Wherein this avatar's fates, adventures and experiences in, his thoughts and feelings about and his reactions to his first and second life are depicted with written messages, images and other audiovisual tools.
I am Bock in SecondLife and Bock is I in first life. We share thoughts, opinions, feelings, actions and reactions. We are one and the same and inseparable. On this blog I choose to share both my realities.
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| Photo by JJ Goodman |
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| Bock McMillan's Candidate Statement for a seat on the SP Board of Directors |
Dear [Julie],
Thank you very much for your email. It was much appreciated, and I was particularly touched by you having shared my words to Dej at his first life service. That way he got to hear it twice and cannot deny it.
Families are messy. We know each other so well and for such a long time. We know exactly how to hurt one another most and - in some cases - we use that knowledge. It is always sad when it happens, and I can understand how one feels helpless to alter the situation. So many cogs that must click into each other and balance each other at the same time for the relationships to improve.
My own family was on the opposite end of the spectra, possibly because both my parents came from dysfunctional family backgrounds and had sworn their children would never have to go through the same. Instead we were lovingly overprotected and had to fight ourselves free of their need to control our lives, still, there was always love and help when one needed it.
I, of course, knew that Dej had a very tense relationship with his family, although he never told me why. I didn't pry either. We shared the information we wished to share and nothing more was asked. For a while, after your father passed away, I thought he might be relenting but then it seemed to stop.
SecondLife is not "a game" per se, not for most of its users. There are no points to be won or anything of the sort. We build, socialize, party, make friends and families. You can be as outgoing as you wish or as withdrawn as you like. I'll send you a picture of my SecondLife avatar right now. Don't whistle too loudly, please, you may wake your neighbors!
Dej absolutely loved Jeff Buckley's rendition of "Hallelujah". He would have been extremely pleased to know you remembered that and played it for him at his service. Of that I am certain.
The fact that Dej and I got along so famously for eight years is a miracle, we both had a temper, although he was without a doubt the most volcanic. I used to tell him - repeatedly that I must be "The Most Patient and Humble Man in SecondLife" to still be friends with him. He would sing me a line from some silly musical and we would laugh at each other. (That is to explain the name of the picture I am sending you.)
As I believe I already told Andy, I had been badgering and begging Dej to go see a doctor the last two years, as his cough seemed to get continuously worse. He did not budge, and it is difficult to make a grown man listen and follow your advice if he doesn't want to. I was so angry with Dej when I heard from Andy that the cause of his death was untreated pneumonia. If he had still been alive I would have clobbered him over the head until he passed out.
Still, neither you, the rest of his first life family or I should feel guilty. None of us could have made him see a doctor if he didn't wish to. It would have been a case of finding him when he was passed out and still savable for that to work. And how would any of us now that when he did not reach out and tell us? No guilt, [Julie], no guilt. Dej was a grown man and made poor choices that in the end cost him his life. Although I will always love him and remember him, I refuse to feel guilty, neither should you!
Swedes hug a lot and all the time, so I am sending you a hug. Just deal with it 😉
Hugs,
[Bock]
Dear [Bock],
I am [Dej]'s sister, [Julie], and I had the honor of reading aloud your lovely tribute to him at the memorial service we held [Saturday] at the cemetery, where his remains will lie with our mother's.
We've had horribly hot and humid weather here the past month or so, but today was cool, rainy, and very overcast. Kind of like [Dej], in a way.
[Dej] and I did not communicate much in the past 14 years; that was really his choice and, since we had had a troubled relationship [...], that was okay with me. But the last few years, after I moved in with our mom to take care of her and as she slowly but surely declined, he seemed to soften somewhat. He wouldn't visit often (generally only at Christmas), but he always at least answered e-mails when I found it necessary to send out a family alert. When we saw him at her funeral last December, we were all aghast at his appearance--so thin, stooped, fully white-haired, coughing and wheezing.
He told me about his "Swedish friend" perhaps six or so years ago, as he tried to explain his Second Life existence. There is no doubt he thought the world of you, and his enthusiasm for his second life was unmistakable. It was clear he preferred that to his first life, and I wonder sometimes how blurred the lines between the two became. I don't play games online with other people; I am too timid. But Michael was cautious, too, and I am sort of amazed at how well you ended up knowing him, even though largely "virtually."
At his service, we played Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" as performed by Jeff Buckley. He sent this to me right after our mom died, so I know it meant a lot to him. I hope he enjoyed it.
I wanted to thank you, and the other friends I know he's made through Second Life, for caring and sharing your memories of a [Dej] who was largely closed off to us. Our particular family dynamic was never what you would call "loving," but believe me when I say that we are all quite devastated by his death, and will no doubt spend much time wondering whether there was anything else we could have done to prevent it.
Live long and prosper, [Bock].
Very best regards, [Julie]
In Trump's World:— Keith Boykin (@keithboykin) August 4, 2018
Obama: Kenyan
LeBron James: dumb
Don Lemon: dumb
Maxine Waters: low IQ
black countries: shitholes
black athletes: SOBs
Black tenants: unwelcome
Black workers: lazy
Central Park 5: guilty
Mexicans: rapists
Muslims: terrorists
Indians: fake
Nazis: very fine people