Yesterday as I was - as usual on Sunday mornings (SLT) - dancing, chatting and having a splendid time at
Elfays´s
Coffee and Pajamas Show I got a very surprising IM from
Martial, my dear brother who was lost to real life some time ago.
We talked in IM a while and all feelings and wonderful memories were stirred up again. I cannot help myself but Martial always hits a certain spot in my heart. Although I wanted to remain restrained, guarded, distant (whatever may be the correct word) and a bit sulky (yes, I actually want to do that sometimes - roll me in tar and cover me in feathers) I couldn't stop the feelings of strong love that just welled up inside me.
Certain people I just cannot help loving, however I try to hide it, block it or stop it, Martial is definitely one of them.
In real life it is exactly the same. I have more than a few ex-boyfriends I still love, no matter how ferocious or ugly the breakup may have been.
P.S. Yes, I do realize that this post may well cause some people to call me "pillertrillare" (an ugly Swedish word for "drug addict") due to my present use of prescribed antidepressants, but they don´t have a clue so they can jump in any lake of their own choice.
I must repeat that my main reasons for writing this blog is for my own benefit and those who care to read it.