I cannot stress enough that this post is not intended to hurt anyone at all. No incrimination's or accusations are intended. No one is lacking or needs to improve or change anything about themselves or what they do or do anything differently or make changes in their priorities or make different choices.
----
The questions I am asking myself are:
What do you do when the center of your universe is gone, when the planetary system that made you "you" disintegrates?
How do you handle the fact that the force that filled you with energy and that kept the different parts of your solar system in place is gone?
Do you, can you and should you even try to rebuild that which was unique? Or do you try to move on to something completely different? How do you go on or do you just settle for a lackluster existence?
Where and how do you find your new sun, your new center, or let yourself be found again?
With Ars I was filled with energy, light and happiness, I could sparkle with the light he filled me with. Without him I only glimmer when I am angry. What I have realized so far is that I am more of a relationship junkie than I ever thought before, I feed of the energy from others, it seems I have none of my own.
I am not sure I want your answers or your advice, but do not hesitate if you want to share how you handled a similar situation
Dont think there is a certain cure.You loved, you lost and that hurts.Will that get "better"? -no.Will that hurt less? -yes.Will this go away?-never.Lost my first love in a car accident ,I was 16 years old.I never got "over it" ever.But i did love again.The pain is less,but the memory is the same, the missing hole is just as big as it was then.
ReplyDeleteWould he have liked that i dedicated my whole life to grief-def. NO.So whats the option really ?
Thanks for sharing, Ziga dear!
ReplyDelete