We must never ever let the bullies succeed in their efforts, fight them at every instance. Don´t let them think they are getting away with what they are doing unnoticed, call them out for what they are.
Apart from being a friend of mine, Doc is also the Chairman of the board for Second Pride 2011.
Dear Bock, I would like you to contemplate a little more about bullying, what you are saying about others and even about your self. When you judge other people like you do, for instance on Gittrikas blog (Sl Gittrikas liv och vardag), you also define your self. And the strategies of power that you use to some people are very old school, jurrasic even. Considering your previous posts on bullying it would be nice to see a post from you on your own blog on how you define the behaviour of the avatar that got banned from Gittrikas event and the reactions of the people who were actually there. The avatar actually got the ban for being abusive at an event not for being a blogger. And I say in your own blog so that your non swedish readers can get a picture of what`s going on too. Its also interesting that you always use other blogs to attack or defend others to keep your own blog out of the mess(another strategy?). I think you are a great person Bock, but the everlasting conflict in the swedish community steals the best out of all of us , especially the innocent people you define as haters. You play a large role in this conflict and you know it. Im not on sl as much as most people involved in the mess but i find it sad that events, innocent people and newbies always gets in the line of fire. And since you have a foot in each camp perhaps its time to go creative instead of defensive or offensive. I´m willing to help out in any way i can to get this mess cleaned out once and for all.
ReplyDeleteAll my best//
Chaplin Early
Dear Chaplin,
ReplyDeleteI am grateful for your comment but - as you perhaps may have foreseen - I do not share your evaluation that I am judging or bullying others and that by speaking out about it I am becoming a bully myself.
I firmly believe in being straightforward and not mincing words. Using language and words to express my points of view and opinions in different matters is actually a big part of my occupation. Words are the tools of my trade.. I am therefore capable to express exactly what I wish to say in a given situation, not more nor less. If that is considered a strategy of power I cannot help it.
I do know that I come off as pompous sometimes, but that is a bi-product of my education and trade also. However, I have never made claims to be a novelist just a blogger.
I did not avoid writing about the Apmel-incident on my blog, I just haven´t gotten to it yet. There are other things happening in my first life that take priority at the moment.
Your opinion that I attack others is a complete mystery that I would need you to give me examples of, because I cannot remember attacking others. I have questioned what they have done or what they have said and given them a piece of my mind, but I cannot remember being abusive in any way. Actually I feel I have made great efforts not to not be abusive.
I am sorry to see that you think I only use other blogs to share my thoughts on the bullying going on among the Swedes in SecondLife. In a quick search I found these nineteen posts on my blog centered on bullying or hatred or referring to the Swedish drama, I believe there are more. I will list them separately in the next comment because they don’t seem to fit into this
A little more than a year ago I decided that “enough is enough” and that I would no longer silently observe the harassment and bullying going on. I also decided that I would only write about what I had witnessed myself or had other solid proof of, for example what people themselves had written on their blogs or in comments. If the bullying mob feels hurt by me pointing out and bringing to attention what they are doing or saying, I am not at all sorry.
In my opinion the bullying is centered on five hateful persons and their followers with grudges - for whatever reasons - against PetGirl Bergman. I have never declared that PetGirl is totally without fault in this but at least I have not seen any of the same hateful expressions from her as I frequently do from the others.
You like some others seem to squarely place me in PetGirls camp, I strongly object against that. I have never been a part of that which I have said many times, but no one seems to believe anyway, so I stopped mentioning it anymore. Let them create their own “truth”. People who hate always do that anyway.
As for your wishes to mediate between the two groups in Swedish SecondLife I wish you luck, Chaplin. My experience from when I tried that over a year and a half ago is that one group is so stuck in its hate that mediation is not possible. I no longer feel I belong to any Swedish “group” in SecondLife, most of them avoid me like pariah which I totally understand.
Take care, live long and prosper!
Here is my list of posts on hate, bullying and the Swedish drama in SecondLife.
ReplyDeletehttp://bocksl.blogspot.com/2011/09/bullying-is-violence.html
http://bocksl.blogspot.com/2011/09/doc-spad-be-warrior.html
http://bocksl.blogspot.com/2011/09/new-in-world-freebie.html
http://bocksl.blogspot.com/2011/09/hatred-revisited-and-concluded.html
http://bocksl.blogspot.com/2011/09/hatred.html
http://bocksl.blogspot.com/2011/06/recommended-reading.html
http://bocksl.blogspot.com/2011/04/poor-wretches.html
http://bocksl.blogspot.com/2011/02/i-am-backing-off.html
http://bocksl.blogspot.com/2011/02/stand-up-to-bullying.html
http://bocksl.blogspot.com/2011/01/old-cold-bold.html
http://bocksl.blogspot.com/2010/12/what-me-worry.html
http://bocksl.blogspot.com/2010/11/mauro-again.html
http://bocksl.blogspot.com/2011/02/important-things.html
http://bocksl.blogspot.com/2010/09/911.html
http://bocksl.blogspot.com/2010/08/rattelse-och-ursakt-till-dagny.html
http://bocksl.blogspot.com/2010/08/varfor-bloggar-jag.html
http://bocksl.blogspot.com/2010/08/vem-skapar-drama.html
http://bocksl.blogspot.com/2010/07/offermentalitet.html
http://bocksl.blogspot.com/2010/07/om-nakna-avatarer-i-sl.html
Well what i meant was, with your words, that your "bi-product of education and trade" can and may be sensed abusive or smell pompousely to others with other backgrounds. And nobody wants to be called a hater or get categorized as one without having a chance to defend theirselves. Bullying is about ignorance and it sure as hell can be highbrowed too, cause bullying is ultimately a bi-product from being blind to other peoples feelings and reality!
ReplyDeletePeace out M8//
Chaplin Early
Among the persons you say have no chance to defend themselves several do have or had blogs Chaplin.
ReplyDeleteIn your first comment on this post you call them "the innocent people you define as haters".
You have obviously not followed the language these avatars have been using in their blogs and in open chat in the swedish groups. Bock is right when he says that they use hateful expressions and that the target for their accusations is not.
If should follow my own advice I should now give you a heap of example of what they have written and said. But I haven´t saved chatlogs and I give you the task of going backwards in the blogs , you can ask me inworlds which, and you will find these expressions.
Written language is of course hard to handle as it is not followed by facial expressions, sounds and smells. So you have to be very careful as actually bodylanguage in rl supplies a very big part of the message if not the main part. Written communication of this kind is of course much less subtle.
For example, you start your first comment by saying that Bock uses "jurassic strategies of power."
Maybe you tried to say it with a smile and maybe your intentions really ARE to try to solve the problems. But as a reader I only see the arrogant expression as a try to make his good intentions smaller.
You start with a strong way of criticizing Bock instead of emphasizing that he in his post tries to spread good thoughts.
You do not mention any concrete criticism, like when and where and what did he say or do exactly? And then question that if you think it is wrong in any way.
Why do you go on mumbling about "you play a large role in this conflict..." without even a small example?
I have also made these kind of mistakes. It destroys more than it mends. Critic should be precise and in a positive intent otherwise it destroys more than it builds, especially in this clumsy blog/comment-way to talk.
At least you try to give an example of what you mean in your last comment. Then it is possible to discuss even if it puts focus on a sidetrack to the main problem in this conflict.
Dear Kandinsky!
ReplyDeleteTo illustrate what i mean i´ll use an expression that Bock often use to eliminate a discussion with an opponent. And yes it is "jurassic", altho Bock knows that i say that with a smile because he knows that i am a Curmudgeon :) Anyway my comment to your comment, Kandinsky is:
Thanks for sharing your viewpoint, Ms Kandinsky!
@Chaplin
ReplyDeleteI express myself in the way I can and am used to. I refuse to revert to baby-talk, insinuations, innuendo or sweet-talk with a cloaked dagger.
In my mind nothing good comes from being indirect. Say what you mean and mean what you say and deal with any objections that come, is my policy.
More that 18 months ago I decided I would no longer stay silent about the harassment I observed against an individual from a small group of people and their hang-arounds.
In my book hate is when you go from intensely disliking what an individual or a group does or says to intensely disliking whatever the individual or group does or says, i.e. when the intense dislike is transferred from the actions to the individual or group itself. The hate is unforgiving and always interprets anything said or done by the hated in the worst possible way.
I do not care in the least if the people that I call "haters and bullies" get their feelings hurt by my doing so. They have fully deserved it by their repeated violations of common decency and public displays of hatred.
The group of people you refer to as "innocent" are not innocent by any definition of the word that I am familiar with.
This group of not-so-innocent people have chosen to interpret what I do as if I am one of the hated individuals followers or even defenders. Nothing could be more wrong!
However that individual does not vent her thoughts and feelings publicly like the not-so-innocents do, therefore I feel no need to admonish her publicly on my blog either.
Finally, the phrase I use that you find objectionable is one I use towards a select few whom I - from past experiences - have found it futile to enter into discussions with as their views of the world are so contorted by their hate for others or themselves.
@Kandi
Thanks Kandi, for telling me that I am not totally insane and that there are others that perceive the situation in a similar way.
Dear Bock!
ReplyDeleteNever meant to cause grief in my comments. I just wanted to add some thoughts into your contemplation. I hope i haven´t been to harsh cause lord knows that i sometimes am. But sometime it helps when people face you with a mirror. I totally agree with your opinions about bullying, its just that we all need to think about how to live and let live. My opinion is that to many people is stained by dramas, messes or conflicts and that we all should find a way to move on and live happy second lifes cause real life are most of the time a lot worse.
And to Kandinsky: I totally agree with you about written language, but this time i used a lingo to prove a point. How a mess, drama or conflict breeds.
I so hope that the conflict in the swedish community will come to a conclusion and an end so that we all can move on and live and enjoy our second lives without bullying. Cause conflicts like this steals energy not only from minds but from souls.
Take care//
Chaplin Early
Dear Chapin, I have not seen you as a griefer. Your questions are very relevant and pertinent and I am glad that you asked them. I have no problems with their directness or that they questioned me about my involvement in this, because they gave me the possibility to answer in the same way and clarify some things for everyone that had the stamina to read our long dialogue.
ReplyDeleteI can agree to the policy of "live and let live" as long as the bullying and the public displays of hatred come to an end.
If you feel up to it I would welcome you as a mediator in the conflicts in Swedish SecondLife between the so called witch, the so called witch hunters and myself, possibly more people but I will leave that to you to find out or for them to seek you out and ask to be involved.
I share your hopes for the future.
Take care, Chaplin!
Chaplin, for your info, there is a typical, newly written, comment of one of the "persons you call innocent haters" here:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=1132562624160281024&postID=7722670043682495326
@ Kandinsky! My comments were not about Anonymous bullies. My intention was only to exemplify how a conflict breeds.
ReplyDeleteTake care//
Chaplin Early