On Being Gay In A Straight World

I really love this picture and am so grateful to my friend Apmel Goosson for directing my attention to it! Believe it or not, the questions or reactions on the posters are still the ones we gays sometimes get, well slightly reversed.

Honestly I cannot remember a time when I did not fall in love with boys and men around me, even before I knew there was such a thing as being "gay". For a short while during puberty I fell in love with a girl named Miranda, but soon shifted my attention to Nils who had moved in on her while I stayed passively looking on.

I didn´t know there was anything "wrong" with being gay until I reached fifteen. Between the ages of fifteen and sixteen I would sometimes cry myself to sleep wishing that my "gayness" would go away, so that I could be "normal" and have kids and a family and perhaps even get a Volvo like all the rest of the straight Swedish guys around me.

Sometime around this time my parents sat me down and told me that they knew I was probably gay and that they were perfectly happy with that. They ensured me that they loved me and would always love me. They totally defused my anxieties about being "wrong", they made it "right".

I will always be very proud over my parents for doing that and will love them always.They have given me many reasons to be proud of them, both before and after that, but thats still on my "top three-list".

So I had a very much easier time than most of my gay friends who came out to their families in one disastrous way after another, even if they eventually got reconciled with their families - most of them.

My being gay has since then never been much of an issue in our family, although my parents did take me aside and talked to me on numerous times about the importance of "being careful" and use contraceptives if and when I had sex. AIDS and it´s consequences was, as you all may remember, very much in the news in the eighties and afterwards.

I don´t feel the need to telling everyone I am gay, neither do I lie about it if I am asked about it. Sometimes I chose a higher profile, others a lower but my sexual orientation is always there. Take it or leave it, it´s just an integrated part of me.

I still don´t have a Volvo...

Happy Halloween, Friends!

I would like to wish all of you a "Happy Halloween" and I hope you all have a great time partying! Hope to catch some of you at one of the parties.

This is my look this year - as captured by Blanche Argus (and stolen from her blog).

And don´t ya all come telling me its the same outfit I wore last year pfffffttt... Let me point out to you blind buggers that this year I am in the blue Scales skin, and not the green. And the clothes are completely different too, although still in black.

What a Wonderful Night

Well, I thought I should report about my night out in real life yesterday. Let me tell you from the start

I HAD A S-P-E-C-T-A-C-U-L-A-R EVENING!

The company was charming!
The conversation was ebullient and sparling with wit and moments of serious talk!
The food - ohhh the godlike food - was delicious from start to finish, and in all it´s components!
The wine could have been better, but was satisfactory!
The service was sexy, cute, tall, blonde, hunky, charming and impeccable!

I am so happy I decided to go, in spite of my preliminary hesitations. It was so fun and enjoyable. The only part missing to make it complete was that I didn´t get kissed the way you see my previous post and there was no sex at the end either... But a man´s got to take such things in his stride, huh?

Well I did get a lot of pecks on my cheeks a couple of warm hugs, so my need of tactile stimulation was satisified a bit also.

...an added bonus was the fact that this was the night we switched back from summertime, so I got an hours extra sleep.

P.S. I did go into SecondLife for a quick visit when I got home and found the Halloween party at Tara Hill was still going on. Although I could not stay very long (because I was "tired") and wasn´t really observant I did manage to catch a few sweet remarks from DJ Apollon.

Thanks for those remarks,Apollon, you topped my great night and made it even better! Big hugs!

The Internet is Dangerous

The googling of the Swedish word "sytlig", which I had never seen or heard of before, got me to this wonderful video.



I must say I always loved men who understand the importance of kissing well, and both of these guys come high on my score sheet - but the guy to the left perhaps has an advantage!

Let me share a kissing memory with you all.

I met this handsome man about ten years ago. He had a really awful kissing technique. As soon as we started kissing he rammed his rather long tounge deep, deep down my throat and started swirling it around really fast.

I stopped him milliseconds before I was about to throw up and asked him what the f**k he thought he was doing. He was totally amazed by my question and told me that "everyone" had always complimented him on his "good kissing skills". I tried to recondition him and show him what kissing is all about, but soon had to give up. And yes, I do believe there is a place for deep kissing, but its not constantly and all the time and nothing else.

Oh "sytlig", well it seems it means "disgusting" in the dialect spoken around the town of Borås in central Sweden. It was used by some homophobe to comment this video.

Autumn Song

Tove Jansson was a Swedish-speaking Finnish novelist, painter, illustrator, and comic strip author. She was the author of, among other works, the Moomin books. She was also a beautiful poet, and among many other things wrote the lyrics to this wonderful song "Höstvisa" ("Autumn Song") set to music by Erna Tauro.

I always prefer it with the Finnish group Cumulus, because they sing it in the authentic Finland Swedish dialect.




Autumn Song (English translation by Bock McMillan)

The road home was very long
and I have met no one
Now, the evenings are getting cool and late.
Please comfort me a little,
for now I'm pretty tired,
and at once so terribly alone.
I never noticed before,
that the darkness is so great,
thinking of all that one should.
There are so many things
I should have said and done,
and there is so very little I did do.  
Hurry my love, hurry to love, 
days getting darker by the minute.
Light our candles, it's close to night,
soon the flowering summer is over.
 
I'm searching for something 
that maybe we forgot about
and that you could help me to find. 
A summer is passing,
it is always so short,  
it is the dream of all you could have won.  
You will perhaps sometime, ere twilight turns blue 
before the meadows are dry and empty. 
Perhaps we will find each other, 
maybe we will find 
a way to get everything to bloom. 

Hurry my love, hurry to love,
days getting darker by the minute. 
Light our candles, it's close to night,
soon the flowering summer is over.

Now the winds of a storm out there 
and closed is the door of summer, 
it is too late to wonder and look.
Maybe I love less than I did before 
but more than you ever will know. 
Now we see all the lighthouses
around the autumn of coastline 
and hear the waves slowly wandering.
Only one thing is important 
and that's heart's content 
and to be together with each other.

Hurry my love, hurry to love, 
days getting darker by the minute.
Light our candles, it's close to night,
soon the flowering summer is over.

Nakna avatarer i SL 109

 

As usual on most Fridays during workweeks I have been hit by "The Friday coma" as I call it. Which for me means that I am really, really tired after the workweek, perhaps more so now than earlier due to the medication.

However before going off to bed tonight I checked my e-mail and saw a message from Blanche Argus where she asked me if my project for peace and art in SecondLife "Nakna avatarer i SL" ("Naked avatars in SL") was still accepting entries. I also saw she had sent something to my inventory. So of course I had to log in to SecondLife to check what it was.

When I got inworld I received this beautiful and sensual picture of Blanche Argus and her soon to be husband - if I have read the blogs correctly - Ob Almendros.

First let me send my warmest congratulations to the two lovebirds. Love is a rare gift, take good care of it!

Then let me finish by telling you all that "Nakna avatarer i SL" will continue to publish pictures in this project as long as this blog exists, so do not hesitate to send me more pictures.

My Plans for Halloween

I have been mulling, tossing and turning what to do for Halloween in SecondLife. Now I - for the first time - can safely say that my real life solved my problems in SecondLife.

Instead of spending my Halloween-weekend with you, my lovelies, I will be going to Copenhagen tomorrow with two old friends and their spouses.

We are going to wine and dine at the great - and still extremely affordable - wonderful little restaurant called "Den lille fede" ("The little fat guy").

The five of us have been there together a few times before, but this will be my first night on the town since Ars passed away.

We have already preordered the five courses menu with wine. I am so looking forward to this outing into real life with these nice friends.

Let me show you pictures of four of the courses, I found the pictures on the restaurants site.

Absolutely mouth watering, don´t you think so too?