Friday, January 30, 2015

Sudden Cardiac Arrest

The cause of death that will appear on my dad's death certificate will be "Sudden Cardiac Arrest".

There are several possible reasons for SDA, Whatever the reason may have been in my dad's case will remain unknown as the doctor has kindly decided to follow the request of my mothers, my sister and myself, not to perform an autopsy.

We have spent time together in the immediate family and have tried to focus on the immediate practical issues that a death causes. Everyone who should be informed, has been informed. We have also made an appointment with the undertaker designated by my father and are to meet with him on Sunday to go through the practical arrangements of the funeral in accordance with my fathers wishes.

Dad has left exact instructions about how he wanted things to be done and they will be followed to the letter. He wanted to be cremated and then placed in a memorial grove without any ceremonies, songs or speeches. 

As I understand it the family is never allowed to be present when the mortal remains are placed in a memorial grove so as not to know the exact spot. We have decided as a family, despite some initial objections by my mother, that we can live with that arrangement.

My mother is restless and has - like me - not been able to process the event fully yet, but both of us will get there in time. I am not going to try to force it anymore. What will be, will be.

One thing I have learned these past days, is how helpful and calming it is for the immediate family that the deceased has left clear instructions concerning their wishes. Whenever a question has arisen concerning something, we have gone to my fathers documents and found the answer there.

I have promised myself that I am going to start jotting down my own wishes in the event that something happens, both concerning burial arrangements and everything else that my survivors may need, including a letter to Linden Lab with a will concerning my wishes regarding my SecondLife "assets". One never knows when death strikes and we cannot always delay until we feel it is upon us.

13 comments :

  1. Thinking of you and your family here Bockilein <3

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  2. Your thoughts on leaving instructions are very wise. When my late mother died, I had much the same response as you - a feeling of numbness through which I was forced to make all sorts of decisions as my mother had left no instructions. By leaving such a letter or even arranging some things in advance, i think you can lift a burden from your loved ones which may help them during the almost surreal emotional time at the beginning of the grieving process. My thoughts continue to be with you Bock.

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  3. Have you and your family in my thoughts. Nice article and makes me think that maybe I should do the same.

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  4. Thinking about you Bock. Big hugs from me!

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  5. Benja and I are thinking of you and your family Bock. Our thoughts are with you, and a big hug from us.

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  6. I'm sorry for your family's loss, but glad that you have found a way to help yourself and others as a result. That is one bright light at such a sad time. I've left instructions with my sister for the disposal of my Second Life affairs. Thanks for leading the way.

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  7. I'm glad you're getting through the best one can, and that you're being kinder to yourself.

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  8. Sorry for your loss Bock. It's good to hear that your family has had precise instructions to follow, with no agonizing decisions to add to your grief.

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  9. Thank you again, all sweet friends, for your kind words and concerns. Hugs

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  10. I'm sorry for your loss, Bock. My thoughts are with you. Hugs from Ricco

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  11. Replies
    1. Tack för den vänliga omtanken, Vanadis!

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