Ars In Memoriam 2018

Joseph Douglas Wilson Jr., in SecondLife also known as Ars Northmead,

★ April 21, 1953 (First life)
★ October 25, 2006 (SecondLife)

† March 12, 2010

"Ars Forever, Forever Ars"

Ars In Memoriam 2016

Joseph Douglas Wilson Jr., 

in SecondLife a.k.a Ars Northmead

★ April 21, 1953 (First life)

★ October 25, 2006 (SecondLife)

† March 12, 2010

Photo: Pencil variation of an original photo by Kent Hutchinson of KH Photography.

Ars Forever, Forever Ars!

Joseph Douglas Wilson Jr., 

a.k.a Ars Northmead

★ April 21, 1953 (first life)

★ October 25, 2006 (SecondLife)

† March 12, 2010

Five years have passed since that awful day when my lovely Ars died.

A long time afterwards I actually thought I would never recover from that experience, but - little by little and ever so slowly - I came back to life and finally I could love again. I do so without feeling any guilt and with the knowledge that my Ars would approve.

After all, a new love takes nothing away from an old love, nor does an old one take anything away from the new. Both my loves fill me with joy and happily coexist within my whole being.

Ars will live on as long as there are still people who remember him and love him and I am not planning on dying soon, neither are Guyke or Dej or any of the others who loved and were loved by him.

Photo by KH Photography

Ars In Memoriam 2014

Photography by Kent Hutchinson of KH Photo

Joseph Douglas Wilson Jr. a.k.a

Ars Northmead

★ April 21, 1953 (first life)
★ October 25, 2006 (SecondLife)
† March 12, 2010

On this day four years ago my beloved husband Ars passed away after a short illness.

Ars' brothers Dejerrity Mycron and Jeb Nicholls arranged a Memorial Service at Calas Galadhon where Truck Meredith and Tymus Tenk kindly let us use the homestead sim Mirromere for a week before, and their main sim for the big Memorial Service on March 20, 2010. Bora Rossini had created a beautiful setting for the memorial.

All of Ars' family and friends in SecondLife gathered there as well as Doug's parents, one of his sisters, his brothers and and even some of his nephews, nieces and cousins, who joined us in front of a computer screen using an avatar they had created.

I have asked for pictures from that memorial service earlier and this year I was happy to receive two from our friend elis Eun.

Photography by elis Eun

Photography by elis Eun

Although I never at the time thought that I would find love and true joy again, as it turns out life can work miracles and today I am happily married to my darling Tomais. I know that Ars would have wished this for me.

More Than Third Rezday...

My wonderful, sweet and awesome sister Millimina Salamander first rezzed into SecondLife on December 6, 2008, which means that she today celebrates her... Ugh, I am terrible with really high numbers so let's just say she is more than three years old from this days onwards.

Millimina, photography by Kent Hutchinson-Laurent

Without the love, support and encouragement of this delightfully crazy, marvelously bitchy and superbly humorous woman my life would be dismal. Millimina always (Always Millimina, and don't you forget it!) gives more energy than she takes to everyone around her, and to me more than to most others.

Happy more than third rezday, my darling sister! Love you always!

Selfie I, photography by Millimina Salamander

Selfie II, photography by Millimina Salamander

Millimina á la Bjork, photography by Kent Hutchinson-Laurent

In Loving Memory

Joseph Douglas Wilson Jr. 
★ April 21, 1953
† March 12, 2010

Ars Northmead

★ October 25, 2006
† March 12, 2010

My Lovely Ars

Ars Northmead (October 25, 2006 - March 12, 2010)

in first life also known as

J.D. "Doug" Wilson (April 21, 1953 - March 12, 2010)

in loving memory

For Christmas 2009 I gave my closest family members photo sessions with the renowned photographer Kent Hutchinson of KH Photography. 

Ars was the first to make an appointment with Kent and have his pictures taken. About a week later Kent invited us back to the studio to look at the proofs and to select which four pictures we wanted out of the 20 that were on display there. 

Ars, Millimina and I went to the studio together, I had butterflies in my stomach and was nervous that Ars would be disappointed with the results. I needn't have worried. Kent had done a splendid job in capturing the essence of my lovely Ars. After taking only one look at them all, I told Kent that we wanted all of them. Every single one.

Although Ars and I had been together for two years at the time and I loved him deeply, seeing the pictures - especially the one I am using in this post - made me fall in love with him all over again.

Millimina´s 4th Rezday

Believe it or not, but today is actually the fourth rezday of my wonderful younger sister Millimina Salamander. She rezzed into SecondLife on December 6, 2008. 

I am not quite sure when we met, but I know where it was. I was at a Bara Jonson gig when I suddenly got an instant message from an unknown woman. It was in Swedish so I understood she had read my profile. I cannot remember what she said or what we talked about, but I knew that I was in love, platonically of course because I had Ars waiting for me at home. 

Millimina by Kent Hutchinson (KH Photography)

After that day we have talked, cried, laughed and hugged constantly and I hope we will do so for many, many years to come still.

When I am old and Millimina is still ageless we have agreed that we will settle down together in a a villa in Tuscany, Italy. I have promised Millimina that she will have her own private chauffeur, a younger man of portuguese origin with a past as a professional football player. (And I mean real football, what the Americans call soccer.)

Grow old along with me!

The best is yet to be,

The last of life, for which the first was made.

Robert Browning (1812-1889)

Happy rezday my darling Millimina, love you always!

NOH8 Avatars 22

Dillon Rhiano, photo by Kent Hutchinson of KH Photography

For more information about the The NOH8 Campaign and how to join it in SecondLife please read my previous post The NOH8 Campaign in SecondLife. There you will also find instructions on where to find the necessary duct tape and cheek painting free of charge.
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If you would like to be a part of the NOH8 Campaign on this blog please send me your picture (fullperm), I will be happy to post it. Name the picture NOH8 and your avatar name and drop it on my profile or send it to my email lundamats@gmail.com.

NOH8 Avatars 21

Jorge Hutchinson, photo by Kent Hutchinson of KH Photography

For more information about the The NOH8 Campaign and how to join it in SecondLife please read my previous post The NOH8 Campaign in SecondLife. There you will also find instructions on where to find the necessary duct tape and cheek painting free of charge.
---

If you would like to be a part of the NOH8 Campaign on this blog please send me your picture (fullperm), I will be happy to post it. Name the picture NOH8 and your avatar name and drop it on my profile or send it to my email lundamats@gmail.com.

"I Am So Hot!", He Said

It is not easy to be a single parent - and a stepparent at that - to a young man in his zesentwintig weer (26+), when the hormones are carousing wildly in his veins.

The cuteness that is Guyke™
Photo by Kent Hutchinson of KH Photography

Yesterday when I was in Instant Messaging with my son he suddenly blurted out, "I am so hot! My beautiful tan skin is glistening with pearls of salty, sweet, sweat."

Red alert! Red alert! All the warning signals sounded off in my mind. "Uh oh, what is wrong", I thought to myself, "is he really making a pass at me? Better pretend you do not understand and play it down!"

"Well, yes of course you are hot! What do you expect with Ars´s genes running in your genetic makeup." ("Good one!", I thought this would remind him of his father and my relationship to him.) "Besides, I already know you are hot, I have know you for close to five years remember?"

Guyke started laughing at me, can you imagine? "I was talking about the temperatures in Belgium", he said, "We have had a really warm day."

Sighing with relief that it was a misunderstanding I laughed with him at myself and my paranoia.

The Laird´s Envoy Returns

Millimina, czarina of Solace Island and other distant territories
Photography by Kent Hutchinson/KH Photography

The McMillan Household sent an envoy to the Court of St James's to congratulate Queen Elizabeth II, constitutional monarch of the sixteen Commonwealth realms, head of the fifty-four members of the Commonwealth of Nations and head of state of the Crown Dependencies, at the celebration of her Diamond Jubilee.

The envoy was the younger sister of the Much Honored Bock McMillan, laird of Southern Charm and prince of Cascade Falls, the enchanting Millimina Salamander, czarina of Solace Island and other distant territories of the McMillan Household.

However the princess returned prematurely from London today with a case of "political flu". It is rumored that the dispute  between the McMillan Household and the Court of St James´s concerns the suggested seating arrangements at the festivities.

The laird would not comment on the diplomatic kerfuffle other than saying "We are very happy that our little sister is safely home again. Welcome back, Millimina!"

My Wedding Anniversary

Soon after I had logged into SecondLife on February 12, 2010, my beautiful Ars also logged in.

After we had said our hellos, he asked me to check my email. When I asked why, he told me "Just check it now, Bock!"

As I opened the mail a message popped up from SecondLife which read:

"Dear Bock McMillan,

You have received a Second Life partner proposal from Ars Northmead.

Please visit the link below to view the proposal:

https://secure-web39.secondlife.com/my/account/partners.php

This proposal will expire on Friday, February 19, 2010."

I was totally elated and hurried to go to the SecondLife website to accept the proposal. When I have done that I got the message "Congratulations Bock McMillan you have now entered into a partnership with Ars Northmead!"

I was both laughing and crying with joy when I came back to my Ars, because this had been a very surprising move on his part after more than two years together. Both of us had often declared a rather skeptical and dim view on SecondLife partnerships, after seeing some acquaintances going through a series of partnerships that never lasted for long. However, we both believed that with our long past together we would do a better job of it so we spent a very happy day together.

Not too long after this Ars went missing for a few days. I could not reach him either by e-mail or any of his phones. Those days were awful and I was very worried for him. When I finally got hold of him again it turned out that Ars´s father had found him in a very poor and weakened state and had taken him to the parents house so they could look after him.

Ars still had a fever and sounded very weak when I talked with him, but he told me he was going to the hospital for a check-up the next day. At the same time I talked with Ars sisters and they promised to keep me updated on Ars condition. 

The medical examination the next day showed that Ars had double pneumonia and was in a terribly weak state so the doctors admitted him for further care and treatment. Although the doctors were hopeful in the beginning this changed when complications set in and Ars passed away on March 12, 2010, exactly one month after we had been partnered.

About a fortnight after Ars had passed away I was asked (for the first time), "Do you think Ars married you because he knew he was going to die?" The question really surprised me because it hadn't even crossed my mind and was blurted out by someone not close to either of us. I just told the person "No! Please don´t talk to me ever again." 

However the question made me think if that could be the case. The following occasions I was asked the same question - in kinder ways and by people who mattered - I was better prepared. 

I have told those who asked, that I honestly do not believe that Ars knew he was even sick, let alone would be dead soon, when he proposed to me. After a few months of pain and agony due to a broken femur things had actually just started looking up for him again. He had signed up for a gym to get back in shape and we had also begun discussing some changes on the sim. At the time of the proposal Ars was happier again. More than anything I felt like I had passed some sort of test, by sticking with him and supporting him through the bad time that he had just gone through. 

We were happy together and no one will ever convince me of anything else. This was, is and will always remain a happy day for me!

The pictures of Ars in this post were taken in December 2009 by Kent Hutchinson of KH Photography.

Extreme Makeover

As a blogger I feel I must - at least sometimes - allow myself to be influenced by complaints from my readers.

Although I will always maintain that this is my blog and I bloody hell right what I want to as long as stay well within the scope of the blog providers rules, the Swedish law and normal human decency.

Today I received a complaint from another blogger that my blog header was way too blurry and she kindly offered me a sharper image. I rejected the proposal and decided to try a new look without reverting to black, so I landed on this transparent-grey-white beehive look.

As a blog header I chose a picture that SecondLife photographer Kent Hutchinson took. I am still in my "dead eyes" in the picture, but you will have to live with that. Hope you like it because I am sticking with it until December!

Nakna avatarer i SL 100

This spot in my project for art and peace in Second Life has - almost since the start - in my mind been reserved for a very special avatar in my Second Life, my late partner Ars Northmead.

In this post I will paste in the eulogy I gave at the second Ars Memorial Service on March 20th, 2010, at the beautiful Calas Galadhon sim. Tymus Tenk and Truck Meredith, the owners of that sim, had kindly allowed us to have the second memorial service for Ars there.

You must remember this eulogy was given only eight days after Ars passing away, so please excuse any flaws. There is so much I now want to add and edit, but I will refrain from doing so.

"I followed my Ars for two and a half years. He was the fixed point around which my SL-life revolved and it spilled over into both our real lives too.

Ars was a hard working man. I can hardly remember a time when he was not working. Either he was a DJ himself or managing DJs, building/creating beautiful things or amazing sets for parties or just gardening and decorating at home or teaching me or someone else something.

Ars always loved sharing what he had learned with others and he was the most patient teacher.

Ars was the most wise, loving, gentle and kindhearted man I have ever known. He was always there for me without fail, whenever I needed him no matter how busy he was.

The greatest confirmation of our love will always be the fact that, when he got seriously ill, Ars told his RL family about me. That enabled us to keep communicating until close to the very end. For that alone I will be eternally grateful to Ars.

The ease with which his family accepted the fact that Ars had a partner in cyberspace will always amaze me. The warmth, care and consideration his family has shown me since is a huge support for me at this sad point in my life.

I am so happy that Ars parents, sister and brothers and the rest of his RL family are with us today, as we commemorate his life with us in Second Life.

Earning Ars love was my greatest achievement and loving him was my greatest reward. I am so proud and grateful to have loved and been loved by a man like him.

Ars was in our lives for too short a time. But in our hearts he will be - Forever Ars."

These pictures were taken by Kent Hutchinson of KH Photography about two months before Ars passed away. They show you my beautiful man in some of the best pictures ever taken of him.

When I first saw the pictures, I fell in love with Ars all over again - even if it never really was the looks of his avatar that I loved. It was the man behind the avatar that caught my mind and heart and forever held me captive.

Some people tell me that you cannot really love someone whom you have never met in real life. Once and for all I would like to tell them: "Stuff it, I know what I feel for Doug and I know what Doug felt for me. Don´t ever dare tell me it was not real love!"

Jadå, ni är fortfarande välkomna att skicka era bidrag till mig antingen inworld eller till min mejl lundamats@gmail.com

Yes, you are still welcome to send your contributions to me either inworld or to my mail lundamats@gmail.com

Nakna avatarer i SL 1

Idag börjar jag min serie: ”Nakna avatarer i SL”. Med tanke på gårdagens händelser på Haven - går jag hårt ut och lägger upp en bild på mig själv...

Jag ser fram emot att få publicera fler smakfulla bilder på er andra framöver!

Foto: Kent Hutchinson, KH Photography
SLurl: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Pocasset/47/58/690

Min älskade Ars!

Jag skickade iväg min Ars till SL-fotografen Kent Hutchinson. Idag fick jag detta smakprov...

Visst är han vacker min älskling? Jag längtar redan ihjäl mig efter resten av bilderna...

Foto: Kent Hutchinson, KH Photography
SLurl: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Pocasset/47/58/690


P.S Jag skickade också två vänner till Kent och har fått se deras bilder. De var underbara!