Open Letter to A Well Meaning Woman

My son Guyke will undoubtedly tell me, that writing this post is creating drama, but as I have told him in my opinion people who say that others are taking part in drama are often not willing to take a position on an issue or unwilling to declare their opinion in public. They instead accuse those who are willing and dare to do so of creating drama.

After logging off from SecondLife tonight I was tired and going to bed but wanted to check the latest updates on my blog list.

I happened to notice the following title on one of the "recent posts" on a blogroll, it read (translated to English and to English/American customs): "Second Pride Festival. Isn't That Like Brussel Sprouts at the Christmas Dinner Table?"

The post was on a Swedish SecondLife blog that I haven't been reading for several years, due to the fact that the blog owner (on this blog unlovingly referred to as "the mudslinger" ) made a personal attack on me by challenging whether my late partner Ars Northmead has ever existed.

The writer of this post was however not the mudslinger herself, but one of her sisters, cousins, friends, whatever, a woman with a more reputable image.

As far as I am aware, neither the writer, nor the blog has any connection or affiliation whatsoever to or with any LGBTQ person, organisation or community, be it in first life or SecondLife. This fact however in no way daunts the writer of the blog post from expressing her opinions on when and where the LGBTQ  community as a whole and worldwide should celebrate Pride and how they should do it to appear less gimmicky. 

The writer utilises the interesting and insidious technique of phrasing all her statements as questions, which makes it completely impossible to hold them against her. I will however say this to her in an open letter:

My dear madam,

Your views on when, where and how we should celebrate our Pride, however well meaning they may be - and I must stress that I see them as well meaning - are from a purely heteronormative perspective and are, in my most humble opinion, lopsided, inaccurate, uniformed and/or false.

The fact of the matter is that every day, in every nation (yes, even in Sweden), in the virtual worlds and cyberspace and in every walk of life LGBTQ persons are verbally and emotionally harassed, underpaid compared to their straight (or closeted) equals, less likely to be promoted compared to their straight (or closeted) equals, emotionally, physically and mentally abused, violated, maimed and killed. 

We will continue to celebrate Pride as we ourselves see fit, even if you should happen to disagree and consider, it more of a stunt or gimmicky. We do this to come together to rejoice over our past victories, for mutual support and to support our brothers and sisters in less democratic countries where they are forbidden to express their homosexuality in private as well as in  public under the risk of fines, imprisonment or death penalty, where they are also forbidden to demonstrate their pride in any way, shape or form. And we will continue to do so as long as we see it as necessary and fitting.

If you should wish to see and experience what Second Pride is all about, please let me inform you that the festival has always been open for everyone to visit and take part in. Alas the festival for 2013 was concluded a week ago but I would be happy to accompany you and show you around the exhibitions and the parties at next years Second Pride Festival.

Yours kindly,

Bock McMillan

P.S. I have made the following list on the present status of samesex marriages worldwide to correct the false facts you give in your post. The information is readily available for everyone on Wikipedia. (I have updated the information on California according to recent developments)

As of May 2013 the following thirteen countries have legalized same-sex marriages

1. Argentina, 
2. Belgium, 
3. Brazil, 
4. Canada, 
5. Denmark,
6. France, 
7. Iceland, 
8. The Netherlands,
9. Norway,
10. Portugal, 
11. Spain, 
12. South Africa and 
13. Sweden

In August 2013 the following two countries will also legalize same-sex marriages (laws have already been enacted that that will come into force at that time)

1. Uruguay and 
2. New Zealand

As of May 2013 several sub-national jurisdictions in the following countries have legalized same-sex marriages

1. parts of Mexico and 
2. parts of the United States.

As of June 26, 2013, the following sub-national jurisdictions (states) of the United States have legalized same-sex marriages

1. California.
2. Colorado, 
3. Iowa
4. Maine
5. Maryland, 
6. Massachusetts, 
7. New Hampshire, 
8. New York, 
9. Vermont and 
10. Washington

In the following countries bills allowing legal recognition of same-sex marriage have been proposed, are pending, or have passed at least one legislative house in

1. Andorra, 
2. England and Wales, 
3. Finland, 
4. Germany, 
5. Ireland, 
6. Luxembourg, 
7. Nepal, 
8. Scotland and 
9. Taiwan 

In the following sub-national jurisdictions bills allowing legal recognition of same-sex marriage have been proposed, are pending, or have passed at least one legislative house

1. parts of Australia, 
2. parts of Mexico and 
3. parts of the United States.