Self Rape?

Rape is defined differently in various countries but I should think all of the legal definitions would contain the following necessary conditions sexual activity/sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury, or against the will of a person, or with a person who is beneath a certain age, or in other ways incapable of valid consent.

I'm not sure if this is a joke or sarcasm, someone told me it could be... (I've always have difficulty with sarcasm as I usually take things too literally. I know, I know, so spank me would'ya!)

To equate masturbation to rape is to give a false or misleading meaning to the nature of both masturbation and of rape. How insane anyone must be to even compare the two actions is beyond me.

I just saw that there is actually a Facebook group for this cause, Christian Mothers Against Masturbation/Self-Rape.

Oh my, I may just give up breathing in the face of all the silliness in the world we live in. And then there are Trump, Putin and al-Assad on top of it all. Well, all I can say is that I have always given consent, enthusiastically I might add, every time I have played with myself.

Bock & Urinals

I had no problems with urinals whatsoever until the summer when I was 22 years old. Up until then I thought of it as extremely convenient fixture. You go in, take a broad manly stance in front of the fixture (so as not to cramp the flow), pull down your zipper, haul out your tackle and just let it flow.

However, the summer I was 22 I was out backpacking through Europe for a month. On the evening before the last day of the trip I was at "Gare du Nord" in Paris and was going to take the night train to Copenhagen.

While waiting to board the train, I felt an insistent need to relieve myself and knew I wouldn't be able to wait until I got on the train, so I went looking for a restroom.

I soon found a huge "Gentlemen's" in the cellar of the railway station. The first part of the room consisted of two lines of 15 urinals on the opposing walls. Almost all the slots were filled, except one almost at the end to the right, so I went there and started doing my business.

Just as I had started, I felt a nudge on my right shoulder from the man standing next to me. I looked at him, wondering what he wanted. He looked me in the eyes, then looked downwards. As I followed his gaze I saw that he was masturbating. Not only that, but all the other occupants were also erect and playing with themselves and looking towards me. Not only that, but as I looked over my shoulder I noticed that the row of men behind us were also jacking off and looking at me.

To this day I'm not sure why, but my external urethral sphincter - which supposedly controls the voluntary peeing - immediately cramped shut and my body started shaking as I felt more than 25 men looking lustfully at me.

Although I was gay, by no means a virgin and in my best shape ever, 5'8" (172 cm), 132 lb (60 kg) and fit, my mind started screaming "Danger! Danger! Get your ass out of this place - NOW!"

Maybe I thought I was going to get gang-raped or otherwise molested, but whatever I rushed out of there, without even tucking in before. I did that outside the room, luckily before anyone had seen anything.

Anyway, since that evening I am not able to use the bloody contraptions without getting feelings of panic and my sphincter shutting off, except when I am very, very drunk or very certain that I will be alone.

A New Swedish Word

Now the Swedish language has its own word for female masturbation. The Swedish Association for Sexuality Education (RFSU) at its congress has decided on the new word "klittra".

"The Venus of Urbino" by Titian (1538)

"Putting words on women's masturbation gives us the opportunity to talk about sexuality in a simple and less clinical manner" writes Frida Zellinger on the organization's blog.

In November 2014 RFSU announced a competition to find the best word for female masturbation. After first choosing the 40 top favorite words or expressions, the Swedish people voted for their favorites and klittra got 30 percent of the votes.