I do indeed have flaws, weaknesses and some really ugly habits. Nevertheless, over the course of my life, I have also come to realize that I do have some pretty amazing qualities also. I have an inordinate capacity to love and care for people as they they are and without a need to change them. I am also fiercely loyal to those I love and care about. Although I sometimes joke about my lack of patience, I am - much to my own surprise - still one of the most patient men I know.
Most importantly, I have an uncanny ability for picking good men for myself. I don't mean to say that there are not other good men out there, but that the men I select as my mates are good for me, they complete me and are worthy of my trust. They understand me, see me for what I am and support me when I need it and otherwise let me loose. They can laugh with me and at me (in a way that isn't hurtful) and they make me laugh at myself too. (My "ability" may of course also be just dumb luck, but I do not like to see it that way.)
I am not an easy man to live with, but neither was my Ars or is my Tomais, I am certain that the two partners I have had in my SecondLife, would have respected and loved each other if they had met.
Although I am a man who believes in the importance of words and what people say and how they choose to express themselves, because there is always a choice, my two men bring into the mix the firm belief that words alone are meaningless. Words must be followed up and proven by actions. Ars always said "Actions speak louder than words" and Tomais lives by that rule.
There is a point when telling someone "I love you" and "I am sorry" is not enough anymore, they become empty air, mere flatulence. What one says has to be manifested in action. We are always responsible for our actions, however bad we feel at the time. The word "sorry" needs to be followed by change. Saying the word while repeating the same actions doesn't mean that you can force - or are entitled to - someones forgiveness. They decide if you should or if they want to forgive you, it's not for you to decide.
My promise to Tomais today is that when we are together I will no longer allow others to pull me into their tantrums. I am expecting that you will need to remind me of these words in the beginning, my love, but please never hesitate to do so. You are more important to me than anyone or anything else. Know that!
