On "VPL" - Updated

My husband Tomais steadfastly insists that he is not funny, but I disagree completely. No man has ever before consistently made me laugh so often and so much as he does.

A couple of nights ago, while we were talking on Skype as usual, Tomais suddenly mentioned the abbreviation VPL, don't ask me how and why because the conversation leading up to it has been wiped off my teflon-memory. 

Jon Hamm,
The King of VPL

My understanding and knowledge of the English language is quite good, even if I say so myself, but it is not my mother-tongue so there are still some unchartered areas that become apparent occasionally. VPL was one of those, I had never heard the expression before so I asked him what it meant.

Jon Hamm, a.k.a.
"The Rosetta Bulge"

"It means ´Visible Penis Line´", my darling told me with a serious voice, as I exploded with laughter.

Then as he continued telling me about the rules I almost croaked, "Underwear, bicycle pants or wet boxers don't count, because anyone can show a VPL in those outfits". (This means that my friend Kandinsky's favorite picture of a Polish bicycle team is out of the contest, see my previous post Re: Bicycle Pants.)

According to writer Christian Zamora at Buzzfeed, when he ranks The 21 Most Important Celebrity Bulges Of All Time: "All bulges are ranked and measured on a scale of zero to five Jon Hamm's. Each bulge [is] evaluated on its outline, girth, and prominence to determine its rank and the number of Hamm's it deserve[s]".

As far as I know there is no equivalent term for this phenomenon in the Swedish language, except possibly the Swedish words for "poseur", "indiscreet" or "show-off". That fact does however not mean that we haven't noticed the phenomenon before.

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Update 2015-06-10
For those who want to see more VPL you should visit the Tumblr-blog "Visible Penis Line", although from what I could see at a quick glance most of the pictures posted seem to fall into the illegitimate category according to "Tomais Rule of VPL´s"

Thank You, Phoenix Firestorm Team!

There I was, a couple of days ago, in my wonderful mansion, deleting stuff I had pulled out from Inventory to take a look at, while I was talking with Tomais on Skype. Tomais had gone to La Galleria to pick up some plant or other.

Suddenly I noticed a change in the light where I was sitting. Almost at the same time I realized I was seeing a lot more of the sea outside the sim. It took about ten seconds for my brain to process the information it was receiving before I consciously understood what had happened.

- "Tomais", I shouted, "I just took the house back into Inventory!"
- "You didn't lock it in place, babe?", my lover asked in the way that comes natural for those who know it all.
- "No!", I said sullenly and guilt-ridden.
- "OK, I'm on my way home soon. We will sort it out!", the second-most patient man in the world said calmly.

While I was sitting there, feeling devastated for having yet again pulled a home into Inventory (I think I have done that with almost every home I have lived in) I vaguely remembered the thing saying "Restore to last position" that I see when I click about in my Inventory.

"What about 'Restore to last position´, Tomais?", I asked.
"You could try it, but it doesn't always work...", he answered.

So I looked for the house under my Recent tab, and sure enough there it was in the Trash. I right-clicked it and chose "Restore to last position".

Nothing happened. I took a deep breath and started thinking of all the time consuming work that had gone to waste due to my imprudent action. And hoped that it would work...

"I tried it but nothing's happening!", I informed my hubby.

The seconds passed slowly by and I was waiting for a miracle to occur, but still nothing. Then suddenly after ninety seconds - at least - and just as Tomais arrived home the I saw a big shadow looming over me and the house appeared in place. In the exact same place as it should be and where it had been before. I sighed with great relief and the tension that had been building up left my body. Jubilation and laughter!

"Woot! It's back!"
"Yes, I see and exactly where it should be", Tomais confirmed. He continued, "We are very lucky that you are on the Firestorm viewer, none of the other viewers have that feature!"

I sent the little geniuses at the Firestorm team many grateful thoughts, while I hastened to lock the mansion in place.

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I would like to say a heartfelt "Thank you so much!" to all the marvelous and wonderful people who are involved in the Phoenix Firestorm Project, for having the foresight to create such a wonderful feature for those of us who are klutzes sometimes. If you ever feel in need of praise or a hug, just come by Southern Charm and I will lavish you with kisses, hugs and compliments.

For Blanche and the Swedish Cancer Fund

"Blanche" courtesy of Blanche Argus

Yesterday parts of the Swedish community in SecondLife came together to celebrate our dear friend +Blanche Argus, who for a very long time was a part of the core if the Swedish community, as a creator of many cultural events and also as well-known blogger with her blog Blanche's Arena.

Some months ago Blanche revealed to us all that she had been struck by cancer in her right eye and that, as she only has loco-motor vision on her left eye, this meant that she was virtually blind and could no longer enjoy +Second Life.

Yesterday there was an event to celebrate Blanche and what she had meant for us all and at the same time a fundraiser for the Swedish Cancer Fund (+Cancerfonden).

Blanche was with us through Skype and everything that was said in local was read to her by her first life sister, Second Renoir, or by Rultan Zeppelin, one of the event organizers. 

Blanche spoke to all of us at length and told us about how she was presently doing and how much she missed SecondLife and the lovely people in it. Her love was duly returned and shared copiously, in a more substantial way, with the Swedish Cancer Fund. Everyone donated generously!

Bosom buddy Apmel Goosson, one of Blanche's closest friends

Kandinsky Beaumont

For more about this event please visit

My Avatar's Name is Apmel: Blanka's Friday and My View of Second Life (Rultan Zeppelin's blog).

Sailing with Holter & Wayne

Tomais and I have been discussing a sailing trip with Holter and Wayne for a while, but with three time zones and sixteen hours difference between those furthest apart it took some planning.

On Sunday evening (Monday morning for Wayne) we finally managed to coordinate our busy schedules and took off out on the Blake Sea. It was a wonderful trip and we had a lot of fun and it got even better once we got on Skype together.

The best way to manage a sim crossing is to keep a steady eye on something beautiful nearby, I usually choose this view.

Wayne here gives us an example of what can happen if you don't lock onto Tomais buttocks, but Wayne seemed unusually accident prone that day...

Boxing Day 2013

Noblesse oblige, so on boxing day it was time for the laird to go out and about on Southern Charm to - as tradition bids - meet and greet the hoi polloi, i.e the lowlier nobility inhabiting the home sim.

The journey is usually performed with me being drawn in the royal sleigh drawn by six white Ardennes stallions, but this year I wanted to show off my new studly boyfriend so I had Tomais pull me around the sim instead.

"Sleigh Ride" Photography by Tomais Ashdene

It was a great success and the cheering of the crowds seemed never to cease. My people loved the man, for his good looks and charm and because they saw he makes me happy.

---

Enough with that fantasy about my noble lineage, which I mostly keep on with because it amuses me and annoys a few others (that I do not mind teasing as often as I am able).

Tom had seen this beautiful pose and it made him think of a picture (thats the way of the artists). I think he may have played a little with the pose I am on, but I am not at all sure.

Yesterday the brutish artist made me suffer for art and had me sitting out there in the cold for hours on end while he played about with lighting and Windlight settings. Although I am the most patient man in SecondLife, which Tom repeatedly told me yesterday, I would have been freezing my beautiful derriere off sitting there and listening to the artist mumbling to himself had it not been for my sweet brother Dej joining us on Skype for a while.

You can see more of Tomais' photography either on Flickr - Tomais Ashdene and also on his Tumblr page Photomonkey SL (NSFW). Enjoy!

An Impromptu Christmas Dinner

´Twas the day before, the day before, the day before, the day before Christmas (that would be Saturday December 21, 2013, for those who have difficulty with counting) that the picture below was taken.

Butch, Guyke, Tomais, I and Dej at the table in Tom's kitchen.

My men and I had started talking about when we were going to celebrate the holiday together before we each went off to spend some time with our first life families and/or friends, but had not decided on a date yet.

I was hailed by Dej when I logged into my SecondLife earlier than usual on Saturday. My brother was in an exceptionally jolly mood and invited me to come over to hear him play some music on the grand piano he has in his conservatory. I happily accepted the invitation.

After a while of we were joined by the topic of Dej's and my conversation, my lover Tomais.

At first Tom took a seat in the window, demurely listening as Dej and I continued playing duets on the piano, but then Dej  remembered that there was a third pose on the piano so he joined us there.

Tom got bolder as we kept on chatting away on Skype and changed to more daring outfits, cheered on by Dej and me.

Somewhere at this point we were joined by first Guyke and soon afterwards Butch and decided to go somewhere where we could all sit and talk comfortably. We first tried my kitchen table, but as I could not provide sustenance we moved on to Tom's kitchen where the table could provide us with a complete traditional Christmas dinner.

We sat there and talked together for hours and hours, all of us in high spirits and enjoying each others company to the fullest. 

When Butch had to leave us to set up his set at Q Lounge, the remaining four of us continued talking away and relaxing in Tom's sitting room, where we were served coffee, before joining Butch at his set.

Some hours later I noticed that Tom was getting a tired, he had been suffering from a bad cold for a few days and had had problems sleeping properly due to congestion. I decided to send Tom to bed and tucked him in properly.

It would not be an exaggeration to say that this had been a magical and wonderful day, one of the top five marvelous days in my entire SecondLife existence.

Oh, I almost forgot, we actually also had sort of a Christmas miracle. Dej and Guyke, who in the past have had some difficulty getting along, didn't even bicker at each other once. The two have instead since then joined forces to instruct Tom and me on how to go about things, sticking their noses into matters that are none of their concerns. The only reason I accept and forgive them for this is that they are family and that is what families do - as I know well having done so on more than one occasion when it comes to both their lives.

Bock in SecondLife and I, it's editor in chief, 

wishes all of you and your families in first and SecondLife 

an equally wonderful and magical Christmas holiday 

and we hope to see you all safely back with us soon!

The Cat & the Princess

Once upon a time, as all good stories should start even the true ones, there was an English cat living in Canada. He was a tall and lean man with a great capacity for love. On the other side of the Atlantic ocean in a small provincial Swedish town there lived a short and full figured princess with a weakness for tall and lean men and a similar capacity for love but no one to shower it over.

sirhc and Vampi posing for my blog project Naked Avatars in SecondLife
(see the tag Nakna avatarer i SL)

Little did the two know that the love of their lives existed and was waiting to be found. Universe saw this and knew it was wrong. This should not be like this, Universe felt, the two should be together and love and take care of eachother.

Universe thought about it a while and then it came with a brilliant plan and set it in motion. First it lighted a spark in the brain of a creative American computer geek named Philip Rosedale, something about creating a virtual world where he and his geeky friends and people from all over the world could meet and discuss their weird digital stuff and kill each other in war games and build stuff and have wild, steamy and passionate sex with fabulous women and tall, lean, men or cats or whatever they wished. Philip managed to convince enough of his wonderful geeky and creative friends about his vision and they set out to create the virtual world that was to become known and loved as SecondLife.

The idea took off, the world was created and the wonderful, creative and innovative computer geeks from all around the globe converged into SecondLife. They built stuff, they beautified it, they just went wild with all their ideas. And the friends of the geeks started to check in to see what it was all about and they fell in love with it too, so did their friends and the friends of their friends.

Both the English cat and the Swedish princess were sort of computer geek so they of course heard about SecondLife too and joined the fun.

Then one day the princess was out on one of her excursions into the dark side of SecondLife, some war sim or other, and she saw this lean, mean, killing machine of a cat. And she loved what she saw and heard and could not get the cat out of her mind. She started prowling around wherever he went and stalked him from sim to sim until one day she decided to take a leap of faith and just pounce on him. The poor, innocent and lovable cat did not know what had hit him. The princess was like a whirlwind, a tornado of excitement and love that took over his life, his thought and his dreams, just as he had - unknowingly - taken over her's.

The two started spending more and more time together, falling deeper in love as the days and weeks and months went by. They also started sharing their first lives on Skype, with the cam running 24/7, so they could look after each other and talk, talk, talk, talk, talk and watch a little. After a while they got handfasted in some weird wiccan ceremony and their love was sealed. Only Universe knows what kind of kinky heterosexual stuff went on in front of those cameras besides the two watching each other sleep, eat, wash, pee and all the other daily humdrum. Universe watched on and smiled and saw that all was well.

Then one day the princess woke up and couldn't see the cat anywhere in his apartment. He had completely disappeared from it, the camera was still running but the apartment was empty. She was not that worried at first but as the hours passed the worrying mounted, especially since the cat was sick and feverish at the time. When the hours turned to days she definitely knew something was wrong. She called out for help and assistance among her friends and an especially resourceful friend, a practical woman of course, lifted the phone and called the local police force in the Canadian town where the cat was living.

Vampi and sirhc and their alts for the blog project Naked Avatars in SecondLife

Despite the unusual circumstances the Canadian police were amazingly helpful and swiftly located  the cat and - after receiving his consent - informed the resourceful woman about his whereabouts and where he could be reached.

The beautiful cat had been found wandering the streets and not being able to find his way home in his sick and feverish state. He had been taken to hospital for treatment and was recovering when the Canadian police found him and informed him that a crazy princess in Sweden was asking about him.

Universe, that had been watching the whole story unfold, knew that something had to be done. The two could not be kept apart anymore, both needed the other to look after them and to look after the other. In some miraculous way a plane ticket was arranged  with a one way trip to Sweden. The still weak cat packed up his stuff and got on the plane which would deliver him to the waiting princess.

On this day, July 20, three years ago the two fell into each others loving arms at the train station in Helsingborg, Sweden, (See Bock in SecondLife; The kitten has arrived). Since then the two have stayed as inseparable as they were before, but now in both lives. The princess has taken care of the cats health and he has done the same for her. As it turned out the cat is an amazing cook, baker etc., etc., so he put the princess on an organic, nutritional and healthy diet. She is not as full figured anymore but feeling much better she tells me.

Universe is still watching over the two. It sees that they are doing well and it is happy, and so are the rest of their friends. For this is a true story, somewhat freely embellished but nonetheless true.

The princess is the lairds CTO Vampi Twine DeSantis McMillan McMillan (honorary) and the cat is his Sergeant at Arms sirhc DeSantis McMillan. The wonderful resourceful woman is PirateJenny Whybroe.

Happy 3rd Anniversary in Sweden, sirhc!

I hope you two will live happily together ever after. Love you both!

My Boys

Well, after all the confusion and misunderstandings we had I finally got to see and talk with my boys again. With "we" I am, in this case, mostly referring to myself of course.

As I understand it, my young ones these days like to play a game called "First Life", which means they lounge on their sofas - one in Belgium and the other in Finland - and look at and talk with each other on some newfangled thing called Skype.

Now they were finally with me again in SecondLife and we talked in voice and had a good time together. In this case I mean my stepson Guyke and myself when I say "we". My son in-law Janttu had a very bad cold with fever and could hardly get a word in sideways except those occasions when Guyke and I stopped talking for 5 seconds to catch our breaths - and then only typing in local chat.

That actually reminded me that I had never heard Janttu speak. I told him that if I did not hear him speak in voice next time we met I would start suspecting he was a devious woman who had succeeded in turning my stepson straight. (What would Ars have said, I wonder? )

To this Guyke responded that it had taken him "ages" to get Janttu to speak with him in voice. Knowing Guyke that would mean little more than 20 minutes. I never could teach the boy the virtue of patience, well I may not be the best teacher but at least I try - sometimes.

Anyway it was wonderful to have them close again and knowing they were doing well. I love them to bits and look forward to seeing them in-worlds a bit more often in the future. Otherwise I will start considering some kind of addiction therapy to get them off this "First Life"-thing.