Dear Bock: Second Chances?

"Dear Bock,

How many second chances do you give someone, who hurts you time and again?

Sad in Saskatchewan"

Bock McMillan,
photo by J.J. Goodman

Dear S-i-S,

There are no fixed rules! Individual circumstances and the individuals involved are paramount in deciding when enough-is-enough-is-enough for you, not - and I repeat not - for the person who hurts you.

In deciding this you must take into consideration "The 5 W's and the H", who, when, what, where and why and, finally, how it makes you feel.

If it is someone you don't know and don't care about there are no second chances at all however minor the offense is, whereas if it is a child or someone you love deeply there may not be a limit at all. Well, not until you feel that their saying "I'm sorry" for the umpteenth time just isn't enough anymore. You simply have had enough and do not wish to let yourself be hurt by that person again. That is when you pull up stakes and move yourself out of harm's way and do what you can to avoid further contact!

However, always keep in mind, you are human and are allowed to change your mind if and when you want to. There is always, always, a tomorrow... But, and this is a big one, before you forgive and forget, ask yourself if there has been any real indication of change in the other person. Otherwise you may just be setting yourself up to be hurt again.

Bock McMillan is a blogger, not a relationship expert, his weekly column "Dear Bock" should therefore merely be considered as his point-of-view on relationship matters. If you wish to get his reaction to a relationship question you have, you are welcome to send an email to lundamats@gmail.com. Remember to write "Dear Bock" in the subject line.