Thursday, August 1, 2013

Doc Spad: Second Pride... Another Perspective On Truth

Today I received this email from Doc Spad, the outgoing chairman of Second Pride.  I am going to publish in it's entirety, without comments at this time. I will however, in the interest of full disclosure, inform you that Doc Spad has been a friend of mine during the last two years.



"Below is my response to all that has happened over the past few days... you have my express permission to publish this... contact me with any questions 
SECOND PRIDE....ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE ON TRUTH 
Over the past several weeks I have seen what could have been a “normal” election process crumble into a mud-slinging free-for-all rife with rumor, innuendo and attacks from all sides. 
It’s been reduced to personal attacks directed at people that just wanted to run for office of an organization this is supposed to bring the LGBT community together. Instead I see the entire process as as pulling the community apart. I’ve been torn over the past 36 hours or so as to what to say or do. What can I do to try to stop the dissension without making it worse. Every time I look at FB or the forums I see more behaviour that has hurt Pride and created more strife. I have been involved with Pride for over 6 years. I have seen earlier Boards deal with the same issues and over the past two years as Prides chairman have done my best to limit the drama and turmoil that have plagued Pride in the past. Personally, I think we did a fairly good job. Pride has grown substantially in members, vendors, sponsors, and attendees.. Donations have reached a point where the Board is in a position to make contributions to the good work of other LGBT nonprofits and make a substantial donation to RL groups as well. However, the unnecessary drama and lack of truthfulness that have publicly emerged during this election have taken all the hard work of restoring the credibility of Pride and wasted it. 
My actions over the past two weeks have been to do what I can to quell this fire without adding new fuel to it. I fear that there is no way to accomplish that and after I finish writing and posting this response it might make matters worse. But I feel the membership needs to understand my motivations and and why I contacted Cortez in the first place. I disagree with some of what Cortez Brandriss said in her statement to the Board, but do understand her ire, as my notecard on “tickets” must have encouraged a great deal of communication directed to her that she did not deserve. I have the chat logs that might explain better what really happened during that discussion but in releasing them I would bring more undue attention to someone that just wanted to serve our community and never deserved being drug into this. I apologise to her for my role in this whole affair. 
Last year, early in the election, I had, myself, suggested to some of the other candidates that they form a “ticket”. After some thought, I decided it was a bad idea, and nothing was ever done with regard to the formation of any alliances. A new Board was elected and a very diverse group of people took their positions on the Board. I had worked with Khar and Tootsie on the previous Board and knew them both well. None of the other people on last year's Board were friends of mine. I knew who they were, but none of us were close friends. It was a diverse Board with people having new and fresh ideas. No one or one group “controlled” the board and because of that there was a lively and effective exchange of ideas and I think the success of the Pride Festival this year showed what a diverse and independent group of people could accomplish. I was but one vote on the Board and many times my ideas were “shot down”.The independence of each board member allowed for a dynamic effective Board that worked on the basis of “what was best for Pride”. 
This year, before all of the candidates even declared, a group of people did in fact create an alliance This alliance was formed by Dex and included several other candidates running for various positions, most of them selected by Dex and asked to run by him. There is nothing in the by-laws that prevents this. There is nothing wrong with Dex asking others to run for some of the other offices. I was concerned by the prospect of having a single group of people led by one person, in control of the Board. Were these people assembled because of the abilities they brought to Pride or because of the votes they could deliver from the various groups they were affiliated with.? I felt that a slate might stymie and restrict new ideas and in effect place one person in control of the entire Board. These concerns grew as the election progressed and the selected slate of candidates both denied the nature of their alliance while simultaneously making statements hinting at rule changes and other actions that they had apparently agreed to, but which they were not discussed in a public forum. We have seen this in past Pride boards and it resulted in stagnation.The board was run from a perspective of “my way or the highway” mentality. This created drama and because of a single perspective being the only way, Pride suffered. 
When I looked at the candidates for Event Director I was encouraged by the entry of Cortez. Here was a person that could bring great things to Pride. She had experience running events that resulted in huge involvement from many communities and I was excited seeing her in the running. As far as I was concerned she was head and shoulders above the other two candidates and would bring great things to Pride. Then I learned about the “ticket” created by Dex. Another candidate for the Events chair, Mz Marville was part of his “team” as were others. I was alarmed in hearing about a threat to Cortez, and I contacted her. I asked her if she might consider joining forces with Hotboy in an attempt to garner greater support and counter the effect of the “ticket” against her. They both brought different talents to the job. She suggested that she could concentrate on the fundraising and social events and he had great experience in working in clubs and DJ’s. She even suggested that the next Board divide the job up into two board positions. Not a bad idea. But her dismay at knowing that Mz Marville was allied with “someone running for Board chairman” disturbed her and in her own words...”this process, people changing rules and adding people to their ticket in the middle of an election just seems to completely insult all of the work that has gone into making this election process happen”. The end result was that Cortez pulled out of the election. 
I assume responsibility for bringing news of the "ticket" and the idea of how she might counter that strategy. In my enthusiasm to see a worthy candidate elected, it violated her sense of fairness. In retrospect, it was an error of judgement for a board chair to take this role. I wish I had approached it in a different way. I’m saddened and dismayed that Cortez left the election. She was one of the most qualified and talented people that has run for a Pride office in a long time. My only intention was to present to her a means of countering what I considered a formidable challenge to her candidacy.Unfortunately, my motives and my intention backfired in a way that was wholly unintended. 
After some thought I decided to send the note card out concerning “tickets”. A notecard to the entire membership that specifically stated that there was nothing “illegal” about forming such tickets, but that people might consider voting for people because they are the best person for the job and not because they are part of an alliance. I was hoping to encourage candidates and voters to consider that there was more at stake in this election than getting elected, that Pride’s independent Board was at stake. 
Apparently, this note card, where I mentioned that “a candidate” had dropped out because of the “ticket”, brought considerable and undeserved attention to Cortez and she wrote the Board a private note explaining her reasons for withdrawing and condemning me. I can understand her wrath at me after she had received numerous IM’s from people and her feeling that I used her as an example in my note card. That was never my intention. I believed she was an outstanding candidate - one that would win in a normal election in which the best candidates were chosen based on their qualifications and not their affiliations with other candidates. All I attempted to do was try to suggest a way to counter an organized alliance that was detrimental to her candidacy. 
As one might surmise, Dex was thrilled in receiving her note. Ms Bradiriss' justifiable anger made it look like. I was behind some grand conspiracy. The Board discussed this in a Skype conversation. I wanted to issue an apology to her in public assuming responsibility for my part in this.( I did send her an apology personally). Dex wanted her private note to the Board released to the public. Cortez was contacted and she expressly asked that her note remain private and that she did not want to be bothered about this any longer and that she would continue her PLATINUM sponsorship next year at Pride. 
Evidently, Dex thought he knew better and decided to release her note against her wishes. In doing so Dex deliberately violated Cortez’s trust and unilaterally went against what the Board had decided. This unfortunately resulted in a subsequent communication form Cortez where she pulled entirely out of Pride and will not be participating in future Pride festivals. . Dex's unilateral decision to publish this information - knowing that one of our largest sponsors was already angry and had expressly asked us not to, did not just rob me of an opportunity to apologize for my role, but more importantly illustrates a calculation that the damage it would do - to me - to Cortez - and to the credibility of Second Pride was less important than his own short term gain. 
I have always attempted to lead Pride from the perspective of “what is best for Pride”. I’ve always encouraged others on the board and all members to look at Pride from that perspective. Yes, I may have made some mistakes in this whole affair, but my intentions were doing what I thought “was best for Pride”. I have swept many, MANY situations under the rug concerning Dex but I choose to keep quiet about them rather than bring any discredit to Pride. In a recent blog posting, Dex purports to express his outrage and declares that "when I am chair I will not stand for the lack of transparency".. I agree. In view of the information Dex has chosen to release thus far, , membership deserves to know more about our actions in recent Days. Specifically, Dex has made several attempts within the board both to eliminate his only opposing candidate, and to purge questions he does not feel it is fair for him to answer from the public forums. At the eleventh hour he tried to convince the Board that the cut off needed to be rolled back 12 hours, thus disqualifying his only opposing candidate. In effect allowing him to run unopposed. .. After the Board sent out notices to the membership defining the cut off times and dates which were published for over a week and a half. Dex demanded that we change these cut offs retroactively and eliminate his opposition This after the Board agreed to and sent out notifications to the membership stating the cut off dates and times over tens days before. Of course it is easier to win an election if you are able to remove a candidate through a backdoor maneuver. 
I pose this question... were Dexs’ actions in releasing Cortez’s note against her wishes...”the best for Pride” ? Does it help people make a better choice on who to vote for? Remember, I am not running for office. No.. he released it to discredit me. Dex and I have had issues all year... and I have done my best to keep them quiet for the sake of Pride. His only motivation in releasing this private notecard was to hurt me. I’m a big boy and yes maybe I should get a trip to the “woodshed” but his releasing of her note does nothing to further voter’s knowledge in choosing candidates...it was an attack on me. And I’m sorry that Dex’s and my issues have distracted voters from the real issues. 
There is plenty of blame to go around this year for these elections being reduced to a mockery from BOTH sides. Dex’s “scorched earth” mentality justified by his sense of “principle” has harmed Pride. Damian’s use of an alt asking Dex questions was obvious. 
An independent Board is the only way for Pride to effectively manage the attainment of Prides’ Mission. Would it have been easier this past year for me to manage the Board if I had a bunch of hand picked “yes” men ? Absolutely!! Would it have been the best for Pride. Absolutely not!! 
Independent board members allow for the expression of many more ideas and a more dynamic governing body. Yes, it’s messy. People argue and make their case, but in the end each board member independently makes a decision and in most cases reaches a decision that works best. Each member represents one vote. If one Board member is out in “left field” the collective Board tempers the crazy ideas and comes up with a decent solution. I as the Chairman have many times had to bow to the collective will of the Board and then stand up in the end and speak the Boards wishes. That is leadership. That is doing what is BEST FOR PRIDE. 
All I ask is that each of our members vote based on what is best for Pride. And vote to create an independent board. My time here is over. Term limits and a desire to “get my Second Life back” have brought me back to being just a member, just like the rest of you. Yes I would like to see Pride continue to grow and build upon what myself and many others have done, but that will have to be left to whoever we elect this year. I trust that the collective will of the membership will bring Pride a thoughtful and dynamic and independent board that will move us in a positive direction. I also pray and trust that all of the division and strife over these elections can be but in the past and WE ALL WILL DO WHAT IS BEST FOR PRIDE. 
Doc Spad
Outgoing Chairperson Second Pride"

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

A Russian Icon & Conversation

I was feeling tired, sad and lost today, so when I got home from work I went directly for a nap, which lasted until 10 PM...

When I woke up there was a message waiting for me from Dej, my brother in-law in SecondLife, that he wished to talk with me. But when I logged in he wasn't there at the moment.

Instead I got a call from another trusted friend and when I told him how I was feeling he sent me this picture of a Russian icon showing Saint George fighting the dragon with the words: "Sometimes we must look to the past for inspiration.  Dragons can be overcome and often take many forms."

The picture and the words made me really happy, because I had been thinking along those lines myself, but casting myself as a Don Quijote instead of a Saint George.

Then Dej came online and we had a good, long talk about life, love and the universe, actually everything except motorcycle maintenance. After that I felt less hopeless, sad and tired although very sleepy. 

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

"The True Reasons..."

Today I received in my possession a note card from Cortez Brandriss, who was earlier a candidate for Event Director of the Second Pride 2014 board but who withdrew her candidacy.

The note card is unmodifiable and was according to its properties created by Ms Brandriss, despite this I also sought to get a confirmation from Ms Brandriss. I did this before having read the last sentence in this note card, for which I ask Ms Brandriss' forgiveness.

My main reasons for posting this are twofold, Firstly because I love Second Pride and want it to grow and flourish for many years to come and, secondly, because I believe that the membership of Second Pride has the right to know what is happening behind closed doors. 

I will post it without any further personal comment, other than saying that these SP election seems to be turning out to be extremely ugly and messy, with personal attacks, anonymous bloggers and other monkey business. 
Marius Watz "Web Science artwork"

"7/29/2013 Re: Second Pride Election
C/c Second Pride Current Board


 To Doc Spad,

 I have been very confused as to why, what was supposed to be a very quiet and simple withdrawl from this election has turned to a large population of Pride Candidates and Voters coming to me concerned with my departure from the race.

 I was dismayed to find the answer to my question in a notice, sent by you on 7/27 to the entire Second Pride Community, that my reasons for withdrawing from this race were because of a ticket system.

 I tried to make this very clear when we first spoke, and I will clarify again now-- I withdrew from the Second Pride election because of *our* conversation-- a conversation in which the current Chair of Pride, yourself, came to me with an attempt to coerce me to join forces on a ticket with someone I have not ever met, as a means of throwing the vote. I withdrew my candidacy because I was uncomfortable knowing that the Chair of Second Pride was so willing to discuss other candidates with me, someone you barely knew. I withdrew because I felt that I was being asked to be a pawn in a dramatic game of manipulating the vote. The unprofessional freedom you took in that conversation was what caused me to withdraw my candidacy.

 I ran for Second Pride because I admired the outward professionalism of it's team of chairs, and I wanted to do something important for the LGBT community. Our conversation was steeped in drama that I did not want to be a part of, concerning people I do not know and have never met.

 I submitted a formal and professional withdrawl to Baz that did not go into these reasons, only to learn you have distributed a notice that has informed the entire Second Pride Group I left the race over the ticket system. Through this notice, you have not only publicly spoken for me with information that is not true, but you have also publicly pitted me and my withdrawl against the candidates in this entire election.

 I am outraged by the way you have handled this matter, and at the fact you have now brought me into the drama of Second Pride, when I have done nothing but gracefully bowed out of a situation you made uncomfortable for me to begin with.

 Please do not use my withdrawl as any future means to burden this election.

 With this notecard, I would like to officially announce the true reasons for my withdrawl. I ask that I am no longer contacted by any member of Second Pride about this election.

 Sincerely,Cortez Brandriss

 C/c: Second Pride Board. Kyle Beckett, SquirtN Wonder, Tylo Mabellon, Dextrum Boucher, Kharissa Indigo, Mr Gracemount, Baz Ceawlin, Tootsie Nootan"

Guyke Vanishes

SecondLife - or perhaps it is the viewers - sometimes play tricks on us. It is difficult to remember that everyone does not see the world as we see it and that we don't see what they are seeing.

On Sunday evening I way reminded of this when Butch, Guyke and I had gathered for a quiet talk before we went too our respective lonely first life beds.

We were all at Butch's place as he wanted to show us the new house he was building for himself and decided to go down to the water for a talk and watch the sunset. Butch had set up a place with two beanbags facing due west, so he and I sat in those and then Butch hauled out another beanbag for Guyke to sit on.

Below you see Guyke walking towards the beanbag to sit on it.
Once Guyke had sat down he completely disappeared from my sight (see the two pictures below)
I could still see Guyke talking in local chat though and when I told the other two they did not believe me, so I had to take the last picture above to prove it to them.

Then for some reason I opened my "People Nearby" (which Guyke insists on calling "radar") and on it i still saw Guyke's name appear but on a greater distance than he should be. So I clicked on his name in "People Nearby" and the camera zoomed over to him. He was far out in the water a couple of meters under the surface in the sit position he got from the beanbag animation. (See picture below). I had to pass that picture around to the guys also for them to believe me, the untrusting so-and-so's.
Well, after Guyke had stood up and then sat down on the beanbag again all was well and the viewer-drama was over! Everyone was once again showing up where we expected them to be.

We then went back to do what we had intended to do in the first place, and watched the amazing sunset while we had a leisurely talk about everything and nothing until it was time to go to bed.

Monday, July 29, 2013

My Son & A Beanbag

Remind me to someday tell you the story of this beanbag and how my son Guyke vanished.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Is There A "Ticket" & Why Weren't We Informed?

A message from Doc Spad, the outgoing chairperson of the Second Pride board of 2013, was sent out in the Second Pride group yesterday:

"I would like to share a few of my thoughts with the rest of the membership concerning the upcoming election. 
One of the best qualified candidates just removed herself from the running after learning about a “ticket” that was created by some of the other candidates.

There is nothing that forbids any candidate or group of candidates from forming a “ticket” but it does bring to question whether a ticket is built for reasons of bringing the best qualified people together or is the ticket being used to bring together various factions of the community to ensure that the whole ticket is elected regardless of who is best qualified.

These elections are for the next year’s leadership of Pride. We should all want the BEST candidates to be elected to further the Mission and the goals of Second Pride.
If a ticket is put together to garner votes from the various groups people belong to.... then we are not doing what is best for Pride.... we are just building support just to get elected.
I would encourage everyone involved in these elections to take to heart that Pride is on the brink of fulfilling its goals of unifying our community and really doing a great deal of good for all of us.

I would hope that whether you vote for a “ticket” or not that your choices are well thought out and you are voting for the best qualified people to lead Pride.

Vote for whom you think answers the questions on the forums best, who you think will serve the Board and Pride the best. Who you honestly think will lead Second Pride to greater heights and greater accomplishment. Ask yourself....what is best for Pride? And make sure THAT is the reason you vote for any particular person.

Thanks Doc Spad
Your outgoing Chairperson"

Following this message I have today asked all the candidates still running in the election for the board of Second Pride 2014 these questions.

"In a notice in the Second Pride group yesterday, the outgoing chairperson Doc Spad informs us that a group of candidates have formed an alliance, a.k.a. ticket, in this election. 

  1. Have you formed a ticket – however formally or informally - with any of the other candidates running in this year’s election?
  1. If so, who are the other candidates on this ticket?
  1. If so, why did you choose not to disclose this information to the voters?

Respectfully,
Bock McMillan"

What A Great Party!

What a great evening I had, and I hope everyone else did too.

Avatars came dropping in and out all during the evening and I even missed greeting some of them properly, which I beg their pardon for. There was simply too many to speak to and too much happening that my head was coming unhinged. So many hot men and beautiful women showing as much skin as they dared in the mixed company - and some a bit more than that...

Thank you to all those of you who could come and share this moment with me. To the one's who could not come, I hope to see you another time soon. All of you have my love!

I would like to especially thank my two amazing DJs, DJ sirhc DeSantis and DJ Jared Palianta, for their dedication and for the excellent entertainment they provided!

I was so busy all four hours that I - alas - did not have any opportunity to take pictures but will have to rely on the kindness of friends and other bloggers. (I will post the links as i see them)

My sweet friend and legal advisor Diana Gilderoy sent me a whole bunch of pictures, I am showing you a fraction of them here.

Link:

  1. My Avatar's Name Is Apmel; "Housewarming after sad news" (The sad news was that immediately before the party started, Apmelito received news that his friend Sven Idyll, a Swedish SecondLife avatar and blogger, had been found dead at his home in first life.)
  2. Ziggy On The Edge Of Second Life; Second Life: Party Party Everyday


P.S. Despite Guyke's, Lee's and my own efforts to show the most skin, I should think we can all agree that that contest was won hands down my Apmel's friend ush Underwood in her amazing "mankini" for women (pic on Apmels blog).

Here is the result of my tinting efforts by the way. I think it looks pretty good and when I got the gold shoelace on as a cockring it worked even better.