Thursday, March 24, 2016

"Republicans May Vote For Bock", Laird Says

If you ever needed final proof that The Much Honored Bock McMillan, laird of Southern Charm etc. etc, is a softy, you got it today when the Laird's Household released the following statement. 
"My heart goes out to my Republican friends in the United States of America as they must choose a presidential candidate  among the bigoted, neo-fascist and despicable losers that have offered their names for consideration. They face the choice between pestilence and cholera, and there is no lesser evil among them.
After much contemplation and soul searching I have come to the firmly held belief that I must act to give the G.O.P. a reasonable and sane candidate at the upcoming convention. 
Although I do not share the usual Republican belief that economical issues and taxes are more important than human rights, I still feel they need to offer ya'll a better lineup to choose from.
Here are my positions on a couple of the issues in this year's political conversation. 

I am for
  • equal rights and opportunities for all human beings
  • a separation of state and church (incl. the removal of references to God on money)
  • a woman's right to choose anything that concerns her body
  • universal and comprehensive health care and expanding the ACA further
  • very strict gun control
  • same-sex marriage and adoptions
  • a photo ID being required to vote
  • continued government funding of Planned Parenthood
  • health control providers being required to offer free birth control 
  • requiring that businesses have both women and men on their board of directors
  • the military allowing both women and men to serve in combat roles 
  • legalization of marijuana
  • raising the debt ceiling
  • raising the minimum wage
  • businesses being required to provide paid maternity leave for full-time employees
  • trade unions
  • affirmative actions
  • increased government environmental regulations to prevent global warming
  • the U.S. remaining in the United Nations
  • declaring war on ISIS
  • increased foreign aid spending
  • government funding of stem cell research

I am against
  • the death penalty
  • secular business being able to deny service due to their religious beliefs
  • states displaying the racist Confederate flag on government property
  • cuts in public spending to reduce national debt
  • juveniles being sent to prison and the use of solitary confinement for them

I believe in 
  • the theory of evolution
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To avoid any "birther issues", please let me refer you to Second Life, who can attest to the fact that Bock McMillan was born on March 11th, 1997, on a server placed in California, U.S.A. I am therefore a "natural born citizen" of the United States of America. 
I offer my name with pride and confidence that you will do that right thing! Now the ball is in your court. It's easy peasy, just write me in next time you vote!

Yours always,
Bock McMillan
Laird of Southern Charm etc. etc. 

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