Showing posts with label poke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poke. Show all posts

Thursday, February 4, 2016

EXCLUSIVE: Confessions of A Cheater

It was recently revealed that there has been a widespread use of so called "Auto Poke Back"-scripts on the social media site Facebook.

The scandal erupted just a few days ago when one of the cheaters confessed his deceitful and perfidious behavior on his timeline.

According to the confession this European of noble descent, has installed an extension available for Google Chrome in his browser and had minimized the web page but forgot to close it properly when he went to sleep. This meant that his friends and acquaintances on Facebook got poked throughout the night and the next day, until he got home from work in the evening.

It seems he understood what had occurred when he received a large amount of messages concerning his poking.

This blogs intrepid reporter has tracked down the culprit and with great finesse and tenacity succeeded in persuading him to agree to this exclusive interview. The only conditions made was that neither his name or his hereditary or acquired titles should be mentioned. We have therefore decided to - for the purpose of this interview only - call him Lord X.
Lord X at his summer mansion
Photography by Tomais Ashdene
Bock in SecondLife (BiSL): "Thank you so much for giving us this interview Lord X."

Lord X: "Well, it wasn't as if I had much of a choice was it? You have been badgering me incessantly and sticking to me like dogshit under my shoe."

BiSL: "Now, now... It cannot really have been as bad as that!"

Lord X: "Yeah, I am sure you wouldn't think so, but I am giving you this interview just to be able to take a crap in peace without getting a microphone stuck under my nose through the window of the bathroom or getting woken up in the middle of the night by you crawling out from under my bed and sticking the same bloody microphone in my face... I think my assessment is fairly accurate. Could we move on? Your five minutes will be up soon!"

BiSL: "Hmmm OK, lets agree to disagree on my use of legitimate tenacity to get this shocking news out to our readers. Hmmmm so, please tell us why you took the shameful step of using the cheating "Auto Poke Back"-script?"

Lord X: "Are you serious? We are talking about a mind blowingly silly game on a lousy social media site. Aren't you really blowing this thing completely out of all reasonable proportions?"

BiSL: "I believe it would be more suitable to show some humility in the face of the anxiety and uproar you have created among your friends. As we understand it some of them are extremely hurt by your actions, even to the point where they are receiving treatment for PTSD."

Lord X: "It's effing unbelievable! I have too many friends and acquaintances to poke manually so I got the poke-ma-call-it to share the love without spending 20 hours a day on poking on Facebook. This is insane!"

BiSL: "You seem to be totally unrepentant concerning your cheating and the hurt you've caused your sweet and loving friends...?"

Lord X: "Yeah, actually I am if they truly have reacted the way you describe it, I don't want anything to do with them ever again. I hope they drop me as friends on Facebook! Now, your five minutes are up, get your sniveling ass out of here before I ask my guards to throw you in the sea..."

---

This recording of the interview was dropped in our email today from an unknown source. We have not yet learned of the whereabouts of our reporter, he has been reported as a missing avatar to the SLPD (SecondLife Police Department.)

Saturday, February 1, 2014

I Hate Facebook Games

Below you see a list of the Games Apps I have blocked on Facebook, in the last three days (since I found where to do it in my settings).

Please get the hint, do not invite me to play games on Facebook!

...but please feel free to poke me as much as you wish...

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Foul Play, Mass Hysteria or Gas, Says Laird

You have all most likely seen the many claims directed at the Much Honored Bock McMillan, laird of Southern Charm, prince of Cascade Falls, Sovereign Ruler of the Commonwealth of Southern Enchantment Region and Outer Territories and finally UN appointed Protector of the Solace Island and Mount Whitney sims in SecondLife, for having impregnated a host of men - and indeed even a few women - through his indiscriminate"poking" habits.

This blogs editor in chief took the opportunity to confront his lairdship about the claims yesterday, while the laird was lounging around at his mansion with a stunning swain (not yet identified).

"It's all a crock of shit!", the laird said while slowly caressing the small of the back of his favorite. "First of all there is no scientific evidence whatsoever which proves that Facebook-poking can lead to pregnancies in humans or avatars", he continued with a soft smile towards his handsome beau, "These people have either been using faulty methods or tampered with the test results. It may even be an outburst of mass hysteria or - come to think of it - flatulence caused by gluten sensitivity or something else they may have eaten." 

"You can inform the scoundrels that I have already put my legal team, under the leadership of the notorious Attorney of the Realm Diana Gilderoy, onto this They should be careful of which claims they make or they may risk being sued for slander or worse. The dear girl will shred them to pieces. Now go away, you tiresome person, I have no more time for this. This beautiful lad needs, wants and deserves my full attention!"

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Actions Have Consequences

My brief modelling career for a poster for the BM Ballroom turned out to have some unexpected ramifications. When I was leaving the photo shoot I poked my modelling partner Eeva Rasmuson and the demon photographer Kahvy Sands.

Both of them now claim to be carrying my unborn children. This is what Eeva tells me in an offline message, "Bock you should really be careful when you poke...now see what you did!!!" 

[07:37] Paternity test: Please wait, Paternity test in Progress.....
[07:37] Paternity test: Processing......
[07:38] Paternity test: Congratulations! The father of your unborn DAUGHTERS is: Bock McMillan!
[07:38] ενα: omg
[07:38] Kahvy Sands: Wait... daughterS?
[07:38] ενα: He has been busy poking us 
[07:38] Kahvy Sands: You're having twins!
[07:38] ενα: OMG
[07:38] ενα faints

Perhaps I should consider wearing a condom when I poke in the future, but I was thinking this was just some innocent fun... Who would have thought it would come to this?

Thursday, September 12, 2013

I Am Leaving Facebook - Again (Updated)

This is just to inform you all that I have decided to drop out of Facebook again. It will most likely happen during the coming weekend.

If I remember correctly from the last time I left, my account will remain on Facebook for two weeks after I have deactivated it  before it is removed.

I rejoined Facebook as a favor to my friend NE0 Timeless and stayed on much longer than I had originally intended, but now I am completely fed up with being easily accessible for certain people there even though I love most of you.

The thing I will miss the most is probably "poking".

---

Update
OK after posting this I have received a lot of feedback from friends and people I did not know before. Three things have been said that have made me reconsider my decision to leave Facebook.

  1. "If you leave, they win"
  2. "Noli illegitimi carborundum" (Mock-Latin for "Don't let the bastards wear you down") and
  3. "Block them, its easy".

I am now thinking about it and will let you know as soon as I am done.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

"Nobody Pokes Anymore", He Said

My bosom buddy Apmel Goosson, a.k.a. +Lennart Nilsson commented on my post Facebook Error, see exhibit 1 below.
Exhibit 1
So as the good man I am, I did not wish to leave him un-poked for a second longer than necessary and rushed onto Facebook to give him a good poke, lo and behold this is the response I got from Facebook, see exhibit 2 below.
Exhibit 2
Apmelito, the reason "nobody pokes (you) anymore" is evident, you do not return the pleasure and by doing so cannot receive anymore delicious pokes!