"Look, I'm not a hateful person or anything—I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I've been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.
Take last Sunday, for instance, when I casually struck up a conversation with this guy in the health-club locker room. Nothing fruity, just a couple of fellas talking about their workout routines while enjoying a nice hot shower. The guy looked like a real man's man, too—big biceps, meaty thighs, thick neck. He didn't seem the least bit gay. At least not until he started sucking my cock, that is."
Read the full commentary by Bruce Heffernan at The Onion: Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?
I love satire and this commentary was extremely funny showing the point of view of an "innocent" closet case. Oh, please let me clarify, I am not one of those gay men who believes that every straight man is just three beer bottles from a gay encounter. That's just wishful thinking by some of my gay friends and/or enemies.
