Touched by Ars

I had been dreading this day for weeks, the first anniversary of the day that my Ars/my Doug passed away.

Everytime I thought about this day my stomach bundled up into a hard knot and I got more confused and worried than I usually can be at my very worst.

It got so bad I had to delegate the planning of the details of this gathering of Ars family and closest friends to my son Guyke and my sister Millimina. The two of them of course did an excellent job, we think alike the three of us and our tastes are similar. They checked in from time to time about some detail, I always confirmed their ideas.

I shouldn't have been so afraid, Ars was watching over me and all the others of his family and close friends. We who had loved him and who had been fortunate enough to be blessed by his love.

The day started out splendidly when I received an answer to my invitation to Doug's sisters in real life to join us for the gathering. Sadly they couldn't join us but the mail was not at all a rejection, it was full of love, caring and shared emotions.

In anticipation of the gathering in the evening I wanted to be well rested, so I slept in long and took many catnaps during the day. Each time I dreamed of Ars. Well, I had one nightmare about a cat jumping up at my face to scratch my eyes out also but mostly I dreamed of my Ars. I heard his laughter and I heard his voice in my dreams.

When the time for the gathering finally came they all rallied in to support me and to be supported by me and each other on this day. 

Dejerrity, who came early to have a few moments with Ars by himself, Millimina, Jeb, Andrey, Sarco, Yannis, Guyke and Janttu. Orchid, Yannis wife, dropped in for a brief visit also.

We had a truly magical and wonderful evening as we shared many happy memories about my darling Ars and some sad ones to. A few misunderstandings were cleared up. We laughed a lot and I often had tears in my eyes. but the tears were both of joy and sadness. All of us who were there were loved by Ars in some way and we all loved him right back. He touched our lives and still does.

Photo courtesy of Millimina Salamander

I never once wept - not until afterwards - and then it was more out of relief and when all the apprehension and tension left my body. 

I am so grateful to all those who were there with me at this time in my life. What could have been a terrible and lonely day, become a day of love, loving support, caring and sweet memories. My deepest gratitude goes to you all for being an important part of my life, I love you all dearly!

Ars forever, forever Ars!