Ars in Memoriam 2020

Joseph Douglas Wilson Jr., in SecondLife known as Ars Northmead.

★ April 21, 1953 (First life)
★ October 25, 2006 (SecondLife)

† March 12, 2010

Ars Forever, Forever Ars!

Ars In Memoriam 2019

Joseph Douglas Wilson Jr., in SecondLife known as Ars Northmead.

★ April 21, 1953 (First life)
★ October 25, 2006 (SecondLife)

† March 12, 2010

Ars Forever, Forever Ars!

Ars In Memoriam 2018

Joseph Douglas Wilson Jr., in SecondLife also known as Ars Northmead,

★ April 21, 1953 (First life)
★ October 25, 2006 (SecondLife)

† March 12, 2010

"Ars Forever, Forever Ars"

Ars In Memoriam 2016

Joseph Douglas Wilson Jr., 

in SecondLife a.k.a Ars Northmead

★ April 21, 1953 (First life)

★ October 25, 2006 (SecondLife)

† March 12, 2010

Photo: Pencil variation of an original photo by Kent Hutchinson of KH Photography.

#DoTheRightThingforAvacar

Yesterday I was contacted by Rico Bluestar, who wanted to know how the situation concerning the transfer of Southern Charm sim had been solved when my husband Ars Northmead passed away on March 12, 2010. Ars was in first life also known as Joseph Douglas "Doug" Wilson Jr.

Although Linden Lab were compassionate and as helpful as they reasonably could be throughout the process, I could only tell him that I was fortunate that Doug' first life family were understanding and loving enough to help me in that situation.

Doug's father, who was the executor of Doug's estate, presented the proper documentation to Linden Lab showing his status as father and executor, and also wrote a letter to Linden Lab in which he asked them to transfer Southern Charm to me. That saved the situation for me.

I am forever grateful to the Wilson family, and especially Mr. Wilson himself, for the love, support and assistance they showed me - a complete stranger (although Doug had mentioned me to them several times it seems) - in this difficult situation.

---

Rico Bluestar was the partner of Avacar Bluestar for close to three year up until Avacar passed away on November 14, 2014. Together the two owned, operated and worked hard to build Gay Fun World (GFW) as a place for gay residents to go to for fun and shopping.

Rico is not as fortunate as I was. It seems that Avacar's first life family are Southern Baptist and all of them - with the exception of a one of Avacar's sisters - absolutely abhor and detest Avacar's "lifestyle choice" (i.e. that he was gay and admitted it). They want all evidence of Avacar's homosexuality obliterated and disolved and will therefor not cooperate to have the sims transferred to Rico Bluestar.

I think that is wrong, it is in fact an outrage!

I would like all of my family and friends - straight or gay - to join me in telling Ebbe Altberg, the CEO of Linden Lab, and Linden Lab itself that it is time for them to take a stand against homophobia, to make an exception and to transfer the GFW sims to Rico.

If you have a Twitter account please retweet my tweet and ask your friends to do so too. If you don't have a Twitter account, get one and do the same thing. Gawd this is the 21st century people, get with the program!

@ebbealtberg & @LindenLab, #DoTheRightThingforAvacar and put an end to #homophobia. Transfer the GFW sims to Rico! pic.twitter.com/WYipgApNVq
— Bock McMillan (@BockMcMillan) January 15, 2015

Doug in Memoriam 2014

Joseph Douglas Wilson Jr., a.k.a

Ars Northmead

★ April 21, 1953 (first life)
★ October 25, 2006 (SecondLife)
† March 12, 2010

Congratulations, SecondLife!

Our wonderful immersive three dimensional virtual reality SecondLife is officially 10 years old today!

I would like to take this occasion to thank Philip Linden, in first life also known as Philip Rosedale, the founding father of our world, who first envisioned something far less complicated and more militant than the spectacular, wonderful and fabulous world we inhabit today.

Besides Philip there were other brilliant and fabulous geeks and nerds, those who first understood what he was rambling about and could assist him in creating the very first version of our world and then the later generations of amazing and lovable tech geeks and nerds at Linden Lab who kept on tweaking, adjusting and adding to the original version during the first marvelous ten years.

I love all of you adorable dorks, Philip Linden, Andrew Linden, Cory Linden, Frank Linden, James Linden, Doug Linden, Eric Linden, John Linden, Tessa Linden (who kept the first generation fueled with caffeine and dealt with matters so that the geeks and nerds wouldn't have to drop their work and do it) and all the other amazingly talented geeks and nerds and other wonderful people that followed, including Belinda Linden, Keira Linden and Theresa Linden. All of the amazing Lindens, with the single exception of that awful man M Linden, the s-o-b who downsized Linden Labs dramatically and so left us hanging with loads of untreated and unsolved issues for a long time.

You all and we made it through the first ten years, my darlings, now give us ten more wonderful years!

In Loving Memory

Joseph Douglas Wilson Jr. 
★ April 21, 1953
† March 12, 2010

Ars Northmead

★ October 25, 2006
† March 12, 2010

My Lovely Ars

Ars Northmead (October 25, 2006 - March 12, 2010)

in first life also known as

J.D. "Doug" Wilson (April 21, 1953 - March 12, 2010)

in loving memory

For Christmas 2009 I gave my closest family members photo sessions with the renowned photographer Kent Hutchinson of KH Photography. 

Ars was the first to make an appointment with Kent and have his pictures taken. About a week later Kent invited us back to the studio to look at the proofs and to select which four pictures we wanted out of the 20 that were on display there. 

Ars, Millimina and I went to the studio together, I had butterflies in my stomach and was nervous that Ars would be disappointed with the results. I needn't have worried. Kent had done a splendid job in capturing the essence of my lovely Ars. After taking only one look at them all, I told Kent that we wanted all of them. Every single one.

Although Ars and I had been together for two years at the time and I loved him deeply, seeing the pictures - especially the one I am using in this post - made me fall in love with him all over again.

Ars Rezday 2012

On this day 6 years ago Joseph Douglas Wilson Jr., who was called J.D. or Doug by his family and friends in first life, rezzed into SecondLife for the first time. In the registration process when entering SecondLife he chose the name Ars Northmead.

Ars lived, worked, loved and thrived in SecondLife up until shortly before his death on March 12, 2010. He was a beautiful man, a kind soul, a wonderful lover and a loyal friend. He has been missed and will be missed as long as there is someone left to love him and remember him.

I love you, I remember you and I miss you. Forever Ars!

The Remembering Our Friends Memorial

I didn't know that a place like the Remembering Our Friends Memorial (ROF) existed in SecondLife until a few days after Doug/Ars had died when his brothers Dej and Jeb told me that a few of Ars´s friends had placed a plaque for him there.

Later the same week I was contacted by Kilara Banning, whom I had met at a function a few weeks earlier, who asked if she could place a memorial for Ars at Linden Park (SLurl thanks to Ziggy for reminding me) another memorial site in SecondLife. Linden Park is made available by Linden Lab.

Since the inception of Remembering Our Friends Memorial by Carlo Dufaux, Tina Barrett and Mike Burleigh , they have provided space in their Chapel and Annex Wings for plaques for loved ones that were SecondLife residents as well as those who never were residents.

Personalized memorial plaques are created with no cost obligation to the requester. Freestanding custom built monuments are also available at a small fee.

Remembering Our Friends Memorial is funded through donations and sponsorship. They do not profit from this revenue and any excess funding, after expenses, is used for expansion, upkeep and the causes they support.

All plaques and monuments feature an oil lamp, that can be lighted in memory of your loved one for a nominal fee. There are of course also a few donation boxes around the venue, but if I have the time I prefer the lighting candles method. You can light the candles of anyone you choose, I have made it my task to keep the candles in the section where Ars´s plaque is lit.

For more information you can visit Remembering Our Friends Memorial´s website (url).

The landmark to the sim Remembering Our Friends Memorial (SLurl) and to Ars´s memorial plaque (SLurl) (Their is a fixed landing spot, so the best way to find Ars plaque is to first look up the location on a map then red arrows will guide you once you land there.)

P.S. Yes, I detest the white angelic figures all over the place, but I try to ignore them for the good cause, mostly I succeed.)

Doug´s Birthday

Love you Doug, my babe!

Greetings from Doug´s Family

Marsdeb after a makeover

I sent an email to Doug´s sister Debbie yesterday, and received her answer today. (Debbie is my link to Doug's first life family.)

As some of you may remember, Marsdeb Yoots was the avatar created by Doug's first life family to represent them at the second memorial service in SecondLife for Doug/Ars.

That memorial service was held at Calas Galdhon a week after his passing with more than 70 avatars joining us from the whole world (from New Zealand and Australia in the east to California, United States, and British Columbia, Canada, in the far west and everywhere in between.)

Through Marsdeb´s participation eight of Doug's first life family (including his parents) could join us at the beautiful memorial service.

"Tell the second life family hello. One of these days Marie and I might just surprise you and plan a trip to Sweden to meet you and others from second life who would care to join us.

Be happy as you know that is what Doug/Ars would want.

Love to all,
Debbie"

This would perhaps be an appropriate time to ask you all who may have been at the memorial service to please send me any pictures you may have from that occasion, I was too busy with myself to even think about taking pictures. You can either drop them on my SecondLife profile or send them to me in an e-mail to lundamats@gmail.com

Ars In Memoriam

Joseph Douglas Wilson Jr., in SecondLife better known as the avatar Ars Northmead, passed away peacefully on March 12, 2010, at 8.30 PM SLT. Doug died at hospital in Little Rock, Arkansas, of respiratory failure and complications due to double pneumonia.

In his first life Doug left behind parents, four siblings and their families. In SecondLife Ars left behind me, our son Guyke and Ars´s three brothers Andrey, Dejerrity and Jeb and very many friends. All of us miss him terribly in our lives.

Hey, my darling, I am back to sit and talk with you at Mirromere again. Somehow this is still where I feel closest to you, even if I know you are with me everywhere. The calmness of this place soothes me. 

Its strange really, today is two years since you passed away and sometimes it still feels like it was only two weeks ago. These two years have been rough, but I am doing much better now and am getting increasingly better as time lingers on. Nowadays I can even think of you, talk with you or about you without breaking up - most of the time. Other times are not so good, but those days are farther apart. 

I think a lot about our years together, babe, when I first saw you, when I first heard you laugh, when we first kissed, when we first made love on those damn pose balls that weren't adjusted to our sizes, when you first told me you loved me and I confessed that I had loved you for the longest time and had gotten to love you more every time we met.

I remember how we went looking for our new home together in secrecy. Not telling anyone what we were doing or why we were doing it. The many, many, places we saw before we came to Southern Charm and saw the house on the waterfall and both knew at once that this would have to be it. It felt like home from the start. 

We had many good times, my darling Ars, and they are good to think about now. We had some bad times also, babe, but they never, ever, made us doubt that what was good between us would hold whatever came in our way. I have never been happier than when I have been with you, my Ars, you always made me feel safe, you made me feel clever and you made me feel worthy of your love. 

Did I ever tell you that I sometimes seem to forget what that wild and crazy laughter of yours sounds like? But you always come through for me, and the next night or the night after that I hear it in my dreams and get all warm and fuzzy allover again. Yeah, yeah, we aren't religious any of us but still, that's what actually happens.

Oh Ars, did I tell you today? Yes I know that you know I love you, but did I actually speak it out. Somethings need to be said out loud and repeated as often as it suits you. So whether or not I already told you, I love you so much Ars baby, always and forever.

Nobel Prize for Philip Rosedale?!!

Philip in a tuxedo - like I want to see him soon again

So I was dreaming a bit during the night and now I am going to share parts of my dreams with you, dear readers. The dreams were totally wild and crazy but happy ones.

I had a short one about kissing my Ars, it was so real that I even dreamed of feeling his breath on my face. The only thing was my mind could not decide which Ars I was kissing, his SecondLife avatar or his first life person Doug, so it kind of shifted from one to the other all the time.

In my dreams I also remembered the amazing memorial services that were held in Ars honor, first the one at St. Magnus Kirk in Hinterland (arranged by Chade, Hiroku and the other wonderful men at Hinterland) and then the one at the Calas Galadhon Garden sims (arranged by two of Ars´s brothers, Dejerrity and Jeb, and the two owners of Calas Galadhon, Tymus Tenk and Truck Meredith, and finally wonderful builder Bora Rossini).

Come to think of it I really wish I had pictures from those two services, but I was too preoccupied with other things to take any myself.

At both places we had many avatars coming in from all corners of the world to be together and support each other at this point in time and in their busy first life´s. All because we shared a love and admiration for the avatar Ars Northmead and Doug, the man behind the avatar.

The memorial at Mirromere with me, our boys and Millimina
(Photo courtesy of Millimina Salamander)

Did you know that we were more  than 70 avatars at Calas Galadhon for the whole ceremony? And one of the avatars actually had parts of Doug´s first life family sitting there watching the computer screen, his father, his sisters and brothers and some cousin and nephews.

We were all there, from all over the world sharing these moments of remembrance together, being with each other, supporting each other.

The first thing I thought when I woke up was "Philip Rosedale - and possibly Linden Lab also - should be awarded the Nobel Prize!"

The Nobel Prize comes in the following categories Physics, Chemistry, Physiology or Medicine, Literature, Peace, and finally Economic Sciences. The last prize is awarded by Sweden's National bank in Memory of Alfred Nobel.

I can imagine Philip Rosedale receiving the prize in possibly three of the six categories, Physics, Physiology or Medicine and Peace, but maybe also Economic Sciences.

What do you people think? Could he receive the prize? If so, in which category/categories and why? Talk amongst yourselves then tell me. I have a few ideas myself that I may possibly leak.

Email for Easter

Från: XX [mailto:x.x@y.se]
Skickat: den 21 April 2011 19:04
Till: Debbie Z
Ämne: Happy Easter

Dear Debbie, Marie and Mr. X and all the others of what I feel is my American family,

Today I have been thinking of you all and of Doug for reasons you are well aware of.

I was very grateful for your last mail giving me an update on how the others in the X-family are doing.

On this side of the big pond things are going well now. Both my elderly parents (81 and 82 years old) are doing well and we are still celebrating the fact that – according to the last report – there is still no sign of the bladder cancer that has been bothering my father the last five years. It actually looks like they managed to remove it altogether in the latest of the four operations. My parents spirits are up, and when they go up so do mine. Our family keeps on growing every year as two of my three nieces and my nephew seem to be taking turns in reproducing. We are happy for all the new girls, for yes it´s always girls! My third niece is only twenty still so she hasn´t started yet but she has a longtime boyfriend now, so who knows…

Well, perhaps my family is here to correct the global gender imbalance caused by the Chinese and the Indians.

Spring has finally come to southern Sweden now. We see much more of the sun again and the temperatures are slowly rising and are now in the low 60´s (F). The forsythia bushes are glowing in yellow and the trees have started to grow leaves, it´s a wonderful time of year. I am still tinkering along but am still on my antidepressants. Most of the time it gets better, but I still get bad periods but the periods are shorter and further between. My doctor tells me he is happy with my progress so...  A few of my closest friends – people that I love and trust - have started telling me that I need to move along or at least start thinking about it. My answer to these kindhearted and loving friends has been that I am sure I will do that in time, but that I am not ready to do so yet. I am on my own timetable and follow my emotions in this. I am not going to be rushed into or out of something to satisfy anyone except myself.

In SecondLife I am still the proud owner of the Southern Charm sim that Ars and I had together, everything is still the same except that my last renter left around new year. I have the money for it so I am keeping it as long as SecondLife exists. The money would only go into a pension fund otherwise and I do not believe I will ever get as old as my parents so what the heck. You and the rest of the Wilsons will always have a virtual home there if you ever decide to revisit us.

I would like to wish you all a very happy Easter and hope you have a nice time during the holidays!

Hugs to you all,

Bock

Touched by Ars

I had been dreading this day for weeks, the first anniversary of the day that my Ars/my Doug passed away.

Everytime I thought about this day my stomach bundled up into a hard knot and I got more confused and worried than I usually can be at my very worst.

It got so bad I had to delegate the planning of the details of this gathering of Ars family and closest friends to my son Guyke and my sister Millimina. The two of them of course did an excellent job, we think alike the three of us and our tastes are similar. They checked in from time to time about some detail, I always confirmed their ideas.

I shouldn't have been so afraid, Ars was watching over me and all the others of his family and close friends. We who had loved him and who had been fortunate enough to be blessed by his love.

The day started out splendidly when I received an answer to my invitation to Doug's sisters in real life to join us for the gathering. Sadly they couldn't join us but the mail was not at all a rejection, it was full of love, caring and shared emotions.

In anticipation of the gathering in the evening I wanted to be well rested, so I slept in long and took many catnaps during the day. Each time I dreamed of Ars. Well, I had one nightmare about a cat jumping up at my face to scratch my eyes out also but mostly I dreamed of my Ars. I heard his laughter and I heard his voice in my dreams.

When the time for the gathering finally came they all rallied in to support me and to be supported by me and each other on this day. 

Dejerrity, who came early to have a few moments with Ars by himself, Millimina, Jeb, Andrey, Sarco, Yannis, Guyke and Janttu. Orchid, Yannis wife, dropped in for a brief visit also.

We had a truly magical and wonderful evening as we shared many happy memories about my darling Ars and some sad ones to. A few misunderstandings were cleared up. We laughed a lot and I often had tears in my eyes. but the tears were both of joy and sadness. All of us who were there were loved by Ars in some way and we all loved him right back. He touched our lives and still does.

Photo courtesy of Millimina Salamander

I never once wept - not until afterwards - and then it was more out of relief and when all the apprehension and tension left my body. 

I am so grateful to all those who were there with me at this time in my life. What could have been a terrible and lonely day, become a day of love, loving support, caring and sweet memories. My deepest gratitude goes to you all for being an important part of my life, I love you all dearly!

Ars forever, forever Ars!

Ars + Bock = ❤

Our first kiss in public

This day a year ago, on February 12th 2010, my partner in SecondLife since more than two years made me a very happy man when he proposed to me.I of course immediately accepted the proposal.

At this time my Ars and I had been together for more than two years. We had often joked about SL-marriages, the big wedding ceremonies after only knowing one another just a few weeks followed by bitter divorces a month or so afterwards, only to be followed again by a new "true love", a new marriage and a new divorce etc. etc.

In spite of all our joking I had been contemplating "popping the question" to Ars for awhile, but hadn't yet mustered the courage to do so. Not for fear he didn't love me, but just because we had joked too much about it I guess... and what the hell, it was all going great for us even without the formalities...

This was one of our happiest days in SecondLife, little did we know at the time that Ars (or rather the real man Doug) would pass away a month later.

The picture I am using in this post is actually a snapshot of a picture that I had unfortunately deleted after mounting it on a prim. It shows another happy day, when we first went public with our love to our friends. It was taken at SSG ("the Sarcosound grounds") by Evander Milena, in November 2007.

If it had not been for Evanders so-called wife (who later turned out to in fact be his alt) Elena I am not sure I would have ever have dared to finally start talking with Ars. For that I will always be thankful to "the infamous three E´s", as we later called them. Evander, Elena and Emile were a group of alt´s that for a long time had me and my friends totally fooled.

I was imagining this post would be easy to write, because it was a happy occasion. As it turned out it stirred up many thought and emotions that made it more difficult. Nevertheless this will be a happy day, I have made up my mind.

Note-to-self: Never delete any pictures evermore, if you feel the need to remove them from your inventory box them up instead!

The Best Present

Well, you all know how it is, some presents are better than others and this one really made me warm inside!

...except I always hated Bloody Mary-drinks, maybe because they seem more like a meal than a drink to me.

Today Was Ars Rezday

October 25th, 2006, was the first day the avatar named Ars Northmead rezzed into SecondLife. Today would have been his fourth rezday.

As many of you already know Doug, the man behind the avatar, passed away on March 12th, 2010, after a battle with double pneumonia, so Ars will never again rez into SecondLife.

Ars was the most loving, caring and tender man I have ever known in any world. He was also among the most intelligent, warmhearted, creative, fiercely loyal, humorous, pig headed and stubborn men in both worlds. Hell I could throw all the positive adjectives in the dictionary at you, and some of the negative also - of course.  

But I am not impartial concerning Ars and never will be.

When I first came to SecondLife, I very soon received a few advances for partnering, setting up house together and what have you. People told me they loved me after an hour´s conversation, or four days acquaintanceship or - in the slow cases - three weeks.

I thought to myself, "What is wrong with these people? What the f**k are they talking about? I am never ever going there, they are crazy!" All that skepticism ended when I got to know Ars.

I remember the first time I noticed him, long before - well, a few months before - I ever dared speak to him personally. It was at the Devil Inside Club. The DI was at the time "the only" club to be for most of the gay men in SecondLife. I was shown to this club in the summer of 1997 by a friend named Drizz McMillan, who has since left SecondLife. 

Ars was wearing the cutest hat, which was what first caught my eye. After awhile I understood he was the DJ and I heard his voice and laughter - and I was charmed senseless.  

This was when my "Stalking Ars-period" started. I joined the "sarco sound group" and actually went to any and every set the DJ´s in that group ever played that were possible in my time zone. That finally ended when Ars and I started talking with each other. Then I was caught - forever. 

I have been rummaging through my overladen inventory for pictures of Ars. I found several hundred, here I would like to share a few with you all.