Friday, December 9, 2011

My Day In Hibernation

I took this day off because it´s been a rough fortnight in both my first and second lives. I have been dealing with a lot in my mind and finally I felt like I reached a point of "sensory and mental overload".

I needed to shut down "the brain-machine" and do a reboot to let the dust settle in my mind and get a fresh look on things. The excuse I used to myself and others was that I needed to go out and buy Christmas presents, which sounds acceptable because of the time of the year.

The alarm was set to wake me up at 9 AM this morning and I got out of bed and turned on the computer to read my mail. There were two of interest, from two of the living people that I love the most in real life and SecondLife, although I was really happy to receive them and for the good news they contained, I found myself lacking in energy to respond directly. Two hours later I went back to bed and lay there sleeping (mostly) or thinking, avoiding the cold, the darkness and the storm brewing outside. Finally I woke up at 9 PM and got out of bed and made coffee.

Sometimes I earnestly wish that I could change my personality as easily as I change skin, shape, hair and eyes in SecondLife. I wish I could stay calm, cool and collected at all times and wasn't prone to follow my passions  I wish my parents, my school and my mentors in life had taught me, that I do not need to share my opinion on every matter I feel strongly about or that I do not always have to react when I see what I perceive as injustices. The world can do well enough with out my opinionated rantings.

After the first two cups of coffee I realized my thoughts were futile, it is not possible - yet - to change your personality in a radical way when one is close to 42 years old. I must do the best I can with what I have and follow my path. What I can do is perhaps to be clearer about why I do and say things and hopefully make it clear to everyone that my intentions - mostly - are good and honest.

Enough of being self centered, tomorrow is another day! Christmas presents, Christmas cards and the Saint Lucio Walk of Sha.. ummm, ummm Honor at the Swedish Embassy in SecondLife on December 13th are on my to do list for the weekend.

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