Open Letter to A Well Meaning Woman

My son Guyke will undoubtedly tell me, that writing this post is creating drama, but as I have told him in my opinion people who say that others are taking part in drama are often not willing to take a position on an issue or unwilling to declare their opinion in public. They instead accuse those who are willing and dare to do so of creating drama.

After logging off from SecondLife tonight I was tired and going to bed but wanted to check the latest updates on my blog list.

I happened to notice the following title on one of the "recent posts" on a blogroll, it read (translated to English and to English/American customs): "Second Pride Festival. Isn't That Like Brussel Sprouts at the Christmas Dinner Table?"

The post was on a Swedish SecondLife blog that I haven't been reading for several years, due to the fact that the blog owner (on this blog unlovingly referred to as "the mudslinger" ) made a personal attack on me by challenging whether my late partner Ars Northmead has ever existed.

The writer of this post was however not the mudslinger herself, but one of her sisters, cousins, friends, whatever, a woman with a more reputable image.

As far as I am aware, neither the writer, nor the blog has any connection or affiliation whatsoever to or with any LGBTQ person, organisation or community, be it in first life or SecondLife. This fact however in no way daunts the writer of the blog post from expressing her opinions on when and where the LGBTQ  community as a whole and worldwide should celebrate Pride and how they should do it to appear less gimmicky. 

The writer utilises the interesting and insidious technique of phrasing all her statements as questions, which makes it completely impossible to hold them against her. I will however say this to her in an open letter:

My dear madam,

Your views on when, where and how we should celebrate our Pride, however well meaning they may be - and I must stress that I see them as well meaning - are from a purely heteronormative perspective and are, in my most humble opinion, lopsided, inaccurate, uniformed and/or false.

The fact of the matter is that every day, in every nation (yes, even in Sweden), in the virtual worlds and cyberspace and in every walk of life LGBTQ persons are verbally and emotionally harassed, underpaid compared to their straight (or closeted) equals, less likely to be promoted compared to their straight (or closeted) equals, emotionally, physically and mentally abused, violated, maimed and killed. 

We will continue to celebrate Pride as we ourselves see fit, even if you should happen to disagree and consider, it more of a stunt or gimmicky. We do this to come together to rejoice over our past victories, for mutual support and to support our brothers and sisters in less democratic countries where they are forbidden to express their homosexuality in private as well as in  public under the risk of fines, imprisonment or death penalty, where they are also forbidden to demonstrate their pride in any way, shape or form. And we will continue to do so as long as we see it as necessary and fitting.

If you should wish to see and experience what Second Pride is all about, please let me inform you that the festival has always been open for everyone to visit and take part in. Alas the festival for 2013 was concluded a week ago but I would be happy to accompany you and show you around the exhibitions and the parties at next years Second Pride Festival.

Yours kindly,

Bock McMillan

P.S. I have made the following list on the present status of samesex marriages worldwide to correct the false facts you give in your post. The information is readily available for everyone on Wikipedia. (I have updated the information on California according to recent developments)

As of May 2013 the following thirteen countries have legalized same-sex marriages

1. Argentina, 
2. Belgium, 
3. Brazil, 
4. Canada, 
5. Denmark,
6. France, 
7. Iceland, 
8. The Netherlands,
9. Norway,
10. Portugal, 
11. Spain, 
12. South Africa and 
13. Sweden

In August 2013 the following two countries will also legalize same-sex marriages (laws have already been enacted that that will come into force at that time)

1. Uruguay and 
2. New Zealand

As of May 2013 several sub-national jurisdictions in the following countries have legalized same-sex marriages

1. parts of Mexico and 
2. parts of the United States.

As of June 26, 2013, the following sub-national jurisdictions (states) of the United States have legalized same-sex marriages

1. California.
2. Colorado, 
3. Iowa
4. Maine
5. Maryland, 
6. Massachusetts, 
7. New Hampshire, 
8. New York, 
9. Vermont and 
10. Washington

In the following countries bills allowing legal recognition of same-sex marriage have been proposed, are pending, or have passed at least one legislative house in

1. Andorra, 
2. England and Wales, 
3. Finland, 
4. Germany, 
5. Ireland, 
6. Luxembourg, 
7. Nepal, 
8. Scotland and 
9. Taiwan 

In the following sub-national jurisdictions bills allowing legal recognition of same-sex marriage have been proposed, are pending, or have passed at least one legislative house

1. parts of Australia, 
2. parts of Mexico and 
3. parts of the United States.

Rewriting the Rules

NEO is the blond dude sitting

Ars and I had many things in common. One of them was our deep love for SecondLife.

Although I have lately gotten (un)friendly suggestions that I should perhaps consider emigrating to another world, I have no plans to do so  - ever. The other worlds hold no fascination for me, as they only seem to be cheaper knockoffs of SecondLife.

Today NE0 Timeless has a post where he shows us two parts from a documentary called "Digital Nation".

NEO tells us it makes him proud to be a SecondLife user. Well, I am as proud as you are, NEO!

Watch the two videos on NEO´s blog "Free Your Mind", "Digital Nation, parts 6 and 7 - SecondLife (url).

Oh, and after seeing those videos. no one will ever be able to tell me that Philip Rosedale (a.k.a. Philip Linden in SecondLife) has ever lost faith in his creation. I love that man again, purely, simply and platonically! 

Shocking News x 3

***Warning!***

You had better sit down before reading this post. I will emphatically refuse responsibility for any injuries or damages (physical, mental, emotional or whatever) caused to you before, during or after reading it..

1. Laird refused sex by Canadian biker dude

Read the background to this story here..

The Much Honored Bock McMillan, laird of Southern Charm and prince of Cascade Falls reportedly took this news with great composure although tears could be seen in his eyes.

"We must always rejoice when our friends find true love. The reasons he gives for this decision are all valid and I will do my best to support him in keeping that resolution", he said with a slight tremor in his voice.


2. Eating cat meat may kill you

Read the background to this story here.(Tip by buddy sirhc DeSantis is gratefully acknowledged)

The laird´s reaction to this story was utter disgust. "Ewww you meant to say they still do that? There isn´t much meat on them after all, just look at my buddy. Skin and bones he is, skin and bones!"


3. Renewal of old friendship

In the aftermath of the recent drama created by the two harridans of the virtual worlds it is reported that Gittrika Mint and the laird have decided to let bygones be bygones and have exchanged mutual excuses for past wrongdoings.

"Gittrika acted in a most courageous, magnanimous and forgiving way by speaking out in that drama despite our differences. I will always remember that and in the light of this bravery our past differences seem very trifling indeed.", said the laird when commenting this story. "We have, however, respectfully agreed to disagree on a certain topic but will not let that stop us from doing the right thing. I am very happy that something good came out of that pitiful incident."

Prevention of Historical Revisionism

Before moving along, as I promised to do yesterday, I am taking the precautionary measure of posting this extract from the comments on the mudslingers blog. This because I was alerted today about the fact that comments and even entire blog posts so easily disappear. (Copy/pasted here but I have used my snipping tool as well). 

The benefit of copy/pasting is that you can copy and get the comments translated yourselves, as I have now also been accused of having made an incorrect translation.

The only thing I have changed below are the names of the two harridans of the virtual worlds and the links to the blog post or the identities of the other two, I am instead using the more suitable names I have chosen for them.

Now, I am done with those two and my beautiful world is waiting.. 

"The extraterrestrial hag from InWorldz" sa...

Jag har själv blivit mobbad av Bock McMillan som attackerade mig våldsamt i sin egen blogg samt strök mig från alla tänkbara vänlistor och skrev hemska kommentarer i min blogg. Varför vet jag inte. Jag fick aldrig någon ursäkt heller. 

Folk påstod att det var synd om honom och att han inte visste vad han gjorde. Whatever. Såna dramaqueens går fetbort i min värld iaf. Troligen är det bara så att "kärringen" är ur balans och måste ha nån att slå på ibland. 
Happy New Year! :]

31 december 2011 17:18

"The mudslinger" sa...

-Trodde du redan att gjort det Kandi - en sån lysande feministisk journalist som du, Tina har i alla fall skrivit om detta tidigare. 
Kalla mig censor då kan du lika gärna sparka mig i skrevet, dra mig i håret och sätta tummen i ögat - då förbehåller jag mig rätten att slå tillbaka med full kraft. Det är inte som prydnad jag har med länken till Reportrar utan gränser.
-Vi har alla sett Bock strö dricks omkring sig på olika danskvällar - vem vill schavottera med en tummad tjuga efter Prinsens fabulösa donation.
Vi som inte varit med så länge vet ju inte ens om Ars har funnits eller om det är en alt i syfte att iscensätta någon vonDardelsk installation. -När du gav dig på Kynlif gav du dig på fel person. Hon förlorade båda sina föräldrar i en bilolycka för fem sex år sedan. Trots det reste hon sig snabbt gav sina barn en fin uppväxt och förde sitt egna företag till blomstring. Hon kanske inte sagt något, jag vet att hon avskyr när någon ömkar henne.

1 januari 2012 15:40

Bock McMillan sa...

Vare sig du eller Mera/Vesper/Alessia förtjänar något svar, men jag vill bara säga att du borde skämmas Vanadis för att ens ifrågasätta Ars existens eller betydelse i mitt och andras liv.

Så långt som att undersöka hur det verkligen förhåller sig med detta sträckte sig tydligtvis inte din journalistiska begåvning eller integritet.

Jag beklagar Kynlifs olycka och gratulerar till att hon förmådde återhämta sig så snabbt. Jag visste dock inte att hon därmed had fastställt vilken tidtabell min sorg skulle följa.

Jag förstår fortfarande inte heller när eller på vilket sätt jag någonsin skulle ha gett mig på Kynlif, men det är egalt nu.

1 januari 2012 16:14 

Where Do I Go From Here?

After reading the mudslingers vicious attack on my Ars memory yesterday I was in turmoil and totally confused because I could not see it coming.

It is true the mudslinger and I have a history of miscommunication but that she would - or even could wish to - drag my Ars into the equation was totally unexpected and extremely hurtful.

After I had sent out the note card to everyone on my friendslist in SecondLife asking them to bear witness to Ars existence, I got many questions about the identity of the mudslinger and kind advise telling me to ignore the foolish person and let it lay.

I am not going to name the mudslinger at this point in time, as I wish her no harm. Her identity and her blog is however known to many of the other Swedes in SecondLife and they can also testify to the fact that she has actually brought forth the accusations that I have stated.

The mudslinger is dust to me now and has lost any credibility she may have had. I wish no further contact with her ever again. Should she, however. at any point in the future,  leave a comment on my blog again I will name her, her blog and link to the post where she sullies the memory of Ars.

The same of course applies to her crony, the extraterrestrial hag from InWorldz with her many avatars. Both of theses two harridans of the virtual worlds have spit on me and the memory of my Ars. The extraterrestrial hag did so only a few weeks after Ars passed away by raising the question if love in the virtual worlds was at all real love or even possible in any correct interpretation of the word.

As to the kind suggestions from many who wish me well, that I should ignore what had happened and let it lay, I can only say that it was never an option for me. I am sure it is a personality disorder of some kind, but I don´t care.

Once again I would like to thank all those of my family and friends in SecondLife who rallied to protect Ars´s memory. I would also like to thank all those friends and strangers who have sent me kind messages inworld or by e-mail. I will try to get back to you all as soon as possible!

I am sorry this post comes so late, but as an aftermath of yesterdays experiences I was completely exhausted when I got back from work today. What should have been a one hour nap turned into a three hours one.

Now, I am going to leave this behind me and never revisit it again. The middle part of yesterday was not a day I wish to remember. I will see you inworld tomorrow!

Did You Know Ars Northmead?

I am in total shock at the moment. An infamous Swedish SecondLife-blogger has today had the shameful audacity to draw into question whether or not my beautiful Ars has ever existed as a person or avatar in his own right.

She indeed outright implies that the avatar Ars Northmead is/was one of my alts and also maintains that my mourning for him is a role-play created in my deviant imagination. She also thinks my timetable for mourning deviates from her ideal.

I would therefor ask that all those of you who may have known Ars Northmead come forward and attest to his existence as a person in his own right and that he is not an alt of mine.

If you feel you can do this, please attest to those facts in the comments. Should you know of others who could bear witness to this, please ask them to sign in also.

This has gone too far