News From Dej's Family

Today I received an email from Dej's first life brother Andy.

"Hi [Bock],

I heard from the medical examiner and it turns out that [Dej] had bacterial pneumonia. It was a very bad infection that he probably had for some time and it went untreated. We are all very surprised that he didn't reach out to anyone including a doctor or hospital since antibiotics would probably have saved his life. We shall never know why he chose this path. I am so very glad he had a good friend in you for all those years. He struggled to get along with people so you must have been very special to him. Thanks for your friendship with my brother [Dej].

Andy"

This is my response to Andy.

"Hello Andy,

Thank you so much for the update!

Mike had an ugly cough for a long time, but for some reason, he refused to see a doctor about it - despite much nagging from me. It is sad to realize that something so simple as a cure of antibiotics most likely would have saved his life.

I am sending you the words I shared at the memorial we had for [Dej] and two of the many hundreds of pictures [Dej] has shared with me over the years. Both the pictures are several years old (SL avatars look much better these days). The one called “Mother of the Bride” is one [Dej] sent me when I was getting partnered, while the one called “Dej at his downfall” shows him standing at a place on the sim were I used to accuse him of ditching his husbands and “all” his lovers (I put lots of skeletons in the waters below to represent the “tons, and tons of men laying there” – a gross exaggeration, but we had fun about it anyway.)

As long as I remain in SecondLife and have the sim, Dej’s downfall will always remain. Dej will also share a memorial on the sim with my former partner Ars, who like his brother [Dej] also died of - untreated - double pneumonia in 2010. (What is it with Americans and health care?) 

Dej was very dear to me and it was a pleasure to have been a part of his life.

Thanks again for the information, Andy.

All my best wishes to you and the rest of Mike’s family in [first] life,[Bock]"

The pictures I attached to the response were these two.

"Mother of the Bride" (March 8, 2014)

"Dej at his downfall"

For Dej

These were my words at the memorial gathering for Dej on Sunday.

Dej and I trying out the sits in a new couch

"It’s a sad occasion, but I am happy for those of you who could make it here today and hope that those who couldn’t will remember my brother Dejerrity Mycron in their own way.

Dej is gone, but the people we lose stay with us in the things we do and how we remember them.

I first remember meeting Dej when he – together with Jeb Nicholls - was hosting for my late husband Ars Northmead at some weekly event they had going for a year, or maybe even two years.

Quite frankly, my first impression wasn’t favorable. I thought Dej was a crude and overbearing bastard. He, on the other hand, thought I was a damned fool. Well, that only goes to show how very wrong first impressions can be sometimes.

I got to know Dej better when Ars passed away in 2010. To my own amazement, I discovered that underneath that rough exterior he was a kind, loving, smart and very gentle soul.

Dej was fiercely loyal and very protective towards me. In that time, he also made his home here at Southern Charm. His protectiveness made me feel safe in a time when I had lost my footing. In the years to come our friendship grew and we became closer. I discovered what a truly good man he was.

Although, as I am sure you all know, he had an awful temper and high defenses, we never really exchanged an unfriendly word. In time he let me come past his walls of protection and I got to know the entirely lovable man behind the rough exterior.

Dej was a man with many and diverse interests.

Did you know he was a secret Trekkie and had a childlike fascination with everything science fiction? He even built a wonderful and complex command station for the USS Enterprise over many years. It would fold out in various ways and had all kinds of instrumentation that I don’t know a thing about, not being a Trekkie myself.

Dej often boasted of having the largest collection of gay porn videography in the history of mankind, among them the complete “Centurians of Rome” , a classic from 1981.

On the other hand, he also had an extremely large collection of show tunes and often knew all the lyrics by heart. He would often sing them to me – and others who cared to listen in – with his beautiful tenor. But he never liked when I tried to sing along, I cannot understand why.

I was utterly shocked when I was reached by the news of Dej’s death and the circumstances surrounding it: he had died alone at the age of only 54 and that he hadn’t been discovered for up to a week after his passing. Add to that the facts that the cause and time of his death are still unknown. It saddened me deeply that I had lost a brother in that way.

Hopefully we will learn more about what caused his death and when he died after the investigations are completed. Dej’s brother in first life has promised to keep me apprised of the results. I can only hope he keeps his promise.

Dej is gone, and we remain to guard his memory and keep him in our hearts and minds. I will always remember him as my protective brother, with a weakness for singing show tunes to me to make me happy when I was sad, or even just to make me laugh.

I will always love you, Dej, and I will always remember you for the warm, caring and loving man that you were.

Rest in peace, my sweet brother."