Monday, January 9, 2012

Should SecondLife be "Pleasantville"?

If you haven't seen or heard about the film "Pleasantville" (url) please read up before continuing.

First of all let me make it completely clear that I am not a behavioral scientist or anything like that. I have, however, in my line of work as a lawyer in first life, dealt with other peoples conflicts all my professional life. And I have had a few in my own personal life too.

I have also been taught by my parents, my community and my schools, to speak up and take a stand if and when I encountered anything I did not agree with. To state my case and share my opinions and arguments.

Taking a stand and showing your position by necessity creates a conflict. In SecondLife every sign of conflict is dismissed and belittled as "drama" and that is viewed as a bad thing.

Especially since I started blogging about my first and second life I have met the attitude "Can´t we always be friends all the time, everyone?". If and when a conflict showed signs of brewing or was becoming apparent I have been told by close friends and people I love and respect, "walk away", "ignore it" or "don´t acknowledge it" or something of that sort.

In my not so humble opinion conflict is drama and conflict is life! The difficult trick is of course to discuss what has been said or done, not what the person saying or doing something is. It does not promote discussion or reaching a consensus to stamp your opponent.with "He/she is stupid", "He/she is a drama queen", "He is a man, all men are animals and always try to oppress me and other women".

Honestly I can say that in all my 42 years in first life I have only one person with whom I have an entrenched and bitter relationship. In my almost five years of SecondLife I have strangely enough succeeded in accumulating four such relationships through - from my point of view - personal attacks on myself or someone I love. I am sure that the opponent has the reversed view.

I would hate to live in a world of fake harmony and stifling pleasantness, but it would be great if we could acknowledge that conflict is healthy, beneficial, creative and absof***inglutely sane! Conflict forces us to rethink our values, find solutions, forgive and all-in-all evolve as human beings by taking a position and saying what way we want to move. By individual evolution we help the society we live in to evolve and become a better place.

My response to my own initial question is therefore a resounding, Hell no!
But the difference between me and those seeking a drama free and pleasant second life could be that they are just in it for a few hours of entertainment, while to me it actually is a second life. I´m not sure.


  1. I second that!

    What a surprise?:-)

    /Tina (PG)

  2. I have the same values in second life as I have in my real life. If we met and became freinds I would be totally honest in my dealings with you; if I disagree I will say and if I agree I might say. I would hope we are never in conflict but "drama" is a part of life.


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