It´s been almost two years now since my Ars passed away, and I am doing much better much of the time - really - but then sometimes its like my "energy bubble" just bursts and I end up wasted. Not nearly as often as before and not for as long periods as earlier, but still its like running into a wall. I am fed up with it, this is nothing like my usual self. I want to get back to normal - now!
After the rush the last week or so to first make up my mind whether or not to do the pageant and then to follow through with it I feel exhausted, much like a wet puddle as the Swedish saying goes (hence the illustration to this post).
I think the event was an unexpectedly great success and the support from all the people who came and joined in the fun was overwhelming and made me really happy. The only thing that didn't work as planned was my singing in voice.
All the while after I had decided to go through with the pageant even if it would only be Taco and myself walking I had this nagging thought, "Test your headset, man!", but somehow something always came in the way. It was really exasperating for me when the damn thing didn't work for the occasion because I had been rehearsing myself all day at work (my co-workers must have thought I was going completely bonkers, but they are used to me by now).
I love all of you who were there and all those of you who couldn't be there for some reason or another but gave me and the others your support. With our little happening we did accomplish to keep the tradition of celebrating Lucia at the Swedish Embassy in SecondLife unbroken, that is well enough for now!
Sadness and sorrow has its own way, sometimes its so mutch of a stoke to your inner cord.. it will not heal.To have as a mission to get of antidepressant pills is not a goal.Some need that for the rest of their lives, like insulin .
ReplyDeleteNothing wrong with that? main thing is HOW do u feel most of the time, if the answer is ok? Than its ok:)