Love Made in SecondLife

Draxtor Despres and SecondLife have a series of documentaries (five so far, but more to come) running on YouTube about how people meet and fall in love in SecondLife and carry that love over into first life.

Imagine being 71 y.o. living comfortably in the USA and then packing everything up to move to the UK after meeting the love of your life in SecondLife. Well, they had known each other for over ten years in SecondLife so it wasn't as if they were strangers.

You can find the YouTube playlist here: Love Made in SecondLife (url) (As always like, comment and share!)

Draxtor has told me that he is still looking for couples who want to share their stories with us. If you feel like it, you should drop a notecard on his profile in-world or better yet send him an email: drax@draxtor.com. 

A Suitable Headstone

Yesterday I got an email from Dejerrity's first life family where they shared this picture of his headstone with me.

I believe my brother would have loved it! It's a loving and fitting celebration to his geekish interests, sci-fi/fantasy, and SecondLife. 

Fuck You!

So yesterday and today I received this threatening email from someone claiming to be a member of an International group of hackers. They tell me that they have been recording my web-based activity in emails, social media, and messenger (which they have wrongly translated to Swedish with "budbärare"). They also claim to have recorded my activities on porn websites and tell me that I have weird tastes...

Most importantly, or so they claim, they have recorded me with "my own web-camera" (I don't have a web-camera) when I visited porn-websites and will expose it all to my "friends, relatives, and my intimates..." if I don't pay $600 to their Bitcoin Wallet within 48 hours of receiving the email.

---
The message:

"Hallå!

Som du kanske kunde gissat, var ditt konto (comhem.se) hackat, därför att Jag skickade dig ett mail därifrån.

Jag är medlem i en internationell hackergrupp.Inom en period från 29 juli 2018 till 18 september 2018 smittades du av det virus vi skapat via en vuxenwebbplats som du har besökt.Hittills har vi tillgång till dina meddelanden, sociala medier och budbärare.Dessutom har vi sparat alla dessa data.

Vi är medvetna om dina små och stora hemligheter...ja, du har dem. Vi såg och spelade in dina aktiviteter på porrwebbplatser. Din smak är så konstig, du vet ..

Men det viktigaste är att vi ibland spelade in dig med din webbkamera, synkronisera inspelningarna med det du såg på!Jag tror att du inte är intresserad visa den här videon till dina vänner, släktingar och din intima ...

Överför $600 till min Bitcoin Plånbok: 144CDUeBhcwoEUmA2B1cL5p5PqZrhJWCCt
Jag garanterar att efter det kommer vi radera alla dina "data": D

En timer startar när du läser detta meddelande. Du har 48 timmar att betala ovan nämnda belopp.

Dina uppgifter kommer att raderas när pengarna överförs. Om de inte är det kommer alla dina meddelanden och videoklipp automatiskt att skickas till alla dina kontakter som finns på dina enheter vid infektionstillfället.

Du bör alltid tänka på din säkerhet. Vi hoppas att det här fallet kommer att lära dig att hålla hemligheter.Ta hand om dig själv."

---

I would like to warn my dear friends, family, relatives, and "intimates...", that they may soon see my extremely weird and illicit behavior exposed in some form. My sincere apologies for that!

My response to this International group of hackers that have studied and recorded my web-activity is, you will get no money from me not now and not when I am an International porn superstar that will get payed USD130.000 for keeping quiet about my personal and intimate relationship with world leaders.

Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!
I bloody well hope you bastards 
recorded me from my best angles!

P.S. I have now reported the attempted blackmail to my ISP and the police.

Message from Dej's Sister

Today I received this very touching email from Dej's first life sister.

Dear [Bock],

I am [Dej]'s sister, [Julie], and I had the honor of reading aloud your lovely tribute to him at the memorial service we held [Saturday] at the cemetery, where his remains will lie with our mother's.

We've had horribly hot and humid weather here the past month or so, but today was cool, rainy, and very overcast. Kind of like [Dej], in a way.

[Dej] and I did not communicate much in the past 14 years; that was really his choice and, since we had had a troubled relationship [...], that was okay with me. But the last few years, after I moved in with our mom to take care of her and as she slowly but surely declined, he seemed to soften somewhat. He wouldn't visit often (generally only at Christmas), but he always at least answered e-mails when I found it necessary to send out a family alert. When we saw him at her funeral last December, we were all aghast at his appearance--so thin, stooped, fully white-haired, coughing and wheezing.

He told me about his "Swedish friend" perhaps six or so years ago, as he tried to explain his Second Life existence. There is no doubt he thought the world of you, and his enthusiasm for his second life was unmistakable. It was clear he preferred that to his first life, and I wonder sometimes how blurred the lines between the two became. I don't play games online with other people; I am too timid. But Michael was cautious, too, and I am sort of amazed at how well you ended up knowing him, even though largely "virtually." 

At his service, we played Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" as performed by Jeff Buckley. He sent this to me right after our mom died, so I know it meant a lot to him. I hope he enjoyed it. 

I wanted to thank you, and the other friends I know he's made through Second Life, for caring and sharing your memories of a [Dej] who was largely closed off to us. Our particular family dynamic was never what you would call "loving," but believe me when I say that we are all quite devastated by his death, and will no doubt spend much time wondering whether there was anything else we could have done to prevent it.

Live long and prosper, [Bock].

Very best regards, [Julie]

Dear Bock: Second Chances?

"Dear Bock,

How many second chances do you give someone, who hurts you time and again?

Sad in Saskatchewan"

Bock McMillan,
photo by J.J. Goodman

Dear S-i-S,

There are no fixed rules! Individual circumstances and the individuals involved are paramount in deciding when enough-is-enough-is-enough for you, not - and I repeat not - for the person who hurts you.

In deciding this you must take into consideration "The 5 W's and the H", who, when, what, where and why and, finally, how it makes you feel.

If it is someone you don't know and don't care about there are no second chances at all however minor the offense is, whereas if it is a child or someone you love deeply there may not be a limit at all. Well, not until you feel that their saying "I'm sorry" for the umpteenth time just isn't enough anymore. You simply have had enough and do not wish to let yourself be hurt by that person again. That is when you pull up stakes and move yourself out of harm's way and do what you can to avoid further contact!

However, always keep in mind, you are human and are allowed to change your mind if and when you want to. There is always, always, a tomorrow... But, and this is a big one, before you forgive and forget, ask yourself if there has been any real indication of change in the other person. Otherwise you may just be setting yourself up to be hurt again.

Bock McMillan is a blogger, not a relationship expert, his weekly column "Dear Bock" should therefore merely be considered as his point-of-view on relationship matters. If you wish to get his reaction to a relationship question you have, you are welcome to send an email to lundamats@gmail.com. Remember to write "Dear Bock" in the subject line.

Myles Capalini On "Suddenness" & More

Today I received the following email from Myles Capalini, owner of the Cabria Estate which were formerly a part of the Gay Archipelago.

---

Hi Bock,

No worries about the reply issue, I think it is just bad karma between me and Google+

As to the "suddenness" of the meeting, let me clarify my point of view on that. It is true, that there had originally been a meeting planned the previous Sunday, July 5th, but that was rescheduled for July 12th, but with no time and no agenda (other than saying the meeting was primarily to be to discuss Summerfest. I.e., no major business issues on the table). So I waited all week to get a time, though I expected the meeting to be sometime midday, which it has always been for the last many years. Never got a notice, and was out early Sunday for breakfast, but when I got home, I discovered that the first notice of the meeting had been sent at 11:00 or 11:30 on Saturday night (Oh great, missed that one), and that the meeting was set for 7 AM Sunday. I think that may not necessarily fit everyone's definition of 'Sudden', but it was a big surprise, and of course I missed it.

Worse, really, was reading the minutes, and finding that there were Very Major business issues on the table, and little or no discussion of the Summerfest. And the appointment of an entire new leadership team, with no advance notice, or chance to voice any opinions on such appointments is also unprecedented in the 5 or 6 years that I have been involved with the GA.

Sadly, I doubt there is a set of written 'Bylaws', but there is a long history of precedent that was completely ignored. I don't think we are really talking so much about 'legality' here, as we are about a complete disregard for the 40 or more region owners, all of whom have a very large stake in the GA. But it was pretty clear from reading the minutes, that the new team is not interested in any feedback, or what the owners might really want. I fully expect them to fire the entire Membership committee, and establish totally new guidelines that will allow virtually any merchant or club anywhere on the grid to join the GA, which goes against all of the history of requiring only full region owners to join (or people renting full regions).

Without that requirement, there is no incentive for those merchants or clubs to rent land from the many owners already in the GA who like myself depend on renting land to make ends meet. Seeing that, I realized that I may as well just leave. 

There was one perk involved, I hear that I have been branded a Bitchy Old Queen award (not said to my face of course, but behind my back). That kind of behavior is another reason to just walk away. I have enough drama in RL, do not need any bitch fights in SL. I would, however, be more than happy to state my case, as I have here, or to answer any charges the new team may have the guts to present to me. 

Best regards, and thanks again for watching this,
Myles Capalini

---

The first sentence in the email regards a problem commenting on the blog. If anyone else should have a similar issue commenting please send me an email instead at lundamats@gmail.com

I would like to thank Myles for sharing his thoughts and sentiments on this issue with us, and especially for clarifying the question regarding the "suddenness" of the meeting.

It now seems there was a date set, but no time was announced until very late Saturday night for Sunday morning (eight hours or less before the meeting). Although there was no agenda for the meeting the proposed topic for it was the upcoming GA SummerFest not any major issues like a new leadership team. 

Badass Performance Art

A 26 y.o. Russian-born performance artist, Mischa Badasyan, has announced his latest project, which is named "Save the date".

In this art project the Mischa will attempt to have sex with a different man every day for a year, starting in September. According to what the artist has told Arts.Mic, the goal of the project is to "explore the link between loneliness and casual sex", believe it or not.

To facilitate finding the 365 men he needs Mischa, who currently resides in Berlin, Germany, has downloaded the meet-up apps Grindr and Scruff, but also intends to use more traditional ways to pick up guys.

If you should wish to assist Mischa in his project and schedule a session, you can contact Mischa via email erde88@gmail.com or through F*c*book Mischa Badasyan on F*c*book

"Art is not a crime" the graffiti says. The picture is from
another of Mischa's performance projects named "Adbusters"

Now here is a challenge for our SecondLife performance artist SaveMe Oh to tackle. What on earth can she come up with to outdo this badass (Yes, this is a play on Mischa's extremely suitable surname) performance , I wonder... 

Avatar Couples For TV Documentary

A couple of days ago I got this message in my email:

Hi

We are making a TV documentary in the UK entitled Happily Ever Avatar. And we are looking for couples who are about to get married in second life. We would love to film a wedding. However at least one half of the couple must be UK based. Do you happen to know anyone that would like their virtual wedding filmed?

Many thanks   

Zoe Dobson Series Producer back2back productions ltd t.  +44 (0)1273 227700 m.  f.  +44 (0)1273 227777 Zoe.Dobson@back2back.tv http://www.back2back.tv Unit 3, Clifton Mews, Clifton Hill, Brighton BN1 3HR

---

As I couldn't think of such a couple I responded to the producer and told her that if she wished I would be happy to post her inquiry on my blog and hopefully someone would see it who knew of such a couple. She happily accepted.

So now wrack your brains and scrutinize your friends lists and then get in touch with Zoe Dobson a.s.a.p.

My Contribution

Please click the image to embiggen

Petr Hastings-Vanbeeck, my friend and the organizer of the It Gets Better Project in SecondLife, has been asking for new contributions to the worthwhile project.

Here you go , Petr, this is my contribution! I am sorry it has to be large, but I didn't want wanted to shorten the poem, which is a masterpiece. If you send me an email at lundamats@gmail.com I will be happy to send it to you that way as I think uploading it to SecondLife and dropping it on your profile may screw up the proportions.

Swedish Boycott of Bock?

A while back I asked for applications (post url) from kissable Swedish avatars to join me in catering to the International community on the third annual International Kiss-A-Swede Day in SecondLife.

To date I have received a positive response from only one (1) Swedish avatar, the sweet miss Helene Dragoone. Although I am certain the two of us - with enough time - will be able to manage the onslaught of craving International guests, it would be better and faster if we were joined by a few more kissable Swedes.

I am not at all sure what has caused the Swedish community to drag their heels or if this is an outright boycott of me. If it is a question of something I may have said and done, it would of course be much better if I was informed about it and was given the possibility to make amends or at least clarify.

Anyway, if you should happen to be interested please send your information to Bock's email or just drop a note card on the laird's profile in SecondLife. The e-mail or the note card should include your full SecondLife (searchable) name and specify if you have any special needs or requests that the organizers need to arrange for.

Mrs. Vampi Twine-DeSantis-McMillan-McMillan (Honorary), You've Got Mail

Dearest Vampi,

I didn't read your e-mail to me until late in the night, but I took action immediately and you now have an email with some good news from me waiting to be read. Hopefully the current problem can now be considered to be handled. 

With love always,
Bock

P.S. If you still don't have Internet connection I am hoping that one of our mutual friends in SecondLife has your phone number and will  call you to tell you the good news.

Support Ticket #01587329 III

Illustration from Sangoma

Things are moving along well with my support case despite the weekend. I got the following email today.

"A comment has been added to your Case..

Case: 01587329 
Avatar: Bock McMillan 
Type: Other Inworld Issues 
Status: Information Requested 

Hi Bock ---

Thanks for the additional info. What I need to try now is seeing if I encounter the same problem when I have access to your account. If you are ok with me performing this test, please reply back that I have your consent.

Once you comply, you will receive an email advising you that the action is taking place so that you don't login when we are testing, then another email letting you know when we are done. When you're logged out and ready to go, respond to this case and we will get started. We do not need your password for this.

Hope to hear from you soon,
Theresa Linden


To reply to this case, either Reply to this email, or visit : https://secondlife.com/my/support/?caseID=01587329 

(To view the Case online, you will need to log into Secondlife.com with this Avatar: Bock McMillan)"
---

I sent the following response as soon as I saw the e-mail (at 4 AM in the morning my time when I woke up to "wash my hands").

"Hi Theresa,

You have my full consent!

Yours,
Bock"
---

P.S. In hindsight I wish I had asked Theresa to be gentle with me, because as a Kinsey type 6 this would be my first time with a woman. It´s been bugging me since I sent the email...

Greetings from MarsDeb

From: MarsDeb
Sent: December 17, 2012 22:53
To: Bock
Subject: RE: Happy Holidays

Bock – 

So good to hear from you and especially on this date. My son (name) got married on Saturday, 12/15, to his lovely bride (name). The ceremony was beautiful and all our family was able to make it. The newlyweds are in Acapulco for the week enjoying sunshine and relaxation.

I’m happy to hear you are doing well and having good memories of Doug. We talk about him often and always think about him when the family is together. Like you we miss him terribly but it is always happy fun memories when we remember.

Lots going on with our family as well this year. Marie has relocated from Florida to Texas and she and I have purchased a home together in (town). The house is on the water in a community called (X Island)…so we are living in paradise or hope to be once we have the remodeling done. It is a little longer drive to work for me, but I’m planning on retiring in a few years so it is manageable especially considering the relaxing environment once I get home. I've attached a couple of photos of our view and Marie’s boat. We are really enjoying it.

Mom and Dad are still hanging in there. No major health changes, just continuing to progress in age – Dad 86 and Mom 84. Mom’s (health issue) continues to progress but Dad is still managing to keep her at home with help during the week. Marie and I are going to Arkansas to spend the holiday with them.

The others are all doing well with one nephew graduating this past summer and going into the employment world. A big change for him, but he likes what he is doing.

I hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday and healthy and safe New Year. Be sure to tell the SL family hello and send them my best wishes.

Debbie

Email to the Wilson´s

From: X.X.
Sent: December 15, 2012 8:53 PM
To: Debbie.X.
Subject: Happy Holidays

Dearest Debbie, Marie and the rest of my American family,

We have another Christmas and New Year coming up and I wish you all the best for the holidays and the coming year. I hope this email reaches you all in good health and that you are all doing well!

In my first life, 2012 has been a kind and consoling year and it seems that I, in spite of a few bad turns during the year, will be meeting it will all my loved ones still with me. My mother and father have both been hospitalized during the year but are both now doing very well and are – as always – enjoying each other’s company. I have two more grandnieces/grandnephews as my sisters children continue to multiply.

On a personal level I am doing well too. Although I still think of Doug/Ars on a daily basis it is now happy memories that appear in my mind. You should also know, that whenever I think of him I also think about you. Of course I already knew that you were an extraordinary family but recounts of other peoples experiences in similar circumstances have made it quite obvious to me that you are unique. The warmth, kindness and consideration with which the Wilson family received me and accepted me in such a difficult situation is still unparalleled by anything I have yet heard of. I will be forever grateful to you for that.

My SecondLife is also doing well, Guyke, Millimina and Dej are still close, in fact Dej has moved in and set up house on the south west corner of Southern Charm sim. I am sure all three of them and Jeb also send you their warmest greetings for the holidays and the new year.

With love and big hugs!
Bock

I Received Email Also

Today I received an email from my family in Finland.

I did not see it at first because it had been swallowed by my spam-filter. I really should have trusted my well trained filter and let it stay there, but my curiosity got the better of me when i saw the name of the sender, alas.

Let me just say that two men in Finland can count themselves as very fortunate, because the only thing stopping me from posting the video contained in the e-mail is my consideration for the delicate olfactory senses of my highbrow readership.

You've Got Email Again, Vampi!

Please read A.S.A.P!

Hugs and kisses,
Bock

The Danger With Mesh-Clothing

I have some friends and family (read fashionistas Butch Diavolo and my brother in-law Drey Porchers, nee Messmer) who keep telling me how wonderful mesh-clothing is. Well call me old-fashioned, but I still cannot get over the fact that I resent clothing that needs my body to adapt to it instead of the other way around.

While I was in-world this afternoon, waiting for my prodigal stepson Guyke Lundquist to turn up in-world (as he had promised to do in an email sent to me at 4:23 AM this morning), I started to prepare the parcel where my Kiss-A-Swede event is taking place on Wednesday and chatted in instant message with friends who actually were in-world.

I also talked with Drey, whom I hadn't seen in-world recently. When the time was past 6 PM CET and afternoon turned to evening I gave up on Guyke coming in-world today and told Drey I was logging off for a nap. Before I left, Drey came over for a hug. That is when I discovered another drawback with mesh-clothing, see pictures below.

This is what my darling BIL saw on his screen.

And here is what I saw on my screen.

Luckily for my BIL I am Swedish and have no problems with nudity, even full frontal with no dick attached, so he got his hug anyway but don´t come preaching to me about how "awesome" mesh-clothing is until they get this problem fixed. Who in the world wants to turn up naked anywhere?

Oh, I should think Guyke forgot all about our nightly e-mail correspondence because he was not fully awake and probably had forgotten all about it when he woke up this morning. I love him to bits anyway!

P.S. I just checked my e-mail and there was a reply from Guyke to the e-mail I sent him before taking my nap. He tells me he had not forgotten and asked me to reread his e-mail from tonight, because he had actually told me he was coming in this evening.

So I thought, "Haha now I have him nailed to the wall", but as it turns out I must still have been half-asleep when I read the e-mail this morning. *blushes* Sorry Guykechen!

Blue & Non-Blue

Did you know that you have blue USB ports and non-blue USB ports on your computer?

Well, I didn't until today. I have wasted most of my day trying to reach my Internet bank and have been told that I do not have the correct card holder. This problem seemed to be known to my bank and there were instructions about how I should handle it. I followed the instructions meticulously and to the letter and still got the same error message "Incorrect card holder".

After removing and re-installing the shitty programs 15-20 times and a nap to release my frustration, I finally caved in and called customer support.

The friendly guy on the other end first tried to take me through the steps that were published on the banks website, I snapped at him that I had already done those steps 200 times (mildly exaggerating) and they did not help me.

He then asked me if I had a new computer, which I answered in the affirmative. He then went on to ask me if the USB port I was using was blue. The question amazed me because I thought a USB port is a USB port is a USB port. Apparently that is no longer true, there are now blue USB ports and non-blue USB ports, and I needed a non-blue one for my banking card holder.

When I found a non-blue port on the back of my computer everything worked fine. I thought I heard a silent giggle when I hung up after thanking the support guy.

The call with customer support lasted about five (5) minutes, I am considering suing my bank for the mental pain and distress and emotional anguish they made me suffer and the time wasted for not informing me about the blue and non-blue USB ports on their website. (No not really... I hate those frivolous and costly lawsuits, but I will make sure to send them a not so sweet e-mail about it.)

Greetings from Doug´s Family

Marsdeb after a makeover

I sent an email to Doug´s sister Debbie yesterday, and received her answer today. (Debbie is my link to Doug's first life family.)

As some of you may remember, Marsdeb Yoots was the avatar created by Doug's first life family to represent them at the second memorial service in SecondLife for Doug/Ars.

That memorial service was held at Calas Galdhon a week after his passing with more than 70 avatars joining us from the whole world (from New Zealand and Australia in the east to California, United States, and British Columbia, Canada, in the far west and everywhere in between.)

Through Marsdeb´s participation eight of Doug's first life family (including his parents) could join us at the beautiful memorial service.

"Tell the second life family hello. One of these days Marie and I might just surprise you and plan a trip to Sweden to meet you and others from second life who would care to join us.

Be happy as you know that is what Doug/Ars would want.

Love to all,
Debbie"

This would perhaps be an appropriate time to ask you all who may have been at the memorial service to please send me any pictures you may have from that occasion, I was too busy with myself to even think about taking pictures. You can either drop them on my SecondLife profile or send them to me in an e-mail to lundamats@gmail.com

My Wedding Anniversary

Soon after I had logged into SecondLife on February 12, 2010, my beautiful Ars also logged in.

After we had said our hellos, he asked me to check my email. When I asked why, he told me "Just check it now, Bock!"

As I opened the mail a message popped up from SecondLife which read:

"Dear Bock McMillan,

You have received a Second Life partner proposal from Ars Northmead.

Please visit the link below to view the proposal:

https://secure-web39.secondlife.com/my/account/partners.php

This proposal will expire on Friday, February 19, 2010."

I was totally elated and hurried to go to the SecondLife website to accept the proposal. When I have done that I got the message "Congratulations Bock McMillan you have now entered into a partnership with Ars Northmead!"

I was both laughing and crying with joy when I came back to my Ars, because this had been a very surprising move on his part after more than two years together. Both of us had often declared a rather skeptical and dim view on SecondLife partnerships, after seeing some acquaintances going through a series of partnerships that never lasted for long. However, we both believed that with our long past together we would do a better job of it so we spent a very happy day together.

Not too long after this Ars went missing for a few days. I could not reach him either by e-mail or any of his phones. Those days were awful and I was very worried for him. When I finally got hold of him again it turned out that Ars´s father had found him in a very poor and weakened state and had taken him to the parents house so they could look after him.

Ars still had a fever and sounded very weak when I talked with him, but he told me he was going to the hospital for a check-up the next day. At the same time I talked with Ars sisters and they promised to keep me updated on Ars condition. 

The medical examination the next day showed that Ars had double pneumonia and was in a terribly weak state so the doctors admitted him for further care and treatment. Although the doctors were hopeful in the beginning this changed when complications set in and Ars passed away on March 12, 2010, exactly one month after we had been partnered.

About a fortnight after Ars had passed away I was asked (for the first time), "Do you think Ars married you because he knew he was going to die?" The question really surprised me because it hadn't even crossed my mind and was blurted out by someone not close to either of us. I just told the person "No! Please don´t talk to me ever again." 

However the question made me think if that could be the case. The following occasions I was asked the same question - in kinder ways and by people who mattered - I was better prepared. 

I have told those who asked, that I honestly do not believe that Ars knew he was even sick, let alone would be dead soon, when he proposed to me. After a few months of pain and agony due to a broken femur things had actually just started looking up for him again. He had signed up for a gym to get back in shape and we had also begun discussing some changes on the sim. At the time of the proposal Ars was happier again. More than anything I felt like I had passed some sort of test, by sticking with him and supporting him through the bad time that he had just gone through. 

We were happy together and no one will ever convince me of anything else. This was, is and will always remain a happy day for me!

The pictures of Ars in this post were taken in December 2009 by Kent Hutchinson of KH Photography.