Visiting Mirromere

At the beginning of every month, for the last ten years, I go to Mirromere to visit with my late husband  Ars. Sometimes, my husband, Tomais comes with me, but mostly I am there alone.

"Satyr at Mirromere" by BMcM

Mirromere is a part of the Calas Galadhon Park, which consists of seven or eight regions. The park is owned, maintained and operated by Ty(mus) Tenk and his husband Truck Meredith. When Ars passed away in 2010 the men graciously offered to host the memorial service and a memorial place for two weeks I think it was, but my memories from that period. are unclear. 

Once the big memorial place was removed a smaller and beautiful place was made. Ars, and later on Dej, have the honor of having a plaque there among other friends of the guys.

P.S. Here is the SLurl to the memorial site at Mirromere.

Reminder: Memorial Gathering for Dej Today

The memorial gathering for Dej is today at 3 PM SLT. Here is your landmark to the gathering, Rosewood Manor (Dej's Place) SLurl.

Suggested clothing: Boardshorts/shorts and sandals/bare feet. (That was Dej's prefered clothing when he was entertaining at home.)

If you should not be able to attend today you can come there from now until August 31st, 2018. 

After that there will be a new memorial for Dej set up together with his brother Ars Northmead at another place on the sim.

Through the kindness of Ty Tenk and Truck Meredith, there will also be a memorial site for both of them at Mirromere sim at The Calas Galadhon Park sims.

Memorial for Dejerrity Mycron?

People have been asking me if there will be a memorial for my beloved brother Dej. 

There most certainly will be one! However, I will not host a memorial for my beloved brother without first knowing why, when or how he passed away. 

When I know more I will announce a memorial service, which will be held at his home on the Southern Charm sim. 

Please relay this information to anyone you know who also knew and loved Dej.

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I am also contacting Ty Tenk & Truck Meredith to possibly arrange for a plaque in Dej's memory at Mirromere, Calas Galadhon Park Sims. 

Ars In Memoriam 2014

Photography by Kent Hutchinson of KH Photo

Joseph Douglas Wilson Jr. a.k.a

Ars Northmead

★ April 21, 1953 (first life)
★ October 25, 2006 (SecondLife)
† March 12, 2010

On this day four years ago my beloved husband Ars passed away after a short illness.

Ars' brothers Dejerrity Mycron and Jeb Nicholls arranged a Memorial Service at Calas Galadhon where Truck Meredith and Tymus Tenk kindly let us use the homestead sim Mirromere for a week before, and their main sim for the big Memorial Service on March 20, 2010. Bora Rossini had created a beautiful setting for the memorial.

All of Ars' family and friends in SecondLife gathered there as well as Doug's parents, one of his sisters, his brothers and and even some of his nephews, nieces and cousins, who joined us in front of a computer screen using an avatar they had created.

I have asked for pictures from that memorial service earlier and this year I was happy to receive two from our friend elis Eun.

Photography by elis Eun

Photography by elis Eun

Although I never at the time thought that I would find love and true joy again, as it turns out life can work miracles and today I am happily married to my darling Tomais. I know that Ars would have wished this for me.

Catching up...

There is so much happening in my lives now, mostly the second, that I have a bit of catching up to do.

I have started a huge landscaping project to update Southern Charm while still keeping it beautiful. The creators and gardeners have been busy the last three years and there are so many better and more beautiful trees and plants on the market now. It is also something I firmly believe Ars and I would have done gradually if he had still been alive.

To my help in this project I have forcibly enrolled the assistance of my boyfriend Tomais, my son Guyke, my brother in-law Dej and my dear friend the intuitive, sublime and brilliant - yet amazingly humble - builder Butch. They - sometimes with the assistance of other friends - have guided me gently in this new world of seasonal trees and plants and other beautiful things that can be used in modern SecondLife landscaping. 

I started by clearing of the old "flat" trees and only kept the old pine trees for the time being. Then I returned a shitload of stuff to the original landscaper, the original sim owner, former tenants and a few strange visitors that had somehow managed to rez things where they should be able to. This freed up almost 3.000 more prims (or whatever the modern term for this may be these days), so that I now have close to 6.000 prims to work with.

Next thing was the waterfall running from under the house. It got a major facelift.

I have slowly started replanting with trees that can be changed to any season with a single click according to my whim. It is awesome! Of course I will need different kinds of trees to, but so far I am going about this slowly.

Next thing will be to change the sims ground textures to winter, and in time get the other seasonal ground textures also. There are things I want to keep relatively close to the original design so I am going forward slowly.

And when I am not working on the landscaping I take time to smooch with Tomais and go out with friends and family.

Yesterday I took Tomais to visit with Ars at Mirromere. I warned tomais beforehand that if Ars didn't like the idea of me having him around he would most likely be ejected from the sim or get electrocuted by his own computer. Ars had his ways and means of showing how he felt...

However, Tomais was quite safe and nothing bad happened during our visit, so I am choosing to take that as an encouragement from Ars and that he after screening Tomais has found him worthy.

Later last evening I and Tomais went sleighing and skating at Calas Galadhon with Guyke and Ziggy. Ziggy has posted beautiful pictures of that enchanted evening here Ziggy On The Edge Of Second Life: A Night To Remember

Visit to Mirromere

Today I went for a visit with my Ars. I had some things to think about and Mirromere has always been the place I feel closest to him. I had a good think through there and some things were settled in my mind.

Afterwards I took a walk around the beautiful sim and found a place I had never seen there before, high up in the tree tops, and just relaxed and enjoyed the wonderful view of Mirromere glowing in all its autumn colors.

Remembering Sterling

My brother in-law Dejerrity´s lover Sterling "Bobby" Hawks passed away on May 6, 2007. He was only 27 years old at the time.

Dej sent me this beautiful picture of his visit with Sterling at Mirromere on the sixth anniversary of that day.

Home Again

Today I ventured back into SecondLife again, for my first longer stay in a little while.

After first visiting with my Ars at Mirromere, I checked out Southern Charm to make sure everything was well. I needn't have worried of course, Dej had taken good care of the place and all of the animals were well fed and the plants that needed watering had been watered. Everything was as it should be. As I told Butch, it felt like coming home again.

At Mirromere

The beautiful Calas Galadhon Park sims are closed for a month due to remodeling, but as a member of the land-group I still have access. It was extremely lucky for me because I needed to be at Mirromere today. Although I have a part of the memorial for Ars erected on the home sim, the memorial spot at Mirromere is still the place I go to when I feel the need to be closer to him. Ty Tenk and Truck Meredith have promised to keep me informed of any major changes that may be necessary.

After spending some time there I was calm again and realized that, no matter what, I would always trust in what my Ars and I had and what he had told me.

With Ars and Butch

Today I visited with Ars at the Mirromere memorial site. Mirromere is one of the beautiful Calas Galadhon Park sims, owned and operated by partners Ty Tenk and Truck Meredith. I fell in love with the place when it hosted Ars memorial and have come back regularly ever since.

Today I invited my friend Butch Diavolo to join me there, because we needed to catch up on some things that had been going on in his first life, I had heard the first part earlier and wanted to get an update on recent events.

Butch came almost directly from a wedding where he had been the best man. He looked smashing and very stylish, except for the fact that he had taken the time to stop in at home and take off his shoes and socks before joining me. Well, he had washed his feet for the wedding so that was a small blessing.

We had a good talk and I was happy that things were looking promising although Butch convinced me that we should be patient and not take anything for granted yet. That man has a good, sensible  head on his broad shoulders.

Focus on the Real Things

When I was up awhile during the night I logged into my SecondLife and went to Mirromere for a visit and talk with my Ars.

I still love that place so much and it holds so many treasured memories for me. Although I have a memorial site for Ars on Southern Charm, this is the place I return to when I want to feel really close to him or when I need to think things through. Strange maybe, but nonetheless true.

When I am there, I connect with Ars and can think through stuff that has happened or that I have experienced and do not fully understand or simply don´t know how to handle. From time to time, I get a thought that has a "timbre" of Ars or simply hear him laughing.

Before I went to the party I had had a quick talk with my sister Millimina, she was logging off as I came in-world. There are many similarities between Ars and Millimina and many disparities too. The most striking similarities are their solid and grounded personalities, their wisdom and their care and love for me. I could/can always depend on them telling me the truth. After the conversation with Millimina I already had her input on a few of the things that were troubling me, but I still needed to digest them.

What was at the top of my mind was my worries for a friend who is possibly facing some bad news. There are no definite results yet and the verdict is not in, which is the biggest problem right now.

The waiting is always the worst part, and if it drags out we sort of end up in a state of limbo not knowing what to do or say. We just feel helpless and prepare our-self for the - inevitable - blow. Once we get "the news" we can rave, rant, cry and go on to handle the situation or pick up our pieces again with a sigh of relief that we have a minor ailment to take care of.

What we as friends and family can do is try to be there as much as we can and are allowed, listen more than we speak and sometimes try to remind our friends not to take the bad news for granted in advance. However, we have all been in more or less similar situations sometime and know that that is easier said than done...

The other situation was a trifle compared to the first one.

I have not been proud of my own demeanor during the past days. It is a situation I often find myself in somehow, where I take the bait that is thrown at me and revert to childish behavior. Since childhood and youth I have been thought not to let people trample over me and to stand up to bullies. "Hell, if I don´t do it, who will?" is the thought that strikes me and I run off on a rampage.

Try as I may, to follow the kind advice I get from friends and family to me and whose advice I value highly, I revert to this immature childlike behavior and find myself laying on the floor of the department store kicking, screaming and yelling to no avail. What I must realize and  come to terms with is that in taking their bait I accept the game they are playing.

Instead of doing that, I must remember the things I know to be true about myself and act accordingly.

I am not and have never been a bully, neither do I use suppression or domination techniques against anyone, especially not women. I must also remember what actually happened from my perspective and hold on to that however someone else tries to distort the events. I am not responsible for their version and have no obligation to rectify or clarify anything they say, it is a futile struggle anyway and will only entrench their position.

Only if and when I see somebody else get hurt do I have an obligation to act. The rest is nonsense and other people role-playing. I should stick to what matters, real things and real people.

"It´s time to grow up, Bock babe, now focus on what matters!" *deep roaring laughter*

Ars In Memoriam

Joseph Douglas Wilson Jr., in SecondLife better known as the avatar Ars Northmead, passed away peacefully on March 12, 2010, at 8.30 PM SLT. Doug died at hospital in Little Rock, Arkansas, of respiratory failure and complications due to double pneumonia.

In his first life Doug left behind parents, four siblings and their families. In SecondLife Ars left behind me, our son Guyke and Ars´s three brothers Andrey, Dejerrity and Jeb and very many friends. All of us miss him terribly in our lives.

Hey, my darling, I am back to sit and talk with you at Mirromere again. Somehow this is still where I feel closest to you, even if I know you are with me everywhere. The calmness of this place soothes me. 

Its strange really, today is two years since you passed away and sometimes it still feels like it was only two weeks ago. These two years have been rough, but I am doing much better now and am getting increasingly better as time lingers on. Nowadays I can even think of you, talk with you or about you without breaking up - most of the time. Other times are not so good, but those days are farther apart. 

I think a lot about our years together, babe, when I first saw you, when I first heard you laugh, when we first kissed, when we first made love on those damn pose balls that weren't adjusted to our sizes, when you first told me you loved me and I confessed that I had loved you for the longest time and had gotten to love you more every time we met.

I remember how we went looking for our new home together in secrecy. Not telling anyone what we were doing or why we were doing it. The many, many, places we saw before we came to Southern Charm and saw the house on the waterfall and both knew at once that this would have to be it. It felt like home from the start. 

We had many good times, my darling Ars, and they are good to think about now. We had some bad times also, babe, but they never, ever, made us doubt that what was good between us would hold whatever came in our way. I have never been happier than when I have been with you, my Ars, you always made me feel safe, you made me feel clever and you made me feel worthy of your love. 

Did I ever tell you that I sometimes seem to forget what that wild and crazy laughter of yours sounds like? But you always come through for me, and the next night or the night after that I hear it in my dreams and get all warm and fuzzy allover again. Yeah, yeah, we aren't religious any of us but still, that's what actually happens.

Oh Ars, did I tell you today? Yes I know that you know I love you, but did I actually speak it out. Somethings need to be said out loud and repeated as often as it suits you. So whether or not I already told you, I love you so much Ars baby, always and forever.

Bora Comes By

Bora Rossini came over for a visit today. We haven´t seen each other for some time, so it was good to talk about what had happened in our lives since the last time we talked and catch up with the others.

While Bora was there we also took the time to look at the memorial for Ars that Bora once very kindly made for me from the huge memorial that stood at Mirromere for a week. Bora cut it down to a quarter of its original size so that it fits perfectly on the parcel, without losing any of its beauty.

Mirromere Revisited

I always love to visit with my Ars at the memorial place on Mirromere in Calas Galadhon Park sims.

The calm of the place and the beauty that Tymus Tenk has worked so hard to achieve soothes any worried soul. It always makes me feel close to Ars and I always leave happy from my visits there.

Calas Galadhon utvidgas

Mina vänner Tymus Tenk och Truck Meredith som äger de underbara parksimarna under det gemensamma namnet "Calas Galadhon" berättar att de nu kommer att utvidga de sex existerande simarna med ytterligare två simar.

Som några av er kanske minns var det på en av de redan existerande simarna, "Mirromere", där det underbara tillfälliga minnesmärket till min älskade Ars fanns uppfört under en månads tid.

De två nya simarna heter "Armenlos" och "Misty Mountains".

På "Armenlos" har en annan av mina vänner Bora Rossini uppfört vackra byggnader i stil med de som finns på den grekiska ön Santorini. Alla lägenheter i staden har inretts av Truck.

På "Misty Mountains" har den fantastiske landskapskonstnären Tymus vidareutvecklat det underbara skogstemat från "Mirromere", men med en vildare natur.

De båda nya simarna ligger norr om "Mirromere". De kommer inte att öppnas för allmänheten förrän någon gång i mitten av juli 2010, men jag ger er SLurlen till Calas Galadhon redan här. Vissa av oss, inga namn nämnda, är inbjudna till invigningsceremonierna nu på lördag den 10 juli 2010.

Calas Galadhon drivs helt utan vinstsyfte. Det är det fritt och gratis tillträde överallt. Den som vill uppmuntras dock att stödja den amerikanska Cancerfonden (vid landningsplatsen). Tymus säger på deras egen hemsida: "Truck and I have always approached our work on Calas Galadhon as a 'gift' to our friends and SL family. A place where all can come, noob & seasoned veteran, feel safe and enjoy what the Park has to offer. No shopping, no tenants, just park. Truck and I make it a point to be available to our guests as much as possible ... to visit, help and be there to greet as we can."

Länk till Calas Galadhons hemsida, där ni bland annat kan läsa att det också går bra att gifta sig gratis i de vackra miljöerna som Tymus, Truck och Bora har skapat.

Foto: Tymus Tenk (tror jag)

Ars Memorial - tillfälligt

Det finns ett underbart - men tillfälligt - minnesmärke för min älskade Ars som jag vill dela med mig av.
Här har ni landningsmärket: Ars temporary Memorial at Mirromere. (Det finns några permanenta som jag kommer att berätta om senare)

Besök gärna detta minnesmärke snart, det försvinner på söndag!

Denna bild har den underbara Millimina Salamander tagit.

Jag vill tacka min Ars bröder Dejerrity Mycron och Jeb Nicholls för att de kom på den goda idén och sedan såg till att den förverkligades och även för allt deras stöd under denna hemska tid för oss alla tre.

Jag vill också tacka simägarna Truck Meredith och Tymus Tenk för att vi fick låna deras underbara homestead Mirromere för att uppföra minnesmärket och för all vänlighet och allt stöd under tiden. Jag vill dessutom redan nu tacka dem för att vi får låna deras intilligande sim Calas Galadhon för genomförandet av en minneshögtid för Ars nu på lördag 3 PM SLT (mer info med landningsmärke kommer snart).

Det gör mig oerhört stolt att berätta att Ars RL-systrar nu har skapat en avatar! Denna avatar kommer att vara närvarande vid minneshögtiden kommande lördag med Ars far och den ena av systrarna framför skärmen! 

Jag vill även tacka byggarna av minnesmärket Bora Rossini och Luckymen Moody för deras vision och genomförandet av den.

Slutligen vill jag tacka er alla - ingen nämnd och ingen glömd - för allt stöd under denna svåra tid. Ni har verkligen varit underbara. Särskild tacksamhet känner jag mot min och Ars son Guyke Lundquist, mina tålmodiga vänner Millimina Salamander och Zigadena Gabardini.