The Torturing Dog

Today it came to my attention that I have been nourishing a torturer.

The dog torturer himself

I woke up this morning with a really bad nightmare where I thought I was fending off kisses from the presidents of the Russian Federation and the United States of America - the two men I detest most in the world (Not having met or knowing all men - yet.).

As I discovered when I woke up it was my dog Bilbo sticking his tongue under my upper lip and dragging it all the way to the other side of the mouth and then repeating it fast and furiously. The movement continued despite me trying to turn my head away. I was in a real panic when I finally woke up and discovered what was going on.

The whole awful experience reminded me of a time when I kissed a guy in Gothenburg, he apparently was well known and much loved for his oversized tongue. Well, I can tell you that I did not enjoy being kissed by him. He stuck his exceptionally long tongue all the way in and then started whisking it about furiously as is if there was a motor on it. The only thing stimulated by this was my vomit reflex. 

Some Guys...

...are so impolite that they don't even take their cigarettes out when they kiss...

Well, I take full responsibility for my transgression. There is no excuse but the explanation for this lack of courtesy was fatigue. Thankfully I am married to the second-most patient man in the world!

Kiss-In Against Putin in Argentina

Putin is visiting Argentina this week. LGBT rights orgs are staging a kiss-in tomorrow outside the Russian embassy… pic.twitter.com/jtWmjfS7AW
— Andrés Duque (@Blabbeando) July 10, 2014

(via J.M.G.)

"Little Father" is visiting Argentina and will be met by men kissing men and women kissing women outside the Russian embassy.

"Oh my!", as George Takei would say.

Visited by an Apparition

I will never forget it, you know? I was in bed with my boyfriend (now husband) Tomais, and he said to me "Bock" ... he always calls me Bock (well, when he doesn't call me "lover") which isn't that strange actually as Bock is my chosen name.

"Bock", Tom said, "what is that floating above us?" As I looked to check what Tom was talking about the apparition landed beside the bed we were laying on. 

We had been busy snogging, making out, canoodling and enjoying the warmth of each others bodies while exchanging a little spit from time to time.

As we watched in surprise and amazement the androgynous creature started stomping around the bedroom of our summer villa in way that would certainly impress RuPaul. When we asked who it was and what it was doing there, it answered haughtily, "You may call me Ghislaine and I am here to show you my latest outfit and the new model-AO I got from Henimations." 

We were duly impressed, of course! I was issued a gag order and sworn to secrecy concerning the apparition's true identity, which upset me a bit because this is the third one I have gotten in a short time.

Time Well Spent

Things to remember while kissing a guy (Tips from Lovepanky)
# Seated kisses are best if you plan to spend a while kissing and making out, especially if you’re in the car. It’s more comfortable, relaxed and you don’t need to worry about weak knees after a while.

# Kissing a guy while standing face to face is perfect for romantic soft kisses, especially the first goodnight kisses after a date.

# Kissing while standing can be uncomfortable at times, especially if you want his hands to get under your shirt. He’ll have to lift your shirt all the way up which is definitely inappropriate for a sweet first date.

# You don’t need to talk at all through the entire kissing experience. Your expressions will do all the talking.

# If you know you’re going to end the date with a kiss, chew gum or have a mint so you can avoid bad breath. If there’s no gum around, have a few sips of water and lick your lips. It’ll moisten it and feel more supple during the kiss.

# Go with the flow. Once you have a vague idea of how to perfect a first kiss with a new guy, you’ll never go wrong. So start slowly with a few lip grazes and work your way with each other.

# End the series of first kisses with a warm soft hug, or even a gentle smile and a last soft kiss on his lips. It’ll be the perfect way to end the date and leave a lasting impression on him.

# Make a move one last time. Making a move to kiss him one final time before saying goodbye after both of you back away lets him know that you enjoyed his kiss and would love to initiate it some other time.

And that’s all there is to know when it comes to kissing a guy and leaving a memorable impression. Just use these tips on how to kiss a guy for the first time, and you’ll enjoy it more and definitely leave him wanting more!

Canadians & Kissing

(Via J.M.G.)

Singer-songwriter Jonny “Gay Pimp” McGovern.highly recommends visiting Canada for their French Kissing, but perhaps he only means Quebec and the French Canadians not the Anglos....? Has anyone tried out the Anglo Canadians kissing skills yet and can tell me if they are worth testing also?

This video is a part of Tourisme Montreal’s new "Do Your Thing In MTL" video series, where they are trying to promote LGBT tourism to Montreal.

Thank You!

I would like to thank all of you who came - and all of you who have let me know you would have come had it not been on such an awkward time for you - to my Kiss-A-Swede event yesterday.

It was wonderful to have you all there and I had a great time! Let´s do this again next year, huh?

Today I actually feel like the picture my sexy buddy Ziggy Starsmith took of me yesterday! He has it on his blog with a whole lot of other great pictures. The caption is from his blog too (See my previous entry from 12:05 AM today for links to that post and other blogposts with pictures from the kissfest.)

" [T]he spent and shattered Bock McMillan, Laird of Southern Charm flat on his back...fainted from [Ziggy´s] kissing expertise!" Photography by Ziggy Starsmith

The Internet is Dangerous

The googling of the Swedish word "sytlig", which I had never seen or heard of before, got me to this wonderful video.



I must say I always loved men who understand the importance of kissing well, and both of these guys come high on my score sheet - but the guy to the left perhaps has an advantage!

Let me share a kissing memory with you all.

I met this handsome man about ten years ago. He had a really awful kissing technique. As soon as we started kissing he rammed his rather long tounge deep, deep down my throat and started swirling it around really fast.

I stopped him milliseconds before I was about to throw up and asked him what the f**k he thought he was doing. He was totally amazed by my question and told me that "everyone" had always complimented him on his "good kissing skills". I tried to recondition him and show him what kissing is all about, but soon had to give up. And yes, I do believe there is a place for deep kissing, but its not constantly and all the time and nothing else.

Oh "sytlig", well it seems it means "disgusting" in the dialect spoken around the town of Borås in central Sweden. It was used by some homophobe to comment this video.