My Son As Art

When I logged in yesterday I was soon hailed by my son Guyke, Prince of Paradijs (the traditional title given to the heir to the throne of the realm of Southern Charm). After the usual preliminaries he soon spilled his urgent news.

"I'm in an exhibition!", he said excitedly.
"What do you mean?", I asked, "I know you are an exhibitionist, but what exhibition are you in?"
"You remember, I told you that Ronan Mactavish asked me to pose for him? Well, the pictures are now exhibited."
"Ahh yes, of course I remember. Please send me the landmark and I will go take a look! This should be fun..."

Guyke sent me the landmark to Piazza Siciliana (SLurl) and I arrived safely at the gallery. I was a bit taken aback when I saw the name of the exhibition on the sign at the landing spot.

"Welcome to Ronan Mactavish's Uomini Nudi. Kip.. Jee.. Simon.. Latherblu.. Drey.. Guyke", my Italian isn't great but good enough to realize that I was going to be exposed to images of naked men. The boy hadn't told me that... "If he is sporting an erection I will surely accidentally drown him, even if he is the Crown Prince", I thought to myself as I took three deep breaths and prepared myself for the worst.

I decided to start with the others men in the exhibition and look at Guyke's pictures last, so I could slowly prepare myself for the possible shock.

The exhibition was however extremely tasteful and beautifully composed, so as I moved along through the different sections I felt my fear leaving me. When I finally came to the Guyke-section I was extremely happy to see Ronan's interpretation of my beloved son.

 

 I am happy to say that I can recommend this wonderful exhibition to you all.

A Unilateral Action

Today I have been in SecondLife 2,667 days or, expressed in another way, 7 years 2 months and 18 days.

I would like to think that I have friendly relations with most of the people I have encountered during those many years, some are still close, others I meet sporadically but for various reasons our paths have mostly parted, some have more or less or altogether left SecondLife and some I don't have contact with even if they are still around. But those that we are friends with or have amicable relations with are never the problem, are they?

The relationships that drain my energy, and that I have been thinking much about the last two weeks, are the failed ones. Those relationships that have to some degree turned into open or concealed enmity. I find that it weighs down on me and makes me weary to keep track of the perceived wrongdoings and insults. It has also to some degree turned into an unwanted bitterness on my part that I do not at all care for.

So today I am going to clean the slate by unilaterally forgiving those I feel have wronged me - or someone I love - intentionally or through carelessness, so that I thereby in time can forget the perceived insults and abuses. I am also asking those whom I know feel that I have wronged them for forgiveness. I am going to unblock all those that have previously been blocked from Instant Messaging me in-world or from entering my home sim or on social media sites.

I know that this action will most likely be labeled as "drama" by some, but I don't care one iota because I am doing it for my own sake not anyone else's. My forgiveness is in no manner dependent on the their willingness to forgive me.

As I do not believe a sweeping apology is enough I am going to name each and every one of those I believe deserve my forgiveness and whose forgiveness I need for my words and actions in the past. I will not go into my reasons for feeling hurt by those named, except in one particular case.

I forgive you, Ars Northmead, for dying and leaving me alone and heartbroken for such a long time. I also ask your forgiveness for resenting you for something you could not help. You know I love you, babe, and I know you loved me. Forgiving you was and is always easy.

I forgive you, Andrey Messmer (a. k. a. D R E Y Messmer), and ask for your forgiveness.

I forgive you, Martial Eisenhart, and ask for your forgiveness.

I forgive you, Butch Horton, and ask for your forgiveness.

I forgive you, Vanadis Falconer, and ask for your forgiveness.

I forgive you, Sjöfn Stoneshield, and ask for your forgiveness.

I forgive you, Kynlif Leikfang, and ask for your forgiveness.

I forgive you, Loo Berensohn, and ask for your forgiveness.

I forgive you, PetGirl Bergman (a.k.a. Tina Dahl), and ask for your forgiveness.

I forgive you, Alessia Kranfel (a.k.a. Vesper Kling and Mera Kranfel) and ask for your forgiveness.

Lastly I forgive myself.
---

The deed is done and now the rest of my life can start afresh. It is a big relief! 

My SecondLife Ankles - The Conclusion

Following a suggestion from Drey Messmer, one of my brother in-laws, I increased my foot size to 50. As you can see it may have helped a little. However - to your relief and my own also - I can safely say that this will be the last post ever concerning my ankles.

Yesterday I received a gift of elven-crafted prim feet from my friend Garth Raleigh, quite possibly to effectively shut me up on this tedious and self obsessed subject. Nonetheless I am extremely grateful to him for this considerate gift and thank him from my ankles all the way up to the top of my head.

I am going to try them out first thing today and use them whenever I can. However, if you should see me in my allegedly hideous socktops in the future you now know the reason why. Who knows, perhaps socktops will be fashionable again in which case you may refer to me as "trendsetter" or "fashionista extraordinaire".

To the bore that reported my earlier picture to Facebook, "Dear Madam/Sir, please note that I am actually wearing a swimsuit and am not flaunting a hard-on."

Coming Together

Yesterday I had invited a small and carefully selected group of family and friends to join me at Southern Charm to commemorate the third anniversary of Ars' passing. The real day is tomorrow, March 12, but as you all know it is usually easier for people to make time during the weekends.

Dej, Millimina, I, Shayne & Sarco

Those invited were
Guyke Lundquist, Ars' son,
Dej Mycron, Ars' brother,
Andrey Messmer (nowadays known as Drey Porchers), Ars' brother,
Jeb Nicholls, Ars' brother,
Shayne Turbo, Ars' brother in-law and husband of Jeb
Millimina Salamander, Ars' sister in-law and my sister, and last but not least,
Sarco Halderman, Ars' business partner and both our friend.

Sarco, Guyke & I

I was so fortunate that all except two could attend despite it being held on the day that the United States started Daylight Saving Time and the fact that Sarco had to get up at six o'clock on a Monday morning. Jeb unfortunately had a prior engagement and Drey could sadly not be reached.

The six of us who could make it had a nice time together,  exchanging memories of Ars and catching up with what had been going on in the others first and second lives.

Hi-a-tus-es

Hi·a·tus  /haɪˈeɪtəs/ noun, plural hi·a·tus·es. (Dictionary.com)

The term hiatus has suddenly turned into a very popular word among my immediate family and friends in SecondLife. At this time I have five of those closest to me on a hiatus, they are my brother in-law Drey, my buddy Butch, my stepson Guyke, my sister Millimina and my buddy Ziggy. Their reasons for this decision vary.

Drey has just vanished and doesn't respond to messages, so his reasons are still unclear, but they usually occur when he has a lot of stuff going on in his first life.

Butch is on a sort of semi-hiatus because of first life occurrences. 

Guyke is on a hiatus to enjoy the feeling of cuddling up close to a warm man. 

Millimina is on one due to a busy first life also. 

And finally Ziggy because of painful health issues in first life - which are hopefully going to be taken care off by skillful surgeons of the Canadian Nation Health Care very soon.

In my humble (well maybe not all that humble...) opinion the five of them would be better off if they took a hiatus from their first lives instead of SecondLife, because their is no better place to be than in-world (preferably with me) if you want to relax from the stresses of a busy first life, as evidenced by the wonderful picture by Millimina that i am using in this post.

On the Raft

Sunday didn´t get a good start for me in SecondLife. I crashed six times within an hour and ended up at tele hubs three times when I tried logging in to home, so when I finally could log in to Southern Charm I decided to scratch my plans of going to Grenouille Inn to listen to my ex-missus Iendi Laville´s regular Sunday radio show and instead  find a calm spot and stay there awhile to think about the evening before.

During the crash period, I had unsuccessfully tried to carry on a conversation with my BIL (brother in-law Andrey Messmer), but it seemed like the instant messages kept getting stuck. When I finally got back and could actually stay in, I could no longer see him inworld.

Yesterday one of my friends tried to pick a fight with me, why I did not understand. Whatever I said to him was met by a snarky comeback. I do not mind fights, in fact sometimes I find them rather refreshing, but I was not in the mood for one last night. So telling him I was tired and going to bed I logged off leaving him there to nurture his bad mood in whatever way he could find. While floating around on my raft today I thought through what had happened and came to some kind of vague plan of action.

As I was going to leave I was hailed by one of my newest family members, Fabiano Dover, we had a pleasant conversation about the relaunching of his blog (Heart Break Ridge) and the interesting subject of secrets. It was good he had stopped me when he did, because I was much calmer when I finally logged off for my afternoon nap.

Celebration

The evening before the American election my son Guyke and I had discussed that we should meet up this evening to either celebrate or mourn the outcome of together with our family. It was also a good opportunity for me to meet the new extensions to the family.

In the picture you see (from left to right) Guyke, my buddy Butch "I-don´t-understand-this-family-thing-in-SL" Diavolo, Dillon (son of Janttu and Fabiano), myself, my son in-law #1 Janttu and his husband Fabiano and my brother in-law D R E Y.

Missing in the picture are my sister Millimina,  my son in-law #2 Ziggy and my brother in-law Dej..

As we had at least three DJ´s present I of course forced them to play music for us. We had a wonderful time talking on voice and listening to music. The most special thing about this party was perhaps that I heard Janttu speak for the first time. I will only say that I went weak in my knees (and that even when I was sitting).

The new family members were charming, witty and good looking  but I never doubted that because the men in the clan know how to pick awesome men.

The Lairds Return

So - finally - after many promises and lots of strange excuses the Much Honored Bock McMillan, laird of Southern Charm and prince of Cascade Falls, at long last returned to his beloved home sim yesterday.

Well, to be quite honest, I was not at home very long because I had a Second Pride membership meeting to attend. The meeting went on for more than two and a half hours, which is an unusual long time and rather unexpected if you read the agenda.

I must admit that I may in some small way have contributed to part of the tardiness but otherwise I believe it may have been that many of us were in a slightly cantankerous mood and ended up splitting hairs for no real reason at all. When a whole lot of people get together in this state of mind the outcome is inevitably a very long meeting.

The meeting was not a total waste of time because the board was eventually able to decide to
- adopt new rules of conduct for the membership meetings,
- elect a board for the newly created Second Pride Foundation,
- create a new headquarter for Second Pride,
- create a Second Pride Build avatar and
- buy a special building for certain future events.

A strange thing happened during the meeting when our usually very efficient chairman Doc Spad - or "Sir Doc, Sir" as I call him in my mind - suddenly asked:, "Did you have a question Ars?".

I immediately became alert and started caming around in the conference room to see who this second Ars could be. Then he said "Sorry, I mean Forever did you have a question?". And it dawned on me that he must be reading my group tag and meaning me. We both laughed at the strange incident because he realized his mistake at the same time as I did.

I was happy I have come this far, because six or eight months ago I would not have been able to laugh at it and would have filled it with strange meanings.

However, I did manage to get in a few words with some of my friends and family during the meeting. And at the very end - before I had to leave for lovely and welcoming bed - I squeezed in a hug from my brother-in-law- D R E Y Porchers, nee Messmer, It was good seeing him again because I don´t think we have been in touch since before the summer.

The Danger With Mesh-Clothing

I have some friends and family (read fashionistas Butch Diavolo and my brother in-law Drey Porchers, nee Messmer) who keep telling me how wonderful mesh-clothing is. Well call me old-fashioned, but I still cannot get over the fact that I resent clothing that needs my body to adapt to it instead of the other way around.

While I was in-world this afternoon, waiting for my prodigal stepson Guyke Lundquist to turn up in-world (as he had promised to do in an email sent to me at 4:23 AM this morning), I started to prepare the parcel where my Kiss-A-Swede event is taking place on Wednesday and chatted in instant message with friends who actually were in-world.

I also talked with Drey, whom I hadn't seen in-world recently. When the time was past 6 PM CET and afternoon turned to evening I gave up on Guyke coming in-world today and told Drey I was logging off for a nap. Before I left, Drey came over for a hug. That is when I discovered another drawback with mesh-clothing, see pictures below.

This is what my darling BIL saw on his screen.

And here is what I saw on my screen.

Luckily for my BIL I am Swedish and have no problems with nudity, even full frontal with no dick attached, so he got his hug anyway but don´t come preaching to me about how "awesome" mesh-clothing is until they get this problem fixed. Who in the world wants to turn up naked anywhere?

Oh, I should think Guyke forgot all about our nightly e-mail correspondence because he was not fully awake and probably had forgotten all about it when he woke up this morning. I love him to bits anyway!

P.S. I just checked my e-mail and there was a reply from Guyke to the e-mail I sent him before taking my nap. He tells me he had not forgotten and asked me to reread his e-mail from tonight, because he had actually told me he was coming in this evening.

So I thought, "Haha now I have him nailed to the wall", but as it turns out I must still have been half-asleep when I read the e-mail this morning. *blushes* Sorry Guykechen!

The Concept of Family in SecondLife

From a sociological and/or anthropological perspective a family is a group of people who are affiliated by marriage, consanguinity, affinity or co-residence. Families are formed as a source of mutual love and support within the group concerned. Sexual relations among family members are regulated by rules concerning incest such as the incest taboo.

In a virtual world we don´t need to focus on consanguineous relationships as sexual relationships cannot end with an independent issue. All relationships are created by choice through affinity and affections and are either romantic or non-romantic.

The Family Chart. Muted colors mean that the avatar is (mostly) no longer around
Yellow circles signify partnerships/marriages, red circles previous partnerships/marriages and yellow arrows mutually elected non-romatic relationships of a family kind (sister/brother or child/mother or father)

In the beginning there was Ars Northmead, a charming, friendly, clever and multitalented avatar.

Ars was - among many other things - a DJ in SecondLife and founded the Sarco Sound Group with his friend and business partner Sarco Halderman. One of the first DJ´s recruited to the group was Andrey (D R E Y) Messmer. Ars and Andrey developed a close non-romantic-friendship, with much love and trust between them.

Shortly before Ars and I met there may - or may not - have been a brief sexual relationship between Ars and Guyke Lundqvist (I am not altogether sure about this and have never really worried about it). Anyway, by the time I appeared on the scene the relationship between the two had evolved into a relationship between a father and son. When I teamed up with Ars I also became Guyke´s evil-stepfather.

Ars and I became a couple, shortly thereafter Andrey and Guyke became a couple also, this was however before we had established the family. When Andrey´s and Guyke´s relationship ended, Andrey became Ars brother. Both Andrey and Guyke went on to form new romantic relationships that were included into the family.

When Guyke became partnered with Haakon Meads, his elected mother Starry Sweetwater and her husband Sir Trifle became in-laws. Similarly I become the uncle of Skip Turbo´s adopted son Liam when Skip and Andrey were partners.

Ars also formed brotherly ties with Dej Mycron and Jeb Nicholls, while Martial Eisenhart and I and Millimina Salamander and I also elected each other as siblings, well in the last case I more or less forced it on the poor girl. Martial formed a partnership with Elorian Scarbridge for a while through which Elorian and I became brother in-laws. Dej has of course also had partners, but I did not much like the last one so I am not mentioning him (I am invoking my literary license on this).

Postscript
I am happy that I took the time to make the family chart, because looking at it clarify some things that have been a mystery to me earlier.

As I understand it, these kind of chosen family clusters are supposedly more common among the gay population in SecondLife than among the straight population. An explanation to this could of course be that many gays already have experienced the concept of "choosing your family" in their first life due to the shunning and ostracizing that still occurs in all cultures, albeit to a lesser extent nowadays that 15-20 years ago.

I have no sure information on how common it can be among lesbians, either in first life or SecondLife. As we all know lesbians seem to provoke less animosity in the straight culture, possibly because the women are better at staying "under the radar" than gay men. The fact that straight men find women "playing with each other" so fascinating at least while they wait for him - the macho male - to arrive. I am also certain that part of the explanation is due to the unequal status of women in society, "what women do does not matter".

If heterosexuals ever think about homosexuals, there seems to be a strong tendency to focus on the sexual activities rather than on the feelings and attractions. I did not choose to become gay to engage in fellatio or have anal intercourse. I am gay and therefore use the sexual activities and techniques available to me to give and receive pleasure from another man - and hell yes, I damn well love it!.

External Memories

Hermione Gingold & Maurice Chevallier from "Gigi" (1958)

I am always certain that I remember correctly, but from time to time I realize that my memory has a will of its own.and what I remember in hindsight may not be what actually happened. It as is at times like these that I heavily rely on people around me - in both my lives - to inform me of what really occurred when it occurred, who where there etc.,etc.

In my SecondLife I rely mainly on four people to work as my "external memories", these are in the order they appeared in my SecondLife Sarco Halderman, D R E Y, Millimina Salamander and Diana Gilderoy. They do not always have to give me very many clues or set me straight on something before the true memory comes to me, but my mind simply needs those inputs to start delving in the right places.

A Gift From Millimina

I had a good evening with my Ars today.

Some friends came by and sat with me for awhile, others I talked with in IM. It was a wonderful time we talked about Ars and myself somewhat but also about their lives and their experiences. Sharing is always good.

First I will show you two beautiful pictures taken by Millimina Salamander that she gave to me from last years gathering. In the pictures you see, from left to right, Sarco Halderman, Andrey Messmer, me, Janttu Winkler, Guyke Lundqvist and Millimina herself.

"Remembering Ars 2011" by Millimina Salamander

"Remembering Ars 2011 in The Jesters Hats" by Millimina Salamander

This is a picture I took earlier in the evening while I was still alone and just enjoyed the peacefulness, the music and the sweet memories.

Remebering Ars 2012 by Bock McMillan

Ars In Memoriam

Joseph Douglas Wilson Jr., in SecondLife better known as the avatar Ars Northmead, passed away peacefully on March 12, 2010, at 8.30 PM SLT. Doug died at hospital in Little Rock, Arkansas, of respiratory failure and complications due to double pneumonia.

In his first life Doug left behind parents, four siblings and their families. In SecondLife Ars left behind me, our son Guyke and Ars´s three brothers Andrey, Dejerrity and Jeb and very many friends. All of us miss him terribly in our lives.

Hey, my darling, I am back to sit and talk with you at Mirromere again. Somehow this is still where I feel closest to you, even if I know you are with me everywhere. The calmness of this place soothes me. 

Its strange really, today is two years since you passed away and sometimes it still feels like it was only two weeks ago. These two years have been rough, but I am doing much better now and am getting increasingly better as time lingers on. Nowadays I can even think of you, talk with you or about you without breaking up - most of the time. Other times are not so good, but those days are farther apart. 

I think a lot about our years together, babe, when I first saw you, when I first heard you laugh, when we first kissed, when we first made love on those damn pose balls that weren't adjusted to our sizes, when you first told me you loved me and I confessed that I had loved you for the longest time and had gotten to love you more every time we met.

I remember how we went looking for our new home together in secrecy. Not telling anyone what we were doing or why we were doing it. The many, many, places we saw before we came to Southern Charm and saw the house on the waterfall and both knew at once that this would have to be it. It felt like home from the start. 

We had many good times, my darling Ars, and they are good to think about now. We had some bad times also, babe, but they never, ever, made us doubt that what was good between us would hold whatever came in our way. I have never been happier than when I have been with you, my Ars, you always made me feel safe, you made me feel clever and you made me feel worthy of your love. 

Did I ever tell you that I sometimes seem to forget what that wild and crazy laughter of yours sounds like? But you always come through for me, and the next night or the night after that I hear it in my dreams and get all warm and fuzzy allover again. Yeah, yeah, we aren't religious any of us but still, that's what actually happens.

Oh Ars, did I tell you today? Yes I know that you know I love you, but did I actually speak it out. Somethings need to be said out loud and repeated as often as it suits you. So whether or not I already told you, I love you so much Ars baby, always and forever.

Meeting D R E Y

 Every meeting with my brother in-law D R E Y starts with a hug followed by declarations of love, Once those preliminaries are over my BIL and I can start talking.

The talk today started with hernias, went over lovers to life, straight mens fashion sense (Apmel excluded by mutual agreement, as the rumors about him are spreading outside the Swedish circles), day men, new shops that are worth a visit and special men, lieges and lairds and lairds souls saved by instructions from sweet vampire lieges.

We also made a sate to meet when D R E Y´s liege comes home from hist travels - he has gone to Transylvania on a business trip - and how nioce it would be to hang with him awhile. We also covered the usual topic about how many assholes one has to sift through to find the gold nuggets.

Meeting my BIL is always good!

How My Soul Was Saved

Let me start by saying that both Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise can go jump in the lake, because my own personal vampire is far sweeter, more stunning and cleverer than the two combined!

I am now at liberty to share his name and true appearance with you all. You may remember I told you about his coming out as a vampire to me in my earlier post My Soul Is Intact (url). At that point in time I had not yet asked for his permission so I showed you a picture where he was masked. Here is the unmasked version.

I and Drey

Some of you may recognize my darling brother in-law Drey Messmer after his makeover, and you would be correct. Well, my BIL is these days an out and proud gay vampire and I support him thoroughly.

As some of you may remember, we did some tests that I reported to you in the post mentioned above and concluded that my soul was safe. However, my BIL is no dumb-ass so he discussed my case with his vampire liege - the guy that had bitten him I am guessing  - and they reached the conclusion that my soul could still be in peril and further testing was needed.for a correct diagnosis to be made.

Drey, my personal vampire

So my BIL came over for a new visit and we started the testing. Before the testing could proceed I had to wear  the garlic necklace again and deactivate it and I also had to deactivate my Animation Override (AO)

"The Garlic Necklace: Your Garlic Necklace Vampire Bite Ward has been deactivated. You are now vulnerable to Vampire bites".

It felt a little scary to do this in the presence of a cute vampire, but I trust my BIL implicitly and of course I was never in any danger. Following the deactivation Drey made a new scan of me after first assuring me that if there should be a problem there was also a cure.

"HUD [Thirst::Bloodlines] 3.4: Bock McMillan's soul is in Limbo. To rescue it, they need to drink the Wormwood potion. If they register, their soul will go to Titania Bracken."

When I saw the result of the scan and the name I remembered the incident where I had been attacked by this awful Titania woman at a concert where we had been dancing in some obscure place. The bite was sent under the guise of a farewell hug and as any decent Swede I never deny I a hug (we are all bad that way) whereupon she bit me and stole my soul.

Drey told me that the only thing that had prevented my soul from being lost was the fact that I never joined Bloodlines. If I had done so at any point after the my soul would have gone to Titania´s soul-count.

Now for the cure Drey teleported to the sim Liquid (SLurl) to purchase the Wormwood potion and send it to me. He told me not to use it until he returned.

Drey, my savior

When my BIL was back and I had unpacked the potion he had sent me, he told me to wear the bottle, hit it and then choose "Drink" on the dialogue window that appeared.

As soon as I had drunk the potion I received this message "The Wormwood Potion: Your soul has been rescued from Limbo".

Drey made a new scan of me and got this message; HUD [Thirst::Bloodlines] 3.4: Bock McMillan's soul was in Limbo, then they drank the Wormwood potion. Once they have registered for Bloodlines and been bitten, their soul will go to the next person to bite them.

Yeahaw!!! My soul that had been in peril had now been saved by my beautiful, wonderful BIL.

The next thing I did after giving Drey a hug was to activate my garlic necklace again!

Reflections on a Monday

Sunday was a hectic day for me. My feelings were all over the place, swinging from sorrow to happiness and then back and forth a few times. All in all it was a good day though.

Can one actually celebrate a wedding anniversary if the spouse is dead? That was one of the things on my mind early in the day, but I soon decided that "Hell yes, sure I can" because it was one of my happiest days in SecondLife. "Honi soit qui mal y pense" (which in Bockese directly translates into "Bugger those evil minded bastards who think ill thereof")

Then I was reached by the news of Whitney Houston´s death at an early age in tragic circumstances. The first song that came to my mind was "I Will Always Love You" from the film where she starred against Kevin Costner, "The Bodyguard". Not very original I know but...

The last Coffee and Pajamas Jazz Show with Elfay at Circe´s Sunset Jazz Club brought laughter and sad and happy memories. That club and that show and Circe, Elfay, Diana, Margo and Carol, Mari and Ex and all the other regulars there, meant a lot for me during a difficult time. I cannot even begin to explain how important it was for me to have that place to go to every Saturday (and later Sunday). It was a sad parting of sorts but still not because they will all remain in SecondLife and hopefully we will all keep in touch.

The Sunday ended on a very happy and festive note with the birthday bash of my buddy Ziggy Starsmith and his studelicious man Holter. All the gay hunks of SecondLife where there and I should think some more came after I left at midnight (my time) to catch some sleep before work today.

In between the show and the party I had good conversations with my sister Millimina, my brother in-laws Dejerrity and Andrey...hmmm sorry I mean D R E Y. My avatars soul was after further investigations proven to be in mortal peril and was finally saved. 

But more about the last show, the birthday bash and the tests and the scary treatments I had to undergo to save my soul in future posts. I need to gather more energy for that.

Ohh I will also reveal the identity of "my vampire", the most beautiful vampire that has ever existed, including that silly Tom Cruise´s rendition.

My Busy Saturday

In hindsight it was a great Saturday evening and Sunday morning, even with all my crashes and the strange weekend shit happening. So what was it I did, lets see if I can recall it all...?

First I went to look at some new hair to party in. My brother in-law D R E Y (a.k.a BIL) had dropped a landmark on me last we spoke. It was a beautiful shop with some great hair, I will look up the name when I get back in SecondLife and add it here. B-something that rhymes with barley if I remember correctly...Aah got it! Burley (SLurl) was the name! (No picture yet!)

With my new hair down I went back home to pack a gift for Eddi Haskell for his fifth rezday. What does one give to a man who has been around forever and probably has everything he ever wanted to have? 

Well I think I finally found a good gift when I decided to give him one of the beautiful jars made by Second Renoir, the Swedish first and second life artist. I love those jars, and have almost all of them myself.

While I was gift wrapping the jar I talked a little with my in-house (or on-sim) brother in-law Dejerrity. It is always good to check in with him. he makes me feel warm, safe and happy.

Happy with having the gift decided and packed I dropped in at Mid´s Super Fride Party with DJ Gwenni. The set looked really true to the original, but after a while it got to be a bit too overwhelming and it was quite difficult to make out the other avatars among everything that was going on there.

Super Fride

While i was listening to the great selection of music played for us by the amazing DJ Gwenni, who was a new acquaintance for me, I got a surprise call from my darling brother Martial.Eisenhart, who had been missing for awhile. It was so good talking with him again! As always we talked about everything between heaven and earth and all at the same time. His mind works nearly as mine, but he is a sweeter, kinder and much less judgmental version of myself. 

When Martial had dozed off I got the call that Eddi´s party at Tadd's Cabaret had started, so I quickly changed into something stylish to fit in with the crowd at one of Eddi´s parties. (Black suit with a black t-shirt showing off my chest hair.) The place was full when I got there and filled up even more while I was there. 

Somewhere in between this I got the chance to stand up for my dear friend Zigadena Gabardini, who was - for no rational reason at all - being clobbered at by the extraterrestrial hag from InWorldz in the comments on another blog.

I found a safe spot close to the hunky host Scott and started flirting wildly with him, although I don´t think he noticed much. The only man that ever understood when I was flirting was my Ars. He told me once, that I should drop all the subtleties because people are so busy with everything else going on. To which I answered, "Do you  suggest I tell them in local chat that we should leave and go fuck?". He laughed when I promptly sent him an IM saying exactly that. But what the hell, all my flirting is only for fun still, I have no intentions whatsoever of following up on them, perhaps the guys sense that somehow.

While I was busy with that, lo and behold, I suddenly saw my name called in local chat. It was my buddy, the studly Ziggy Starsmith that had arrived to the party. He looked grey, sultry and sexy as all the others at the party, except for the hunky Scott. 

I tried all my tricks to get the world to rez, pulling down draw distance and changing the group tag, but nothing worked. And then SecondLife kicked me out.

When I tried to log back in I almost made it three times but was kicked out again with the message "The system has logged you out because you are trying to log in from another location"? Interesting message and it was the first time ever I got it - after five years in SecondLife. I don´t understand what it means though.

Finally I gave up going back to the party and went back home instead, which worked fine. Soon after I got back on I got an IM from Ziggy asking if he could come over for a visit and take a look at Southern Charm. I was absolutely delighted to invite him over.

Ziggy came over and looked excellent this time. I gave him the grand tour of the sim - both the house and the grounds - and we had a good time talking about ourselves and our lives (both of them). After about an hour Ziggy´s new man, Holter, logged in when he got home from work in first life and was called over. At that point my darn computer and SecondLife started screwing with me again and kicked me out and started giving me the same strange messages when I attempted to log in again.

When I at last succeeded to get inworld again it was 7 am in my first life and I was starting to fall asleep over my key board so I had to make my excuses soon afterwards to go to bed and catch some sleep..

D R E Y Is Back

My darling brother in-law D R E Y (the spaces are important and make him look younger, he hasn't said so but it´s what I suspect).

As always when my BIL comes back from a hiatus he has made a complete makeover and is now a stunning blond with a skin he will have to take care with in the permanent sunshine of our world.

It was late (or early) in my first life but we do not meet that often so when the occasion arose we just had to meet and talk a little, it happened to be at Fabrice´s memorial site because I was there when he came inworld.

I love my BIL, it was good to see and talk with him again.

Foggy Monday

"Serenity in the fog", photography by Gary Hamburgh

It´s Monday and I didn't sleep well last night. All weekend my head was bursting with images of the things I was going to create now that I had finally started building again in SecondLife. I also had some splendid ideas about future posts for the blog.

I woke up this morning - 35 minutes too late - and all the enthusiasm was gone. Instead I have spent the whole day trying to catch up with myself and my first life after spending last week mostly in meetings or conferences.

Luckily nothing too bad had been going on so by the end of the day I had finally gotten through all the mail and caught up with everything else, so tomorrow I can start afresh without any immediate deadlines or crisis's needing to be averted.

When I got home I was tired but restless and uninspired and cold. I tried taking a nap to refresh myself but couldn't sleep, so I feel foggy, dazed and cold. More or less like the photo by Gary Hamburg but not as beautiful.

I have been rereading Philip Rosedale´s statements in The New York Times interview that have caused such an uproar among residents and trying to fit them to my realities.

Before entering into SecondLife I can honestly say that I could sometimes be alone, but that was never a problem for me because I never ever felt lonely. There were always people at hand if and when I wanted them. Now there are days that I feel lonely even if I am not alone, no matter how many people I am surrounded by.

Ars and the rest of my onetime SecondLife family seem to somehow have changed my perceptions. In the light of Philips words this makes me feel warped and abandoned. I don´t know if I am making any sense at all and may very well remove this post later.

Whatever, tomorrow is another day, anything can happen!

Treasure Found

My sister Millimina yesterday asked to see a picture of me when I was still a brunette in SecondLife. While I was rummaging through my Inventory I accidentally came across this picture showing my Ars, me, our son Guyke and my brother in-law Andrey relaxing together.

I cannot remember this particular occasion but I still intensely remember the feeling of belonging and of being together.

Ever since Ars passed away I have been meaning to go through all the snapshots, but the task feels overwhelming.