I first remember meeting Dej when he – together with Jeb Nicholls - was hosting for my late husband Ars Northmead at some weekly event they had going for a year, or maybe even two years.

Quite frankly, my first impression wasn’t favorable. I thought Dej was a crude and overbearing bastard. He, on the other hand, thought I was a damned fool. Well, that only goes to show how very wrong first impressions can be sometimes.

I got to know Dej better when Ars passed away in 2010. To my own amazement, I discovered that underneath that rough exterior he was a kind, loving, smart and very gentle soul.

Dej was fiercely loyal and very protective towards me. In that time, he also made his home here at Southern Charm. His protectiveness made me feel safe in a time when I had lost my footing. In the years to come our friendship grew and we became closer. I discovered what a truly good man he was.

Although, as I am sure you all know, he had an awful temper and high defenses, we never really exchanged an unfriendly word. In time he let me come past his walls of protection and I got to know the entirely lovable man behind the rough exterior.

Dej was a man with many and diverse interests.

Did you know he was a secret Trekkie and had a childlike fascination with everything science fiction? He even built a wonderful and complex command station for the USS Enterprise over many years. It would fold out in various ways and had all kinds of instrumentation that I don’t know a thing about, not being a Trekkie myself.

Dej often boasted of having the largest collection of gay porn videography in the history of mankind, among them the complete “Centurians of Rome” , a classic from 1981.

On the other hand, he also had an extremely large collection of show tunes and often knew all the lyrics by heart. He would often sing them to me – and others who cared to listen in – with his beautiful tenor. But he never liked when I tried to sing along, I cannot understand why.

I was utterly shocked when I was reached by the news of Dej’s death and the circumstances surrounding it: he had died alone at the age of only 54 and that he hadn’t been discovered for up to a week after his passing. Add to that the facts that the cause and time of his death are still unknown. It saddened me deeply that I had lost a brother in that way.

Hopefully we will learn more about what caused his death and when he died after the investigations are completed. Dej’s brother in first life has promised to keep me apprised of the results. I can only hope he keeps his promise.

Dej is gone, and we remain to guard his memory and keep him in our hearts and minds. I will always remember him as my protective brother, with a weakness for singing show tunes to me to make me happy when I was sad, or even just to make me laugh.

I will always love you, Dej, and I will always remember you for the warm, caring and loving man that you were.

Rest in peace, my sweet brother."

Reminder: Memorial Gathering for Dej Today

The memorial gathering for Dej is today at 3 PM SLT. Here is your landmark to the gathering, Rosewood Manor (Dej's Place) SLurl.

Suggested clothing: Boardshorts/shorts and sandals/bare feet. (That was Dej's prefered clothing when he was entertaining at home.)

If you should not be able to attend today you can come there from now until August 31st, 2018. 

After that there will be a new memorial for Dej set up together with his brother Ars Northmead at another place on the sim.

Through the kindness of Ty Tenk and Truck Meredith, there will also be a memorial site for both of them at Mirromere sim at The Calas Galadhon Park sims.

Memorial for Dej

I have been in low spirits ever since I got the sad news about my sweet brother Dej, especially as the circumstances surrounding his demise were unclear (the cause and the time of death).

I kept imagining him lying in his apartment and dying all by himself without being able to call attention to his situation. I hope his passing was swift and that he was unconscious through it, but kept imagining other horrendous scenarios.

Anyhow, a few days ago I pulled myself together and gathered up the courage to make a telephone call to one of Dej's brothers in first life in the hope of getting further information. I found his telephone number on the Internet.

The brother, Andy, was very kind (he had heard about me from Dej) and sounded strikingly similar to Dej. Andy verified all the information we have received so far about Dej's passing and the circumstances as far as they are known now. He also informed me that there was an ongoing enquiry and that the family has not been given any further information so far. The authorities were awaiting results from the many tests that had been performed. He believed that the results would not be forthcoming for several weeks yet. He promised to inform me when he was informed and we exchanged email-addresses.

I have come to the conclusion that the memorial for Mike/Dej cannot wait for the results. There will therefore be a memorial gathering at Dej's Place on Sunday July 15th, 2018, at 3 PM SLT.

Suggested clothing: Boardshorts/shorts and sandals/barefeet. That was Dej's prefered clothing when he was entertaining at home.

---
If you should not be able to come at that time you can go there from now until August 31st, 2018. I have prepared a memorial spot in the woods behind Dej's house. Here is your landmark, Rosewood Manor (Dej's Place) SLurl.

Memorial for Dejerrity Mycron?

People have been asking me if there will be a memorial for my beloved brother Dej. 

There most certainly will be one! However, I will not host a memorial for my beloved brother without first knowing why, when or how he passed away. 

When I know more I will announce a memorial service, which will be held at his home on the Southern Charm sim. 

Please relay this information to anyone you know who also knew and loved Dej.

---

I am also contacting Ty Tenk & Truck Meredith to possibly arrange for a plaque in Dej's memory at Mirromere, Calas Galadhon Park Sims. 

Memorial For Dano

A week ago we all learned that the man behind the SecondLife avatar DanR Raymaker, in first life known as Scott Spencer, had passed away after struggling with a painful disease for a long time.

DanR Raymaker-Mirabella
(a.k.a. Scott Spencer)
★ March 19, 2007  † June 30, 2017

I knew him as Dano and first met him at Boots Gay Beach in 2007 (when he looked as his profile picture above).

Dano was one of the most charming, kindest and caring men I have ever met, with a weird sense of humor and a contagious joy of life. Being around Dano, meant you had fun, whatever mood you were in when you got there.

Even his last post on Facebook bears witness of his amazing sense of humor despite the pain and adversities he was struggling with in first life.

Dano was also one of a handful of non-Swedish avatars who dared take part in my blog-series "Naked Avatars in SL" in 2010. You can see his beautiful contribution in this post from May 21, 2010.

Yesterday I was invited to, and took part in, the memorial service for him and the celebration of his life. We were about 20-22 assembled, under the guidance of Evan Greymyst and Ezzie Mirabella. I am sure we would have been many more if people didn't have first life responsibilities to contend with during a weekday, but I am happy I could be there.

As I understand it, Dano had in length discussed with Evan Greymyst how he wished his memorial to be conducted. It was a memorable service.

Evan Greymyst conducting the memorial

Dano's husband Nibz and their two sons

Rest in peace, Dano, you will be sorely missed!

Orlando Memorial in SecondLife

Kip Ashbourne and Chaz Longstaff are inviting us to remember the men and women lost in the mass murder in Orlando on June 12th 2016.

In their invitation they say:
"Join us in coming together to sign a guest book and light a candle, and sharing some time and thoughts with your friends, neighbours and SL community.

To sign the guestbook, just drop a notecard in with one or two lines in it. Your words will automatically be written on the pages of the guestbook.

The memorial is open around the clock.

No donations, please.

Kip and Chaz"

The Orland Memorial - light a candle & sign the guestbook (SLurl)

Memorial Concert for Avacar with Phemie Alcott

On the afternoon of Saturday, February 7, 2015, Second Life celebrity singer Phemie Alcott will be performing at a memorial concert for Avacar Bluestar, who passed away in November.

Read more about this event on Eddi & Ryce's Second Life; Hold the Date: Phemie Alcott To Sing at A Memorial Concert for Avacar Bluestar on Saturday, February 7

Overpriced?

Tomais and I were out looking for a new Christmas tree to put up at the sim over by Ars' memorial. On Marketplace we came across this one, in several versions.

Description
"Typical German Christbaum or Weihnachtsbaum

this is the perfect Xmas tree, because...

* the tree has 120 giftboxes underneath
* in every single ornaments you can see the reflection of a candle
* high detailed candles
* high detailed ornaments
* detailed bells
* the tree has a high detailed string of pearls around the tree
* the has a high detailed decoration on the top
* the tree has a fantastic magical light effect at daytime and night
* the tree has a very detailed texture from a real christmas tree

* the tree is level of detail optimized, when you go far away then you see allways for example every candle

* the width of the tree is 40x40m with the snow underground
* the high is 23 m"

---

It is indeed a beautiful work of art and highly detailed and must have taken many, many hours to complete, but all the same I do think that the price of L$40.000 is a bit steep...

I am quite certain that if the creator had priced it better he would most likely have made more money from his work.

Let's say 100 copies of the trees are sold at the current price, that would mean an income of L$4.000.000, but if the price had been set to L$5.000 they would most likely sell many more copies - I am guessing 1.000 - and would earn an income of L$5.000.000.

But pricing is difficult and what do I really know about it... my amazing Jester's Hats were only sold in 10 copies for L$10 a piece. The market was not ready for them... and perhaps never will be.

Labors of Love

When the Much Honored Bock McMillan, laird of Southern Charm etc. etc., returned home yesterday evening after a 24-hour excursion to first life he was completely blown away, baffled and extremely excited, elated and exhilarated to see the work that his loved ones had been up to in his absence.

Southern Charm looked more beautiful than ever before. My loving family and friends had undertaken to perform some of the landscaping and winterizing on huge parts of the sim. Beautiful winter trees had been planted in many places, while the previous trees and plants had been lifted far into the skies.

I cried out with joy when I saw what they had achieved, and to be honest, I kept on yelling much of the evening as I noticed the details one after the other. Tears of happiness flooded my eyes repeatedly, but especially when I saw what they had around Ars' Memorial.

The hairs on my arms, legs, neck and back stood to attention most of the evening as I saw what my loving family had done. They know me and my tastes so well that I was completely overjoyed. I was much too happy to take many pictures, but I am using two were taken at my new ice skating pond (where the meadow used to be).

Thank you so much, my sweet darlings and lover, this was the most wonderful gift I could get. I cannot even imagine how I will ever be able to repay you.

And here is a bonus picture of Guykechen in snow.

The Second Pride Memorial Chapel

This evening I made a visit to the interdenominational memorial chapel at Second Pride.

It is an extraordinarily beautiful building placed close to the waters and is surrounded by trees. The wonderful place is unexpectedly calm and serene, considering how busy the rest of the three sims are.

At the back of the chapel there are two small tables, one in each corner, with candles that can be lit for a lost friend or loved one.

I was very pleased to notice that there were three candles already lit for my Ars and I lit a fourth. It also made me happy to see that Kris Mounier was still loved and remembered by someone, Ars always had a great deal of affection for that kind man.

D R E Y Is Back

My darling brother in-law D R E Y (the spaces are important and make him look younger, he hasn't said so but it´s what I suspect).

As always when my BIL comes back from a hiatus he has made a complete makeover and is now a stunning blond with a skin he will have to take care with in the permanent sunshine of our world.

It was late (or early) in my first life but we do not meet that often so when the occasion arose we just had to meet and talk a little, it happened to be at Fabrice´s memorial site because I was there when he came inworld.

I love my BIL, it was good to see and talk with him again.

At Fabrice´s Memorial Site

Yesterday there was a memorial Mass in honor of Fabrice Snook at the Parroquia Santa Maria de Guadalupe (SLurl). As I wanted to leave room in the church for those closer to Fabrice, I visited his memorial site later in the day instead.

While I was at the memorial site we were about 6-7 avatars on the Open Spaces sim (which only holds 10 avatars) where it is placed. It was apparent by the many greetings, gifts, candles and bouquets that the site had been visited by many.

If you also wish to pay your respects the site is located here (SLurl). (The memorial is behind the building at the landing spot.)

Bora Comes By

Bora Rossini came over for a visit today. We haven´t seen each other for some time, so it was good to talk about what had happened in our lives since the last time we talked and catch up with the others.

While Bora was there we also took the time to look at the memorial for Ars that Bora once very kindly made for me from the huge memorial that stood at Mirromere for a week. Bora cut it down to a quarter of its original size so that it fits perfectly on the parcel, without losing any of its beauty.

Memorial Ceremony in Second Norway

The monument for the victims is made by Njord Longfall

Today there was a memorial ceremony for the victims of the bombings in Oslo City center and the massacre on Utøya on July 22nd 2011.  

Ey Ren, co-founder of Second Norway, spoke the words that were in all our hearts, "These atrocities are against the core of what it means to be Norwegian, Swedish or Scandinavian." .

Njorls monument is inscribed with the words that the Norwegian girl Helle Grannestad said to a friend when she heard of the tragic events, "If one man can show so much hate, think how much love we could show standing together." The same words also concluded Ey´s speech at the ceremony.

The Norwegian police has now published the complete list of the 77 victims killed in the massacre at Utøya and the bombing in Oslo City center.

Utøya (69):
Karrar Mustafa Qasim, 19, Vestby.
Andreas Edvardsen, 18, Sarpsborg.
Ronja Søttar Johansen, 17, Vefsn.
Emil Okkenhaug, 15, Levanger.
Åsta Sofie Helland Dahl, 16, Sortland.
Monica Iselin Didriksen, 18, Sund.
Rune Havdal, 43, Øvre Eiker.
Tore Eikeland, 21, Bergen.
Espen Jørgensen, 17, Bodø.
Karin Elena Holst, 15, Rana.
Aleksander Aas Eriksen, 16, Meråker.
Victoria Stenberg, 17, Nes.
Ruth Benedicte Vatndal Nilsen, 15, Tønsberg.
Isabel Victoria Green Sogn, 17, Oslo.
Ida Beathe Rogne, 17, Østre Toten.
Elisabeth Trørnnes Lie, 16, Halden.
Monica Elisabeth Bøsei, 45, Hole.
Håvard Vederhus, 21, Oslo.
Carina Borgund, 18, Oslo.
Ingrid Berg Heggelund, 18, Ås.
Tarald Kuven Mjelde, 18, Osterøy.
Porntip Ardam, 21, Oslo.
Andrine Bakkene Espeland, 16, Fredrikstad.
Torljus Jakobsen Blattmann, 17, Kristiansand.
Jamil Rafal Mohamad Jamil, 20, Eigersund.
Tina Sukuvara, 18, Vadsø.
Fredrik Lund Schjetne, 18, Eidsvoll.
Steinar Jessen, 16, Alta.
Lejla Selaci, 17, Fredrikstad.
Henrik Rasmussen, 18, Hadsel.
Thomas Margido Antonsen, 16, Oslo.
Mona Abdinur, 18, Oslo.
Anders Kristansen, 18, Bardu.
Gunnar Linaker, 23, Bardu.
Ismail Haji Ahmed, 19, Hamar.
Trond Berntsen, 51, Øvre Eiker.
Sharidyn Svebakk-Bøhn, 14, Drammen.
Silje Merete Fjellbu, 17, Tinn.
Hanne A.Balch Fjalestad, 43, Lunner.
Bano Abobakar Rashid, 18, Nesodden.
Syvert Knudsen, 17, Lyngdal.
Diderik Aamodt Olsen, 19, Nesodden.
Simon Sæbø, 18, Salangen.
Synne Røyneland, 18, Oslo.
Birgitte Smetbak, 15, Nøtterøy.
Margrethe Bøyum Kløven, 16, Bærum.
Even Flugstad Malmedal, 18, Gjøvik.
Tamta Lipartelliani, 23, Georgien.
Kevin Daae Berland, 15, Askøy.
Silje Stamneshagen, 18, Askøy.
Hanne Kristine Fridtun, 19, Stryn.
Håkon Ødegaard, 17, Trondheim.
Sondre Furseth Dale, 17, Haugesund.
Henrik André Pedersen, 27, Porsanger.
Eivind Hovden, 15, Tokke.
Rolf Christopher Johansen Perreau, 25, Trondheim.
Sverre Flåte Bjørkavåg, 28, Sula.
Eva Kathinka Lütken, 17, Sarpsborg.
Maria Maagerø Johannesen, 17, Nøtterøy.
Modupe Ellen Awoyemi, 15, Drammen.
Lene Maria Bergum, 19, Namsos.
Guro Vartdal Håvol, 18, Ørsta.
Marianne Sandvik, 16, Stavanger.
Andreas Dalby Grønnesby, 17, Stange.
Sondre Kjøren, 17, Orkdal.
Bendik Rosnæes Ellingsen, 18, Rygge.
Gizem Dogan, 17, Trondheim.
Snorre Haller, 30, Trondheim.
Johannes Buø, 14, Mandal.

Oslo City center (8):
Jon Vegard Lervåg, 32, Oslo.
Ida Marie Hill, 34, Oslo.
Hanne Ekroll Løvlie, 30, Oslo.
Tove Åshill Knutsen, 56, Oslo.
Hanna M Orvik Endresen, 61, Oslo.
Kai Hauge, 32, Oslo.
Anne Lise Holter, 51, Våler.
Kjersti Berg Sand, 26, Nord-Odal.

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May you rest in peace, we will never forget you!

Ars Memorial - tillfälligt

Det finns ett underbart - men tillfälligt - minnesmärke för min älskade Ars som jag vill dela med mig av.
Här har ni landningsmärket: Ars temporary Memorial at Mirromere. (Det finns några permanenta som jag kommer att berätta om senare)

Besök gärna detta minnesmärke snart, det försvinner på söndag!

Denna bild har den underbara Millimina Salamander tagit.

Jag vill tacka min Ars bröder Dejerrity Mycron och Jeb Nicholls för att de kom på den goda idén och sedan såg till att den förverkligades och även för allt deras stöd under denna hemska tid för oss alla tre.

Jag vill också tacka simägarna Truck Meredith och Tymus Tenk för att vi fick låna deras underbara homestead Mirromere för att uppföra minnesmärket och för all vänlighet och allt stöd under tiden. Jag vill dessutom redan nu tacka dem för att vi får låna deras intilligande sim Calas Galadhon för genomförandet av en minneshögtid för Ars nu på lördag 3 PM SLT (mer info med landningsmärke kommer snart).

Det gör mig oerhört stolt att berätta att Ars RL-systrar nu har skapat en avatar! Denna avatar kommer att vara närvarande vid minneshögtiden kommande lördag med Ars far och den ena av systrarna framför skärmen! 

Jag vill även tacka byggarna av minnesmärket Bora Rossini och Luckymen Moody för deras vision och genomförandet av den.

Slutligen vill jag tacka er alla - ingen nämnd och ingen glömd - för allt stöd under denna svåra tid. Ni har verkligen varit underbara. Särskild tacksamhet känner jag mot min och Ars son Guyke Lundquist, mina tålmodiga vänner Millimina Salamander och Zigadena Gabardini.