Showing posts with label Andy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Andy. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Response to [Julie]

Dear [Julie],
Thank you very much for your email. It was much appreciated, and I was particularly touched by you having shared my words to Dej at his first life service. That way he got to hear it twice and cannot deny it.
Families are messy. We know each other so well and for such a long time. We know exactly how to hurt one another most and - in some cases - we use that knowledge. It is always sad when it happens, and I can understand how one feels helpless to alter the situation. So many cogs that must click into each other and balance each other at the same time for the relationships to improve.
My own family was on the opposite end of the spectra, possibly because both my parents came from dysfunctional family backgrounds and had sworn their children would never have to go through the same. Instead we were lovingly overprotected and had to fight ourselves free of their need to control our lives, still, there was always love and help when one needed it.
I, of course, knew that Dej had a very tense relationship with his family, although he never told me why. I didn't pry either. We shared the information we wished to share and nothing more was asked. For a while, after your father passed away, I thought he might be relenting but then it seemed to stop.
SecondLife is not "a game" per se, not for most of its users. There are no points to be won or anything of the sort. We build, socialize, party, make friends and families. You can be as outgoing as you wish or as withdrawn as you like. I'll send you a picture of my SecondLife avatar right now. Don't whistle too loudly, please, you may wake your neighbors!
Dej absolutely loved Jeff Buckley's rendition of "Hallelujah". He would have been extremely pleased to know you remembered that and played it for him at his service. Of that I am certain.
The fact that Dej and I got along so famously for eight years is a miracle, we both had a temper, although he was without a doubt the most volcanic. I used to tell him - repeatedly that I must be "The Most Patient and Humble Man in SecondLife" to still be friends with him. He would sing me a line from some silly musical and we would laugh at each other. (That is to explain the name of the picture I am sending you.)
As I believe I already told Andy, I had been badgering and begging Dej to go see a doctor the last two years, as his cough seemed to get continuously worse. He did not budge, and it is difficult to make a grown man listen and follow your advice if he doesn't want to. I was so angry with Dej when I heard from Andy that the cause of his death was untreated pneumonia. If he had still been alive I would have clobbered him over the head until he passed out.
Still, neither you, the rest of his first life family or I should feel guilty. None of us could have made him see a doctor if he didn't wish to. It would have been a case of finding him when he was passed out and still savable for that to work. And how would any of us now that when he did not reach out and tell us? No guilt, [Julie], no guilt. Dej was a grown man and made poor choices that in the end cost him his life. Although I will always love him and remember him, I refuse to feel guilty, neither should you!
Swedes hug a lot and all the time, so I am sending you a hug. Just deal with it 😉
Hugs,
[Bock]

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Second Pride: Continued Trials and Tribulations (Edited)

This is probably old news for many of you, but as I have failed to report on it earlier I am doing so now.
Andy Long
Jagger Naughton
Last week we saw new changes on the Second Pride board as the board approved the resignations of Co-Chair Andy Long and IT Director Jagger Naughton. Both resignations cited "personal reasons" for this move.
Merrick Genesis
World Undercroft
At the same meeting two other board members, the Events Director Merrick Genesis and the Marketing Director World Undercroft, positions were discussed for "failure to attend meetings for three consecutive sessions without prior permission from the Chairman of the Board". Further discussion will take place at the next meeting when the board may also decide to release them from their positions.

Baz Ceawlin
The board also appointed Baz Ceawlin as new IT Director. As he has previously been a reliable board member we should be hopeful that he will stick with it until the next election.

After this "annus horibilis" with all the coming and going of members of the board, the Second Pride board now, apart from Baz, Merrick and World, consist of these reliable and stalwart people who will hopefully stay with us trough the fast approaching Second Pride festival period.

Petr Hastings Vanbeek, Chairman
a.k.a. "Big Daddy"

Marge Beaumont, Treasurer
a.k.a. "No Nonsense Marge"

Sutry Long, Security Director
a.k.a. "Sutry the Strong"
Karl Kalchek, Community Relations Director
a.k.a. "The Little Helper"

Jak Calcutt, Build Director
a.k.a. "The Best Little Hugger in SecondLife" & "Master Builder Extraordinaire"

P.S. I have corrected this post after receiving some feedback from members of the board.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Hotboy Resigns from Second Pride Board

At the Second Pride emergency board meeting today it was announced that the Events Director Hotboy Lockjaw (formerly known as MJshotboy Skytower) had resigned from the board on January 8, 2014, effective immediately. (The resignation has now been posted on the Second Pride website, Resignation of Hotboy Lockjaw - url)

Hotboy was duly thanked by the board for his efforts for Second Pride and it's membership and for a job well done, it was also noted that organizing events for such a diverse group is not an easy task.

The meeting then went on to a call for candidates for the vacancy as Events Director.

After some discussion it was decided that
  1. Interested parties should submit notecards to the Co-Chair/Secretary Andy Long a.s.a.p. but no later than Monday January 20, 2014, 5PM SLT, expressing their interest and outlining their experience in event planning and organizing in SL.
  2. The Second Pride forums will be opened for questions and responses until Friday January 24, 2014, 5PM SLT. 
  3. The time of the board meeting to review the candidates and appoint the new Events Director is a yet to be determined but will occur during the weekend of the January 25, 2014.
It was stressed that qualifications for the job include, skin thick as a rhinoceros, no first or second life obligations at all and lots of time to spare, exceptional prior experience and a great talent for organisation.

The minutes from the meeting are posted on the Second Pride website, Meeting Minutes of Emergency SP Board Meeting January 11, 2013.

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On a personal note, I would like to add the following.

I was extremely saddened to learn about Hotboy's resignation. However, after reading his statement, I fully understand that he must have been under great personal strain to finally take this step. I commend him for doing so. There is most certainly a limit to what attacks and pressures we can expect our elected officials to suffer for the common good.

To some degree I feel responsible for adding to the pressure by calling for events catering to all timezones. However, although I believe that such a move is necessary for Second Pride to grow, I would have accepted that it may not be doable at this time.

The new Events Director should hopefully be able to call upon the support of Hotboy, and others with previous experience of this post, as well as a group with an abundance of experience and ideas on how to handle things. This job cannot be accomplished without other people acting as shields, giving support and performing necessary tasks, thereby allowing the Events Director to focus on the main objectives.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Finally Moving Ahead

The Second Pride meeting on Sunday was a joy to witness for a devoted member. Instead of the bickering and infighting that has characterized the previous meetings, the few members that had assembled, saw a board working constructively to deal with the issues at hand and even raise their eyes to look into the future.
Left to right: Jagger Naughton, Sutry Long, Marge Beaumont, Karl Kalchek,
Andy Long, Jak Calcutt, Hottie B LockJaw and Merrick Genesis
The second most huggable man in SecondLife Jak Calcutt (Build Director) was granted access to the Second Pride avatar for the remainder of this year. The step was taken to avoid unnecessary delays in building as the avatar holds all the landscaping material, textures and buildings etc. that are owned by the organisation. The board and the membership present were convinced that enough safeguards are in place.

Jaggy’s Co-chair for IT Director is Baz Ceawlin, Andy’s Co-chair for Secretary/Co-chair is Story Long, Sutry’s Co-chair for Security Director is Jordan Anderson, Marge’s Co-chair for SP Treasurer is Jynxx Beebe. Karl, Jak, Hottie B (the board member formerly known as Hotboy) and Merrick are still looking for suitable candidates.

(Source my imperfect memory and Meeting Minutes of SP Board Meeting December 8, 2013)

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Second Pride - Finally A Full Board Again

I have been remiss in my bogging to keep you updated on Second Pride, if you desperately need someone to blame I suggest you speak to Mr. Tomais Ashdene.

However, there was a board meeting last Thursday (which I unfortunately could not attend due to timezone hassles) that presented quite a few interesting developments. If you should wish to read the complete and unadorned minutes please visit the Second Pride website, Meeting Minutes of SP Board Meeting Nov 20, 2013 (url).

Here are my personal reflections on what occurred.

The attending membership was informed that Damian Tar had chosen to resign as Chairperson of the Second Pride board. He was duly thanked for his services to Second Pride.

This news saddened me greatly. Damian has been treated abominably by parts of the gay community, both in the election process and afterwards. He has received countless vicious and unreasonable personal attacks ever since he declared his intention of running for Chair. Damian has not even been granted the common decencies, that are fundamental principles of every democratic society, the right of being considered innocent until proven guilty or the chance to be heard in his own defence. Instead he has been judged, condemned and hung out to dry by the mob in whispering campaigns on social forums with little or no mercy shown.

I have grown to like, respect and admire Damian, but I can also see that in the end the hostility and focus on his person took away his and the boards ability to perform the important work they are elected to do. With the added burden of his sickness it is understandable that he, for his own good and the good of Second Pride, finally decided to step down. Like the board, I wish Damian all the best for the future.

Petr Hasting-Vanbeeck was appointed to replace Damian as chairperson.

Petr is a hardworking, no-nonsense and charming man who is well equipped to handle this position. I trust him and his level headedness to assure that the board's focus now is turned to the business at hand.

Andy Long was appointed to the position of Secretary/Co-Chair. I welcome this appointment also, although I will implore the new secretary to in the future spell my last name correctly, i.e. McMillan with two capital M's.

Sutry Long was appointed to the vacant position of Security Director. I am certain that Sutry will be an asset in the boards continued work.

So we finally have a full board again, lets get some work done people!

IT Director Jagger Naughton informed that Baz Ceawlin had agreed to become his co-chair.

At the meeting Petr then commenced to announce the creation of an ad hoc committee to review the bylaws of Second Pride.The committee is to be co-chaired by board directors Karl Karlchek and Marge Beaumont and include "Doc Spad, Bock Mcmillan (sic!) and one more as yet unnamed committee member".

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Second Pride Board Reshuffles

It's been awhile since I was able to attend a Second Pride board meeting, but I follow whats going on closely by reading the agendas and minutes that are posted at the Second Pride website (url).

Lately there have been a few interesting developments that I would like to report for those of you who do not have the time, inclination or patience to read minutes.

Tylo Mabellon (picture), who was elected to the Marketing Chair, has been voted off the board for having missed more than three consecutive regularly scheduled meetings without notification. 

I am hoping that Tylo is well, despite having failed to respond to the questions from the board. He is a pleasant man that worked well as marketing director during the last board.
Merrick Genesis (picture) was voted in to replace Tylo as Marketing Chair at the board's latest meeting on November 13, 2013.

The elected Security Director Gaius Tripsa (picture) was voted off the board at the last meeting for having missed four consecutive regularly scheduled meetings without notification. 

An open call has been made for parties interested in taking over the Security Chair to submit a notecard to the secretary/co-chair Petr Hastings-Vanbeeck as soon as possible. The applications will be posted on the Second Pride website for discussion and comments by the membership.

I don't believe that losing Gaius as a board member is a loss to the board in any way. From what I have observed Gaius has since the elections mostly been destructive and acting as a puppet for the losing faction in the election. He has invariably tried to cause as much havoc and damage as he possibly could whenever or wherever he could, both at meetings and in-between them.

So far two applications have come in and have been posted on the forum. One of the applications is from a European man, Tylendel Falconer, and the other is from an American woman, Sutry Long. As I see it both of them would be qualified and a welcome addition in diversifying the board, whether it be to broaden its geographical base or to improve the gender balance.)

Petr Hastings-Vanbeeck urged the other members of the board to consider appointing co-chairs, so that no-quorum meetings can be avoided in the future. Petr also announced that Andy Long (picture) had agreed to be his Secretary Co-Chair for 2014. 

At the meeting the question was raised on why the board had changed the normal time of the board meetings from Sundays at 11AM to Wednesdays at 7PM. The reply given was that this "is currently (the) time when we can definitely get all the board together to be able to hold a meeting with quorum."

I certainly hope that the board will consider the question of what time to hold its meetings carefully in the future, when they have replaced all the vacancies and non-attendees and also appointed co-chairs, because the new time of the board meeting only accentuates the impression that Second Pride is solely an American affair, which I do not believe is quite the impression the board wishes to convey.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Acquiring a Habit

I know exactly when, where and why I started smoking and whom I was with at the time.

For a long time I was the only non-smoker in my immediate family. My parents, both my two sisters and their boyfriends (later husbands) were all smokers. When they lit up their cigarettes after dinners I used to run around frantically, open up windows and complain loudly about the smoke and the smell and how I couldn't breathe.

The summer when I was 26 years old, I decided to travel a month around Europe on Interrail. I was studying law at the university at the time and had suddenly discovered that I had an opening of four weeks after the term ended and my summer job started. As a young man with an overprotective father, I knew I could not tell my parents my decision too long in advance because that would give my father too much time to launch a campaign of trying to persuade me to travel in a "safer" way.

I broke the news to my parents the evening before I was going to leave. All hell temporarily broke lose and I was fed with images of myself laying murdered, slaughtered, violated, raped, maimed, brutalized etc. in every street, town square or hotel room in Europe by my poor father. When he calmed down, I promised to phone at least once a week and "if ever anything bad happened, however minor I may think it was". After making this deal with my devil father, I was graciously "allowed" to travel.

The morning after I left started with a short trip to Copenhagen to catch the "North Express" at one o'clock in the afternoon. The Nord Express is (or was) a daily railway connection  between Copenhagen and Paris and viceversa.

I was early, so I could choose where to sit and found a nice compartment with eight seats and settled in before the other passengers started arriving. The last one to arrive just before the train departed, was a tall and husky blond guy with trembling hands, amazing blue eyes and a dazzling smile. He sat down opposite me.

At first there was this usual awkward silence in the compartment but after awhile we all started talking a little and introducing ourselves and sharing our travel plans. The guy said his name was Andrew and that he was a Canadian from Newfoundland on vacation in Europe. He was on his way to Paris for a few days before he was joining an archeological excavation at some place outside the city.

Andy was a smoker, he smoked Marlboro's. I didn't mind a bit when he lit up a cigarette, strangely enough. When we had travelled together a while, he offered me to come with him for a cigarette in the corridor. I gladly went along with him and accepted the cigarette and puffed on it, carefully at first so as not to reveal that I was a beginner. We had a great time together and the smoke pauses repeated themselves during the trip until we settled in for the night. Andy stretched out his unshod feet towards my side and I did the same and in that way we went to sleep resting our heads on the others feet.

When we arrived in Paris we decided to get a room at a hotel together, until it was time for him to continue to his damn excavation. We had four wonderful days together in Paris. I had fallen in love and was sad to part. We stayed in touch the first six months after, but then with time and distance and other men the letters and cards swindled and finally ended. The only thing I was left with was my newly acquired habit of smoking.

To this day I still smoke Marlboro's and I think of Andy when I see a man with more than usual tremor in his hands.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Life Is A Cabaret @ Spinners

Yesterday I gave ya'll the prologue, well parts of it, because I said nothing about the many, many hours I spent shaving my face and every nook and cranny of my body. In some hard-to-reach places I even had to beg for assistance by an unnamed hair-remover. But let's forget about those traumatic moments now, suffice it to say that it takes some pain to be pretty.

Guykita, Butchette and the radiant Bocquerelle arrived to the venue on the specified time only to find that we were the only three in full drag, well except for Andy Long and his beautiful husbands, Story and Sutry. Not only that but - to add disaster to discomfort - it turned out there was an alpha layer on the ballroom floor that made Butchette's and my amazing gowns from Paris Metro disappear. "Alpha on alpha, just doesn't work, as every noob knows!", said Butchette (or something to that effect) as we moved on to the stage (which was non-alpha).
Guykita, Butchette & Bocquerelle
Photo by Butch Diavolo 
Butchette looking absolutely divine
Photo by Butch Diavolo
Isn't it amazing what can be accomplished with highlights and lowlights? Just look at Butchette's wonderful bosom, who would think that if you saw him from the side he was as flat chested as he always is.
The radiant Ms Bocquerelle, lairdess of Southern Charm etc.
Photo by Butch Diavolo
Story, Andy & Sutry Long
Kharissa, Pieni & Larz Kas
Poor little Pieni, was threatened by Butchette to be skinned and made into shoes. Brave little Pieni was not frightened by the bully because - as I was told later - "Lol he wuld have been in real trouble then. I has sharp teethies and twelve protective uncles. AND aunties and cousins. Hehe".

After a grueling two hour period eventually more and more people started showing up in the requested attire, although some were still not confident enough.
Former Second Pride Chair Doc Spad with one of our DJ's for the evening Karl Kalchek. 
Ms. Regina Yifu (in a creation she made herself) joined Butchette and me in a dance
Andy Long, the second DJ of the evening, surrounded by wives and a sister
We even had the pleasure of being joined by the renowned SecondLife
performance artist SaveMe Oh for a while (before she was kicked out
for creating lag with her sheep and meadows rezzed all over the ballroom)
Butchette, I and my brother in-law Dej with some of SaveMe's sheep
A dazzling beauty whose name I am afraid I have forgotten.
I am not even sure if she was in drag or is a woman.
Well known party goer, illustrious blogger and curmudgeonly Co-Chair of
Second Pride Petr Hastings-Vanbeeck (someone has to keep the others in line)
Hotboy Lockjaw, our last DJ for the evening, for the occasion dressed as Ms Dolly Parton

Friday, September 20, 2013

Spinners; Life Is A Cabaret

Spinners presents: Life is a Cabaret!

Come join us for a night of high drag! Our stellar (and oh so beautiful) entertainment includes:
DJ Karl from 12-2pm slt
DJ Andy from 2-4pm slt and
DJ Hotboy (performing as the always voluptuous Dolly Parton!) from 4-6pm slt

Wanna see how the other half lives? Now's your chance. Come spend an evening in their shoes!

We'll see you there!

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OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! I have absolutely nothing to wear!

Butch darling, get online a.s.a.p. I need you as a stylist NOW!

I hope to meet all you beautiful drag queens and kings there tomorrow, be there or be S-Q-U-A-R-E!

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Rumors...

As we are getting close to the end of the voting period the air is rife with rumors of what may or may not happens once the results are declared. The last days the tumors have mostly been along this line "if so-and-so doesn't get elected to this or that position (usually chairperson) X, Y and maybe even Z will resign from the board even if they have been elected"

I sure as hell hope that the rumors are untrue, because if that should indeed happen the persons resigning from the board will have proved themselves to be blatant and shameless liars and completely untrustworthy persons who didn't give a damn about Second Pride or the LGBT community in SecondLife at all, but were intent on making Second Pride their own little roadshow for a year.

I would especially like to urge the two running for chairperson of the board to see to it that anything along these lines doesn't happen, because I - and I believe a large part of the community - will hold them responsible.

Below I have listed how the candidates responded in part to my question about "a ticket".

Dextrum Boucher: "I will of course work with whoever is elected, this is a basic principle of democracy. Once the election is over, we pull together and put the will of the people to work."

Damian Tar: "No I have not formed an alliance of any sort formally or informally."


Andy Long:  "I have not even made recommendations to my friends as to who they should vote for, just that they should choose and vote for the person they feel is the best candidate. I feel like we should stand on our own merits and qualifications, and as such, i have tried to ally myself with all the candidates, and not just a select few."

Petr Vanbeeck: "I feel that I can work anyone who is elected. And will do my best to accomplish that."

SquirtN Wonder: "I am not part of a ticket"

Mz Marville: "...there was discussion about the formation of a ticket. However, a formal ticket was not utilized..."

Hotboy Lockjaw: "As far as i know there is no official or unofficial ticket. All we can do is support other members of the board if we are elected."

Garrett Ceriano: "... this list is not evidence that we don't believe the others are not excellent candidates. There are other candidates that I would enjoy working with. I know other candidates on the list would love to as well."

Karl Kalchek: "... if elected we would work together, and I meant it."

Joshie: "I have absolutely NOT formed any ticket nor have I reached out to create any type of “arrangement” with anyone else running in the Second Pride Board Elections."

Mr G: "I will work with whomever gets elected Bock. I shall try to do it productively – but until you actually work with someone that cannot be answered in a simple yes or no."

Gaius Tripsa: "I look forward to working with the new Board members, whoever the voters select, for the good of the LGBT community and the Second Pride Festival."

Tylo Mabellon:  "I’ll work with whoever is voted to the Board this year regardless of the outcome. I wish everyone well in the election!!"

Jaggy: "In no way, shape or form have I ever considered myself part of some alliance or ticket. The community should be THE alliance…every friggin’ segment of it"