Conspiracy?

So here I am, just back after my modem died and it took my ISP four (4) days to send me a new one, when today my darling Tomais sends me an offline message from work informing me that his Internet at home is down and his ISP cannot fix it until late tomorrow afternoon.

If it wasn't for my healthy skepticism against all conspiracy theories, I would perhaps now be thinking that the NRA, Mossad, Little Father Putin's covert henchmen and the Swedish Secret Police were conspiring to keep me and my darling apart.