Thursday, February 4, 2016

EXCLUSIVE: Confessions of A Cheater

It was recently revealed that there has been a widespread use of so called "Auto Poke Back"-scripts on the social media site Facebook.

The scandal erupted just a few days ago when one of the cheaters confessed his deceitful and perfidious behavior on his timeline.

According to the confession this European of noble descent, has installed an extension available for Google Chrome in his browser and had minimized the web page but forgot to close it properly when he went to sleep. This meant that his friends and acquaintances on Facebook got poked throughout the night and the next day, until he got home from work in the evening.

It seems he understood what had occurred when he received a large amount of messages concerning his poking.

This blogs intrepid reporter has tracked down the culprit and with great finesse and tenacity succeeded in persuading him to agree to this exclusive interview. The only conditions made was that neither his name or his hereditary or acquired titles should be mentioned. We have therefore decided to - for the purpose of this interview only - call him Lord X.
Lord X at his summer mansion
Photography by Tomais Ashdene
Bock in SecondLife (BiSL): "Thank you so much for giving us this interview Lord X."

Lord X: "Well, it wasn't as if I had much of a choice was it? You have been badgering me incessantly and sticking to me like dogshit under my shoe."

BiSL: "Now, now... It cannot really have been as bad as that!"

Lord X: "Yeah, I am sure you wouldn't think so, but I am giving you this interview just to be able to take a crap in peace without getting a microphone stuck under my nose through the window of the bathroom or getting woken up in the middle of the night by you crawling out from under my bed and sticking the same bloody microphone in my face... I think my assessment is fairly accurate. Could we move on? Your five minutes will be up soon!"

BiSL: "Hmmm OK, lets agree to disagree on my use of legitimate tenacity to get this shocking news out to our readers. Hmmmm so, please tell us why you took the shameful step of using the cheating "Auto Poke Back"-script?"

Lord X: "Are you serious? We are talking about a mind blowingly silly game on a lousy social media site. Aren't you really blowing this thing completely out of all reasonable proportions?"

BiSL: "I believe it would be more suitable to show some humility in the face of the anxiety and uproar you have created among your friends. As we understand it some of them are extremely hurt by your actions, even to the point where they are receiving treatment for PTSD."

Lord X: "It's effing unbelievable! I have too many friends and acquaintances to poke manually so I got the poke-ma-call-it to share the love without spending 20 hours a day on poking on Facebook. This is insane!"

BiSL: "You seem to be totally unrepentant concerning your cheating and the hurt you've caused your sweet and loving friends...?"

Lord X: "Yeah, actually I am if they truly have reacted the way you describe it, I don't want anything to do with them ever again. I hope they drop me as friends on Facebook! Now, your five minutes are up, get your sniveling ass out of here before I ask my guards to throw you in the sea..."

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This recording of the interview was dropped in our email today from an unknown source. We have not yet learned of the whereabouts of our reporter, he has been reported as a missing avatar to the SLPD (SecondLife Police Department.)

7 comments :

  1. uhum. i'm actually happy i went to bed myself and never noticed the nightshift on your poking dear. huggss

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  2. LMAO ..rolling with laughter...Hello? Why wasn't I a victim of this poking thing?????

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  3. I'm not sure that the idea of being poked repeatedly by a script is as terrible an idea in the Second Life context as your detractors seem to think. I hear it happens all the time and many people actually enjoy it. ;-)

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  4. I only return pokes 2 times a year so poke away.

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  5. O.M.G. The Betrayal. And after all those IMs saying "Garreett Dahhhhling, you did not poke me back, is there a problem? You think of a suitable response while I take a smoke break (cough)" OMG.

    ReplyDelete

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