Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The King Speaks

His Majesty Carl XVI Gustaf, King of Sweden, has been making headlines recently for entertaining bare-chested "coffee-girls" at strip clubs and for having close friends who don´t know better than to contact organized crime to try to get hold of the pictures that supposedly exist.

Well yesterday the king finally deigned to let himself be interviewed on the issues by the largest news agency in Sweden. What he said was in essence “I know nothing – and there aren't any pictures to prove it anyway…”

That statement kind of reminds me of the Spanish waiter Manuel, in John Cleese´s old sitcom “Fawlty Towers”. Manuel was constantly running around saying “I know nothing!” in a terribly charming but stupid way.

The king of Sweden has no real power within Sweden itself. He is mostly a decorative and ceremonial adornment to the otherwise parliamentary democracy that is the rule of our nation. However by public international law he still retains certain powers given to any head of state that cannot be removed by national law. 

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According to my personal ethics infidelity is a total breach of the trust that is the foundation of any true marriage or partnership, but I certainly know better than to impose my own ethics on other peoples relationships. After all the sexologists tell us that more than 50 percent of the men and close to 50 percent of the women commit adultery. 

I do not really give a damn if the king has extramarital affairs or looks at the boobies of women young enough to be his own daughters. What I do expect though is that he handles his business discreetly and doesn't expose himself to the possibility of being blackmailed; we pay him well enough for doing just that.

What I most assuredly also expect from my head of state is that he chooses his mistresses with good judgment so that they aren't publicity-craving C-list celebrities and to find close friends among people with enough good judgment not to seek out criminals to try to cover up for him.

After the kings statement yesterday I think we may expect the press scuffling to try to get their hand on the "non-existent" pictures.

9 comments :

  1. oh wow the king is a human and male... go figure;)
    there are some "journalists" in this country that have a mission to ruin the kings life in what ever method they can...i dont believe half of it and the other half isnt even recent...
    and to them i say LEAVE MY KING ALONE!!
    /vampi royalist

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  2. Can not believe they got a new king when they deposed Gustav IV Adolf. Sweden would have been a republic already 1809.

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  3. The King certainly has hot guards outside his Palace in Gamla Stan who can do a nice porn movie or two! In fact the title of the flick can be "Discipline, Swedish Style". I think your entire country is kinda kinky actually :).

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  4. Haha and I know exactly whom to cast with the guards. Better start packing your bags, Eddi, you are coming to Sweden!

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  5. -The journalists' fault.... as rainy weather, earthquake, skin conditions. .... blame the messenger.

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  6. I do not understand your comment, Vanadis, where and how did I "blame the messenger" for anything in this?

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  7. -Inte du Bock, allt är inte ditt fel! -Du gör mycket bra och viktigt också. -Det är ärkeroyalisten Vampis kommentar som jag har invändningar emot.
    Själv skriver jag så lite jag kan om kungahuset, ju mindre reklam de får dess mindre skäl att ha dem kvar.

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  8. Some of us are monarchist and others are republicans, Vanadis, but all of us can do without the name calling.

    I was hesitant whether or not to publish this comment, Vanadis, because of your use of the slur "arch-rojalist". But then I thought "Oh well, I am sure Vampi can stand her own ground so what the hell..."

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  9. Do you feel "arch-Royalist" as pejorative? Feels more like an amplification word as "giant-". -It´s our way of speaking on the west coast and we must all live with it.

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