18 Years Ago

On Tuesday, September 11, 2001, at around 2 PM local time, I was in bed and taking a nap. The day before I had returned back home after being in a hospital for a week and receiving five bags of blood. In a routine physical check-up, it was discovered that my blood count was dangerously low.

I was awoken by a telephone call from my father, who told me to turn on the television because "there are things going on in New York". I thought of going back to sleep, but my curiosity got the better of me so I turned on the TV and started watching the eerie live broadcast from New York City where the North Tower of the World Trade Center was burning.

About ten minutes after I started watching the broadcast the events of the picture started to unfold. A plane was seen flying closer and it became clear that it was aiming for the South Tower. It struck the tower at 3:03PM my time, 9:03AM New York Time, and a big ball of fire erupted from the place of impact. Smoke was now billowing from both towers.

I was stunned, like the rest of civilization, by this vehement terrorist attack happening in broad daylight and playing out on color-TV.

I stayed close to the television all through the night. The other attempted attacks were reported. And the numbers of the people killed and wounded rose by the hour. 

The final count says 2,996 people were killed (including the 19 hijackers) and more than 6,000 others injured. Additionally, 343 firefighters and 71 law enforcement officers died in the World Trade Center and on the ground in New York City. There were more people killed in places outside New York City.

Life for us, the lucky ones, continued but the world as we know it changed. We lost a kind of innocence that day with the over 3,000 deaths. Little by little, new agencies and lots of regulations and restrictions were put in place to try to prevent similar attacks from ever occurring again.

---

On a day like this, it is good to remember the past, the victims of terror whether killed, mutilated or hurt, and hope and work so that we may never experience anything as horrendous again. 

"Listen To Your Body, Bock" - Part 2

"The Anatomy Lesson of Dr. Nicolaes Tulp", oil painting on canvas (1632), Rembrandt

In September 2001 I had just gotten out from a biannual medical check up and was driving back to work when my cell phone rang.

The caller was a nurse at the doctors office I had just left. He told me to immediately stop driving as soon as it could be done, park the car and get myself transported to the emergency room at the hospital. They were going to fax the paperwork there meanwhile. No, I was absolutely not allowed to drive there myself under any conditions.

When I (a little irritated) asked why this brouhaha all of a sudden, I was informed that they had received the results of the blood tests that had been taken and according to them I should actually not be alive, moving about and definitely not driving a car on public roads on my way to work. Apparently the tests showed that my blood count (Hb), which should normally be between 130-170 g/l in a healthy male, was down to 56 g/l.

During the following five days I was subjected to every kind of gastrointestinal examination on the books, gastroscopy, Esophagogastroduodenoscopy, rectoscopy and colonoscopy, I was fed with some radioactive gunk which then was filmed as it passed through my system, from the mouth to the other end.  Despite the extensive examinations no ongoing leakage was discovered, nor any scars or other signs of old leaks. As far as the tests showed, I had the most beautiful and healthy gastrointestinal system in Northern Europe.

It was - and still is - a complete mystery how and from where I had been leaking blood extremely slowly over what must have been a long period of time. If the drop in the blood count had been sudden I would have gone into a state of shock and died.

All the doctors I met asked if I hadn't noticed any bleeding from my body. I told them that I hadn't noticed anything of the sort. I had from time to time been feeling a little tired, but nothing exceptional and I had not had a single sick day during the previous three years.

While at the hospital I was given a bag of blood a day, and I noticed that I became more alert and awake and realized how tired I had in fact been.  "You must listen to your body, Bock" they all told me, but if there was no noticeable shift I cannot understand what my body could have told me.

I was released from the hospital on Monday September 10, 2001, in a much better condition than when I was admitted and told to regularly check my blood count. (There is an easy way to do it without a blood test. You look at the palms of your hands, if they have a nice rosy color all is well but if they go pale you should take a blood test.) I have never had a problem like this after that incident.

I was on sick leave for a month after being released from the hospital, the doctors and my employer insisted on it even if I was feeling better than I had felt for a couple of years. The day after I had come home my father called me in the afternoon and told me to turn on the television, there was something dramatic and strange going on in New York.

As I sat down in front of the television set, I saw a tape being replayed of the first plane crashing into one of the towers at the World Trade Center, I watched live - in a state of complete horror and disbelief - when the second plane crashed into the other tower, and later when the towers crumpled and crashed to the ground, one after the other, and listened to all the speculations all through the night.

Finally

This morning I was woken by a telephone call from my mother, "It´s time to wake up, Bock", she said insistently and without catching her breathe she continued, "Did you hear the news yet? Osama bin Laden is dead, he was killed tonight by the Americans. Finally!"

"Finally" was my first thought also when I heard this news and my thoughts drifted back to that terrible day in September 2001 when Osama´s name and al-Qaeda became known to the whole world. I also thought of the close to 3 000 people who died as a result of that spectacularly heinous attack on the World Trade Center in New York.

During the day I have thought about my immediate reaction to the news again and again. The event has been the main subject of conversation at work.

Osama was of course only a symbol, his death is also symbolic. Terrorism unfortunately did not die with Osama.

I believe that wars should be avoided at almost any cost, except when our fundamental human rights and liberties are at risk. The terrorists however do hold a gun to the heads of all democracies therefore I do believe that the "war on terror" is legitimate, although I do not always agree with the methods.

In wars the leaders and generals of the enemy are legitimate tactical targets as their passing can reduce or destroy the enemy's ability to sustain combat operations. Even if I personally would have preferred if Osama had been brought to justice, I can understand and sympathize with the necessity of killing him.

Still I have an inner conflict about this, as a person who does not believe the death penalty has any redeeming excuses in a democracy or civilized society. I know I am rationalizing, but I still stick to my initial reaction to the news. "Finally!" 

My thoughts go to the families of the victims at World Trade Center.