Thinking of Funerals

I have never been asked not to attend someone's funeral. I wonder how ashamed I will be if that ever happened.

— Bock McMillan™ (@BockMcMillan) September 2, 2018

On Funerals

Today I am thinking about funerals.

This is because I read about Mrs. Barbara Bush's funeral today and how the current president Donald J Trump had been asked please not to attend which made me think about this quote from Yogi Berra*: "Always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't go to yours." 

I hope there will be droves and droves of people at my funeral and that no one will have to be asked not to attend. There is nothing quite as sad as a funeral with very few people.

*) Lawrence Peter "Yogi" Berra (May 12, 1925 – September 22, 2015) was an American professional baseball catcher for the New York Yankees.

P.S. "Food, serve them good food and drink and they will come!", I thought. So now I am going to set aside a good sized amount in my will for food and alcohol for the funeral lunch. 

Sudden Cardiac Arrest

The cause of death that will appear on my dad's death certificate will be "Sudden Cardiac Arrest".

There are several possible reasons for SDA, Whatever the reason may have been in my dad's case will remain unknown as the doctor has kindly decided to follow the request of my mothers, my sister and myself, not to perform an autopsy.

We have spent time together in the immediate family and have tried to focus on the immediate practical issues that a death causes. Everyone who should be informed, has been informed. We have also made an appointment with the undertaker designated by my father and are to meet with him on Sunday to go through the practical arrangements of the funeral in accordance with my fathers wishes.

Dad has left exact instructions about how he wanted things to be done and they will be followed to the letter. He wanted to be cremated and then placed in a memorial grove without any ceremonies, songs or speeches. 

As I understand it the family is never allowed to be present when the mortal remains are placed in a memorial grove so as not to know the exact spot. We have decided as a family, despite some initial objections by my mother, that we can live with that arrangement.

My mother is restless and has - like me - not been able to process the event fully yet, but both of us will get there in time. I am not going to try to force it anymore. What will be, will be.

One thing I have learned these past days, is how helpful and calming it is for the immediate family that the deceased has left clear instructions concerning their wishes. Whenever a question has arisen concerning something, we have gone to my fathers documents and found the answer there.

I have promised myself that I am going to start jotting down my own wishes in the event that something happens, both concerning burial arrangements and everything else that my survivors may need, including a letter to Linden Lab with a will concerning my wishes regarding my SecondLife "assets". One never knows when death strikes and we cannot always delay until we feel it is upon us.