Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Guys Talking About Guys

Just before I was going to drop out to first life yesterday my beautiful brother in-law Dej logged in. I joined him for a short chat about life and men while we watched the sunset on Southern Charm.

Two men who love men talking about other men, who may or may not love men, is sometimes a bit confusing but fabulously profound and wickedly insightful, as it has the added value of us being men ourselves.

During our talk Dej told me he had read a comment on my blog that he didn't like and that he thought the guy who had written it could never have lost anyone he loved. When I told him that I did not remember the comment he was referring to, but that I believed that the man had told me that he had actually lost a love in his life. Dej snorted disparagingly, "Men, they lie more than they shower!"

Dej's comment made me laugh out loud, both because it surprised me and because it carried an element of truth. We have all met them, these men who rather than tell us the unadorned truth by some inner need are driven to embellish their stories in a completely unnecessary way.

One of these men is my own father, whom I love dearly and who never tell lies to people close to him because he knows we will spot it immediately. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard him go into a song and dance routine with a complete stranger or a salesperson at the door or in a shop somewhere rather than simply saying "No!" to them. When I have asked him about this strange and rather uncharacteristic habit of his - several times - he just shrugs and says "I wanted to give them an explanation, just to be polite or kind."

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