Sometimes I Miss Him More

After a long struggle I think I can now safely say that I have finally come to accept the fact that my Ars is no longer with me. And that he will never come back to me.

Please don´t get me wrong, I still think of him several times a day, but happy thoughts when I see things he made to make my SecondLife easier or more beautiful. Like when he ripped the stairs out of our house and installed a system of teleportation instead because I have always had a hard time with stairs, still have. "Actions not words!", huh?

On those occasions that I flew off the handle about something or other that had occurred or that I was interested in doing - not at all few occasions I can assure you - he was the best at talking me down and talk things through before acting. Delaying me, was what I called it but didn't really mean that because in hindsight I could see the necessity. How some people could choose to give me the nickname "the most patient man in all of SL" is way over my head.


And I still miss him badly, but sometimes I just miss him more. Like these last few days; I have so missed having him to share my thoughts with and my reactions to what is going on around me. Ars and I were almost constantly in communication with each other, with the possible exception during his sets when we only talked if he wanted it. Otherwise we talked all the time and everywhere, even when we were not in the same place.

Ars calmed me, he made me think rationally and not just do and go or try anything on a whim. He respected me enough to hear me out and I did the same for him in those few, very occasions that he needed it. So sometimes I do miss him desperately, even though I have succeeded in gathering sweet people around me who try hard to fulfill his role for me. I will forever be in their gratitude, but it´s still not the same.