Report From the War Room

The news reached Southern Charm on Thursday that Her Serene Majesty Mialinn, Queen of Second Norway, had declared war on the Much Honored Bock McMillan, laird of Southern Charm and prince of Cascade Falls.

Ever since the MIA (McMillan Intelligence Agency) had filed their report with the Minister of Defense Hedda Millar she had been belligerent and swearing even more than usual. Some of the extremely cute men of the sim walked around with a permanent blush and seemed very flustered after meting with her.

Hedda of course followed procedure and called all the high-and-mighty of Southern Charm to an immediate meeting in the war room, located ten kilometers below the welcoming and beautiful surface of the sim. Such meetings are mandatory when the safety of the laird or the sim are threatened. 

All of the powers-that-be of the McMillan house hold had been locked up down there since Thursday, with no news of what was going on leaking to the restless and anxious hoi polloi nobilty and commoners up on the surface. However, the meeting is now over and we are being reached with several accounts of what has been happening.

The laird himself had seemed calm and in a good mood despite the urgency of the meeting. 

The hawks at the meeting are rumored to have been Hedda Millar (naturally), her aide-the-camp Minerva Xenno and the identical twins Admiral Duncan Aycliffe, Chief of the Southern Charm Naval Forces and Coast Guard, and Field Marshall Angus Maldor, Chief of the Army and Royal Air Force.

The doves are said to have been represented by Prime Minister Wild Zepp, The Ambassador to the Court of Saint James Callum Beamish, the Foreign Minister Seamus Lycheborne and General Matt Gaboian, Chief of the Marine Corps.

Seemingly Hedda Millar started the meeting with a plea to the laird, this is the only word-for-word account that has reached us as yet (civil translation in brackets). "My kind sweet laird, give me permission to nuke this ÜƧ‗z£ (woman) who has spent the last three years z☺"☻Üú{©¹→1 ☺ ☺54 z☺"☻Üú{©¹→1 ☺ ☺ ÜƧ‗z£ (surgically enhancing her bosom to such a size that she now needs goggles with periscopes to look in front of her when she walks). I will send ©¹→1 ☺ (her) to hell where she rightfully belongs. Please, milord, please!"

The laird is said to have smiled softly at her and have asked her to sit down and breathe. "It is true, we have had an armed detente with the Queendom of Second Norway during the last decade, but I actually cannot see that the declaration of war from the good Queen Mialinn should be taken seriously, to the contrary. To me it seems that her post should be read as a joking peace offering. You all know this already, I love Norwegians and would never contemplate any obliteration of them and their beautiful sims, besides I have been sending friends to live there. They might be hurt too. We do not want to kill Ziggy Starsmith and Drew Barnard and all the other friends we have managed to sneak in there, do we?"

After this the mood of the meeting is said to have changed. The princes and princesses instead started laying plans on how to deal with the hundreds of Vikings the Norwegian queen had promised to send. Duncan came up with a devious plan.

"Well", he started, "we all know that all straight men are not as straight as they seem. Lets make a drink of ginger ale and some Tabasco sauce. When they come we will serve it to them and tell them that if they drink the potion they will forget everything they do and will no longer be responsible for their actions. That should turn a lot of the bi-curious or closeted gays around and we would have a good time too. The ones it doesn´t have an affect on we leave to Hedda and Minerva do deal with."

With that they laughingly left the war room and went up to their waiting countrymen shouting "Pounce the sexy Vikings, pounce them and lets enjoy ourselves!"

The Laird is Shocked

So as the reluctant royalist that I am, I will now share the good and the bad news with you, my dear readers!

Lets start with the good news. Here is the relevant announcement in English that was sent out yesterday from the Swedish royal household.

The Much Honored Bock McMillan, laird of Southern Charm and prince of Cascade Falls, was happy for the young family and that they were all doing well, even if his thoughts also went to the poor harrowed father who must have had an awful sleepless night. (Why cannot women have the consideration to give birth during office hours, say between 9 AM and 5 PM, when fathers are up and about anyway?)

The shocking news came today when the Swedish royal household made the following announcement.

"Friday the 24th of February a cabinet meeting was held at the Royal Palace to mark the birth of a new heir to the throne. At the cabinet meeting, The King informed the Government that the Princess will be named Estelle Silvia Ewa Mary, with the given name Estelle. The Princess was assigned duchess of Östergötland."

Luckily the laird was seated when this announcement was handed to him by HRH Callum Beamish, prince of Cascade Falls and ambassador of Sweden to Southern Charm. 

The poor laird went pale and started shivering when he read the announcement then he cried out in agony "Estelle? Silvia? Ewa (with that unfortunate spelling)? and Mary?. Have those Swedes gone totally insane? These are no names for a future queen of Sweden, what happened to Margareta, Christina, Victoria, Ingeborg or even Blanche, after that sweet old princess from Namur?" 

It took a long while for the laird to recover from this blow but finally, with a visible effort, he collected himself and with a deep sigh and a beautiful little smile said "Well, we cannot expect all royals to have our impeccable taste. We will  have to accept with fortitude what we cannot control."