Showing posts with label Harry Gruyaert. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Harry Gruyaert. Show all posts

Monday, November 26, 2012

Feeling Tranquil

For some time I have been wondering how my life in SecondLife suddenly got so tranquil.

I have always detested the word "harmony" and the Pleasantville-ishness that I associate with it. To me it has always appeared like Potemkin villages, false scenery made to impress and cover up the truth. "Let us all just be friends forever and no matter what".

What happened or what did I change in my life? Previously I used to get involved in some drama or other on an almost daily basis, while I nowadays almost never get so totally pissed of as I once used to be.
Photographer Harry Gruyaert, Beach of the town of Fort Mahon. (1991
First I thought the reason could be that I was getting older, wiser and more jaded, but then I had a few fits over some silly things and I realized that was not it. 

The next thing I thought of was that my antidepressants were dulling my senses to such a degree that I became unmoved or insensitive, but that was not it either. Although it seems the medication have contracted the spectrum of my emotions somewhat by cutting off the highs and lows there is still enough range to allow variation. 

Then I thought of the people I associated with by choice, but they are basically the same crowd as before so that wasn't it either.

Finally I have reached the conclusion that my tranquillity had come to me when I dropped out of a certain group in SecondLife that I was a member of for a very long time. I left the group after an altercation with the group owner and with some regret at first, because I had met many of my best friends among my countrymen through it. However, the group had a lot of discord in it,.Backstabbings, whispers in instant messages and constant misunderstandings were rampant and lead to more or less a state of armed peace where every sentence was scrutinized and often taken out of context to cause havoc in the group. It was one of the best decisions I made to join the group, but it was an even better one to leave it when I did.

I do not miss it so much anymore, because the people who liked me still contact me and I contact the people I like with the added benefit that I do not have to deal with the haters and creators of discord. The people I do not choose are out of my life.