My Soul is Intact

I and my beloved vampire

If you are a vampire in SecondLife, I guess it can sometimes be as difficult to admit to that to close family members - and the rest of the world - as it can be to come out as gay. Well yesterday one of my beloved family members told me he had recently become a vampire and had allowed himself to be bitten. It was a surprising revelation indeed and I did not see it coming.

In instant message my family member only told me that he had something he would like to talk with me about and could we please meet for a hug and a talk before I went to the party at Solace Island. I said of course he was welcome over. After the welcome hug, we talked on a bit about this and that and then he cautiously told me the news. 

Since rather early on in my second life I have had contact with many vampires. Those were the rogue kind who just wanted to pounce me and sink their teeth into my delicious neck to take my soul. These constant, tiresome, attacks made me put on a garlic necklace because I was fed up with their unwanted attention. 

I and Ars have also had close friends to the family, like Yannis Martynov and his beautiful wife Orchid Arado, who were kind, respectful and dignified vampires. My family vampires coming out surprised me a bit, I must admit, but changed nothing for me in our relationship. I know from earlier that although his soul may now be lost, his heart will always be pure gold. 

As I had always wondered if the garlic treatment had really worked or if I had just been lucky after using the necklace, I asked my vampire about it. He showed me this message from his vampire-HUD:

[11:46] HUD [Thirst::Bloodlines] 3.4: Bock McMillan has worn the garlic necklace, please don't disturb them.

I was really happy that I finally got some proof that the treatment had actually worked. I then continued to ask him if he could possibly see if I still had my soul intact or if it had been taken by one of the early attacks.

My beloved family member told me that he cannot send requests at all when someone has worn the necklace. And as the HUD still told him I was protected I still had my soul, if my soul had been taken earlier the garlic treatment would not work to protect me.

So there you see, I have proof that my soul is intact. How many can say that? 

And if you are mean to me, beware! I now have a vampire who loves me and will bite you if you don´t behave.

(I have not revealed my family member by name here because I firmly believe it is up to him to decide when he comes out and to whom.)

Do You Speak Draconian?

I have been thinking about my post "Whats in A Name?"

I feel that perhaps it could be read sort of like a gay anthem, "I am what I am and what I am needs no excuses" and some people may have gotten the impression that I am completely against role playing as a concept for everyone. Well, I am not!

Role playing doesn't suit me, with my limited imagination and needs, but I totally respect and accept that others are more evolved, have other needs and are more imaginative in unfolding their inner spirits.

The BDSM-scene in SecondLife is huge I am told, but to me it holds no allure. Pain or even the thought of causing or enduring it - aside from more or less gentle nibbling - is a complete turnoff for me. That being said does however not mean that I cannot understand why others can and do find it enticing. One of the most prominent Swedes on the SecondLife BDSM scene, Stoltz Sinatra, appeared in a Swedish television program last week. He was a perfectly charming man who spoke about his interest for electro-sex with passion and humor.

Other common forms of role playing in SecondLife involve fairies (the kind with pointed ears and butterfly wings, not the LGBT ones), vampires, furries, angels and even dragons. I must admit an almost total lack of knowledge as to what these groups are up to, except for the fact that fairies are great builders

As far as I know I am friends with two vampires (Yannis and his wife Orchid), a tomcat (sirhc, although I am not sure he qualifies as a furry) and a dragon.

The dragon I am acquainted with is Irwin Blachere, who is one of the friendliest and most mild mannered souls in SecondLife - or even outside of it. We have been talking for a few years now, mostly in group chat about anything between heaven and earth but sometimes in IM about personal experiences.

Strangely enough it wasn't until today when I roamed the Internet looking for pictures of hir that I realized that Irwin is a wellknown persona, who even has hir own article on WikiFur: Irwin (of the Blackheart Ridge).

Actually before reading the article I didn't even know that dragons were a species of furries, I always thought they were reptilian. (I did not find a good picture of Irwin on the Internet, so I had to go through my own archives until i found the one I am using here.)

Bock McMillan breathes: Oh in conclusion, dragons do not speak, they use telepathy!

A Whole Lotta Kissing!

The time for the 1st annual International Kiss-A-Swede Day in SecondLife finally was finally here.

Before it started I was wondering how the f**k I could come up with such a crazy idea, but that feeling passed once I had Millimina and Vampi at my side and we together waited for the kissers to start coming come to us.

Millimina and I before the party started (Photo courtesy of Millimina Salamander)

Kissable Vampi in a beautiful furry skin

 With an event like this there is no knowing who and how many will come, you just have to take it in your stride and go with the flow and most importantly just have fun!

People were coming and going all through the two hours, which is just as it should be on this kind of event, many I had missed seeing in a while showed up and some I thought might come didn't but thats to be expected also. Things happen in real life and in SecondLife, we just cannot be everywhere - and of course sometimes we don´t want to be at a particular place either.

The main thing is that those of us that were there had fun, and I myself for sure had an excellent time and kissed like crazy! There was only one dumbass loser who declined my kiss, it did not spoil my fun although I wondered about who shows up at a kissathon and refuses to kiss?

Anyway we were close to 25 avatars for about an hour and about 15 the rest of the time. I had an awesome time.

Thanks to everyone who came and special thanks to Vampi and Millimina for helping kiss a few!

Pictures from the event can also be seen on
Magasin Millimina,
Min avatar heter Apmel and
Blanche´s Arena

Now to my own kiss-fest pictures!

Kissing Carol

My boys Janttu and Guyke (Photo courtesy of Millimina Salamander)

Kissing Sven while Jon Rhiannyr dances

Me pouncing Carols hubby Timothy

Kissing sweet furry Zeba

Jon Rhiannyr pounces me after knowing me for less than 5 minutes

My bosom buddy sirhc, who was DJ-ing at another party at the same time

The wonderful Ziga and her Em - in amazing outfits as always

Not sure whom I am attacking on this picture, could be Sarco or Jeb  -  but it looks good...

Pounced by Jon again

Pounced by Blanche

Cuddling with Jon in the makeout room

Kissing Blanche again

Kissing Sven in the makeout room

Kissing Jon in the makeout room

Touched by Ars

I had been dreading this day for weeks, the first anniversary of the day that my Ars/my Doug passed away.

Everytime I thought about this day my stomach bundled up into a hard knot and I got more confused and worried than I usually can be at my very worst.

It got so bad I had to delegate the planning of the details of this gathering of Ars family and closest friends to my son Guyke and my sister Millimina. The two of them of course did an excellent job, we think alike the three of us and our tastes are similar. They checked in from time to time about some detail, I always confirmed their ideas.

I shouldn't have been so afraid, Ars was watching over me and all the others of his family and close friends. We who had loved him and who had been fortunate enough to be blessed by his love.

The day started out splendidly when I received an answer to my invitation to Doug's sisters in real life to join us for the gathering. Sadly they couldn't join us but the mail was not at all a rejection, it was full of love, caring and shared emotions.

In anticipation of the gathering in the evening I wanted to be well rested, so I slept in long and took many catnaps during the day. Each time I dreamed of Ars. Well, I had one nightmare about a cat jumping up at my face to scratch my eyes out also but mostly I dreamed of my Ars. I heard his laughter and I heard his voice in my dreams.

When the time for the gathering finally came they all rallied in to support me and to be supported by me and each other on this day. 

Dejerrity, who came early to have a few moments with Ars by himself, Millimina, Jeb, Andrey, Sarco, Yannis, Guyke and Janttu. Orchid, Yannis wife, dropped in for a brief visit also.

We had a truly magical and wonderful evening as we shared many happy memories about my darling Ars and some sad ones to. A few misunderstandings were cleared up. We laughed a lot and I often had tears in my eyes. but the tears were both of joy and sadness. All of us who were there were loved by Ars in some way and we all loved him right back. He touched our lives and still does.

Photo courtesy of Millimina Salamander

I never once wept - not until afterwards - and then it was more out of relief and when all the apprehension and tension left my body. 

I am so grateful to all those who were there with me at this time in my life. What could have been a terrible and lonely day, become a day of love, loving support, caring and sweet memories. My deepest gratitude goes to you all for being an important part of my life, I love you all dearly!

Ars forever, forever Ars!

Musical Memories - Swedish Bloggers Relay

Cobra Starship - I Kissed a Boy (Music Video) from Max Welch on Vimeo.

This is a song I remember from the summer of 2008 (Yeah I know I rezzed in March 2007 but my memory is lousy about those first months - I dont think I actually found the music button until I met Ars...) This song was really huge on the SL gay scene! Ahh those were the days...

I remember them well, they were all about Ars, Ars, Ars, Ars and well Ars again and a bit of Guyke and Andrey too. I thought of Ars by day and dreamt of him by night. I hurried home from work to be with him, I stayed up too late to be with him.

Those were happy days! We worked on our house, we worked on our parcels at "Southern Charm", we hung out at "Ninth Wave Island" with Andrey, sarco, Yannis, Harley, Guyke and Orchid and the rest of the gang and their fans. We listened to all the "Sarco Sound" DJ´s as they trying out their music and sets.

My First Vampire Wedding

Of course I know a few vampires in Second Life, who doesn´t? Vampires, ogres, demons and all kinds of scary creatures are rampant in SL, along with some angels and furries too. But tonight was the night I was going to take part in my first festive event among the creatures of darkness, rather than just visiting a vampire sim.

The dress code
I had been thinking of this function ever since Orchid Arado and Yannis Martynov sent me the invitation to their wedding. The bride and groom asked for goth clothing in the invitation, but both of them told me to turn up in my family tartans anyway. They both know me well, and are accustomed to my tartan fetisch.

As a good guest always should, I wanted to follow the guidelines anyway and had thought out a brilliant plan to accommodate both the asked for attire and my fetisch. I was going to buy the beautiful Balmoral tartan at my favourite tartan store in SL, Bellissima. The Bellissima store is owned and operated by the supreme tartan maker Elle74 Zaftig. She has been a friend of mine ever since I first custom ordered my family tartan, The McMillan.

The Balmoral tartan is black, white,red and grey and would fit the goth theme nicely I thought. Unfortunately when I went to the store I found that Elle had moved it and had not yet set up all her tartans at the new location. What a blunder on my part, I should of course have talked to her when I got the idea instead of waiting til the last hours before the ceremony! Anyhow I ended up going to the function in my family rags.

The gift

I thought long and hard on this issue also. What was a good gift that both of them could enjoy? Then I remembered the "TenderLove 3.0 Animator" by Kizmet Kidd. (Uhmmmm no, she is not a friend of mine - yet!).  This was the perfect gift I thought.

My heterosexual friends, both women and men, praise it highly and tell me it is the most realistic, thoughtful, intimate sexual experience.

I found it on Xstreet, yes I am shopping there again altho I swore never to do so when they decided about the new rules, but I am simply to lazy sometimes.

Now I encountered a new obstacle! The damn thing was no transfer, which meant I just couldn´t simply buy it and wrap it up and give it to one of them. Instead I had to wait for one of them to come online before sending it. But to whom should I send it, Orchid or Yannis?

I called for a crisis conference in the swedish group chat "Swedish People in SL", the people there are awesome and have always come to my aid whenever I needed it. After some discussion I was told by the girls it would be best to send it to Yannis, as the guy needs to get on the HUD first anyway.

So when Yannis came online about two hours prior to the ceremony I sent the gift to him. I also made two gift boxes to give to each of them after the ceremony. The gift boxes only contained a congratulatory message and informed both of them about the gift I had already sent to Yannis. The message ended with the three rules I think should guide every relationship in SL, or RL for that matter.

1. Respect yourself

2. Respect your partner

3. Respect the love you have for each other.

There! All preparations were done and I was finally ready for the event.

The ceremony
I arrived to the venue of the ceremony about 20 minutes early, which was lucky because the lag was terrible from the start and didn´t get better as more guests came into the sim. I was at the venue in total about 120 minutes and still after all that time some of the textures and avatars hadn´t loaded.

I had to pull down the drawdistance for fear of crashing, which had an adverse effect on the quality of the pictures I took but I will post them anyhow.

Entering the church I met the largest assembly of vampires, ogres, demons and other monsters that I have ever encountered. They all looked amazingly beautiful with some of the most creative avatars I have seen. I felt a bit like "fresh meat" or "fresh blood" but they were all in non-combative mode and very nice to me. There were a few others in human avatars, but all of them had the vampire-titler over their heads giving their health status so I guess I was the only non-vampire present.

The master of ceremonies (above)

The ceremony was rather traditional, albeit with a few minor deviations. Not unlike many other similar events in SL, the guests found the need to constantly interrupt the ceremony with "emotions", speach or sounds, even if they had been asked to shut up already at the beginning.

Still it was a very beautiful and touching ceremony! Orchid and Yannis looked stunning, as they always do. I was happy and relieved to see my hero finally taken into safe harbor in the loving arms of Orchid!

Love you both, guys!

Have a long and happy partnership for many, many years to come!

The past, the present and the future

Yesterday was sort of a crazy day, but I had alot of fun!

I was invited to the bachelor party of my old friend and hero Yannis Martynov.

"Yannis in a human skin"

When I first met Yannis in 2007 he was one of the many awesome DJ´s in the Sarco Sound Group. This was for a long time one of the largest and most successful DJ groups in SL, which at one time had 19 DJs in all timezones. The group was created by my Ars and his friend sarcophilus ("sarco") Halderman.

Yannis was already at that time a vampire in SL and he had also already hooked up with the beautiful and sexy Orchid Arado whom he will be marrying later today. I will be at the wedding of course and have been given special permission by both the bride and the groom to come in my family tartan, thus diverting from the otherwise requested goth style.

Yesterdays bachelor party was an interesting affair for me as a gay man. It took place in a stripp club on a vampire sim. The DJ played a very interesting mix of music that was fun to listen to and to dance to, Although the only ones dancing where myself, the two female strippers, the female DJ and one other guy. The rest of the men - I presume straight - stood or sat around the dancefloor watching.

The groom arrived 75 minutes late to the reception claiming there had been a power outage in Athens so he could not log in. Well atleast he got there finally. (Which is more than I can say about the last straight bachelor party I was invited to by a famous swedish singer and songwriter in SL with the initials B.J.)

I was equiped with a "boob-hat", a "boob-beer" and a "boob icicle".Fortunately there was not a photographer around...or not that I know off. I left the party when things started to heat up with lap dances and the girls getting undressed and ...

Part of my reason for leaving was that at that time my darling brother in law (BIL) Andrey Messmer started up his set at "The Week-end Nightclub" on one of the Boystown sims and I wanted to be there to support him. This was his comeback as a DJ in SL after a long absence.

My darling BIL gave us a great mix of music and talked to us with his sultry brazilian voice, damned hot! The guys were very friendly although I think there were alot of hot IMs going on - as always! It was very nice of sarco and his partner Harley Homewood to turn up to support Andrey at this set.

I am so looking forward to listening much more to Andrey and his music and voice in the future.

But first things first - the wedding today!

I would like to send my all best wishes to Orchid and Yannis on this their wedding day! Love you guys!

P.S. Yes, I know my posts are toooooooooooo long for some of you, but sorry its the rambling way my brain works. I´ll try doing better next time...perhaps...