Ars In Memoriam 2016

Joseph Douglas Wilson Jr., 

in SecondLife a.k.a Ars Northmead

★ April 21, 1953 (First life)

★ October 25, 2006 (SecondLife)

† March 12, 2010

Photo: Pencil variation of an original photo by Kent Hutchinson of KH Photography.

Ars In Memoriam 2014

Photography by Kent Hutchinson of KH Photo

Joseph Douglas Wilson Jr. a.k.a

Ars Northmead

★ April 21, 1953 (first life)
★ October 25, 2006 (SecondLife)
† March 12, 2010

On this day four years ago my beloved husband Ars passed away after a short illness.

Ars' brothers Dejerrity Mycron and Jeb Nicholls arranged a Memorial Service at Calas Galadhon where Truck Meredith and Tymus Tenk kindly let us use the homestead sim Mirromere for a week before, and their main sim for the big Memorial Service on March 20, 2010. Bora Rossini had created a beautiful setting for the memorial.

All of Ars' family and friends in SecondLife gathered there as well as Doug's parents, one of his sisters, his brothers and and even some of his nephews, nieces and cousins, who joined us in front of a computer screen using an avatar they had created.

I have asked for pictures from that memorial service earlier and this year I was happy to receive two from our friend elis Eun.

Photography by elis Eun

Photography by elis Eun

Although I never at the time thought that I would find love and true joy again, as it turns out life can work miracles and today I am happily married to my darling Tomais. I know that Ars would have wished this for me.

More Than Third Rezday...

My wonderful, sweet and awesome sister Millimina Salamander first rezzed into SecondLife on December 6, 2008, which means that she today celebrates her... Ugh, I am terrible with really high numbers so let's just say she is more than three years old from this days onwards.

Millimina, photography by Kent Hutchinson-Laurent

Without the love, support and encouragement of this delightfully crazy, marvelously bitchy and superbly humorous woman my life would be dismal. Millimina always (Always Millimina, and don't you forget it!) gives more energy than she takes to everyone around her, and to me more than to most others.

Happy more than third rezday, my darling sister! Love you always!

Selfie I, photography by Millimina Salamander

Selfie II, photography by Millimina Salamander

Millimina á la Bjork, photography by Kent Hutchinson-Laurent

Almost All the Best Asses

This is a amazing picture by the SecondLife master-photographer Kent Laurent (neé Hutchinson). All the greatest asses of Second Life are assembled, well with the obvious exception of one...

"Queue Pool Model" by Kent Hutchinson 

You can see more of Kent's amazing photography on his Flickr page

My Lovely Ars

Ars Northmead (October 25, 2006 - March 12, 2010)

in first life also known as

J.D. "Doug" Wilson (April 21, 1953 - March 12, 2010)

in loving memory

For Christmas 2009 I gave my closest family members photo sessions with the renowned photographer Kent Hutchinson of KH Photography. 

Ars was the first to make an appointment with Kent and have his pictures taken. About a week later Kent invited us back to the studio to look at the proofs and to select which four pictures we wanted out of the 20 that were on display there. 

Ars, Millimina and I went to the studio together, I had butterflies in my stomach and was nervous that Ars would be disappointed with the results. I needn't have worried. Kent had done a splendid job in capturing the essence of my lovely Ars. After taking only one look at them all, I told Kent that we wanted all of them. Every single one.

Although Ars and I had been together for two years at the time and I loved him deeply, seeing the pictures - especially the one I am using in this post - made me fall in love with him all over again.

Millimina´s 4th Rezday

Believe it or not, but today is actually the fourth rezday of my wonderful younger sister Millimina Salamander. She rezzed into SecondLife on December 6, 2008. 

I am not quite sure when we met, but I know where it was. I was at a Bara Jonson gig when I suddenly got an instant message from an unknown woman. It was in Swedish so I understood she had read my profile. I cannot remember what she said or what we talked about, but I knew that I was in love, platonically of course because I had Ars waiting for me at home. 

Millimina by Kent Hutchinson (KH Photography)

After that day we have talked, cried, laughed and hugged constantly and I hope we will do so for many, many years to come still.

When I am old and Millimina is still ageless we have agreed that we will settle down together in a a villa in Tuscany, Italy. I have promised Millimina that she will have her own private chauffeur, a younger man of portuguese origin with a past as a professional football player. (And I mean real football, what the Americans call soccer.)

Grow old along with me!

The best is yet to be,

The last of life, for which the first was made.

Robert Browning (1812-1889)

Happy rezday my darling Millimina, love you always!

NOH8 Avatars 22

Dillon Rhiano, photo by Kent Hutchinson of KH Photography

For more information about the The NOH8 Campaign and how to join it in SecondLife please read my previous post The NOH8 Campaign in SecondLife. There you will also find instructions on where to find the necessary duct tape and cheek painting free of charge.
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If you would like to be a part of the NOH8 Campaign on this blog please send me your picture (fullperm), I will be happy to post it. Name the picture NOH8 and your avatar name and drop it on my profile or send it to my email lundamats@gmail.com.

NOH8 Avatars 21

Jorge Hutchinson, photo by Kent Hutchinson of KH Photography

For more information about the The NOH8 Campaign and how to join it in SecondLife please read my previous post The NOH8 Campaign in SecondLife. There you will also find instructions on where to find the necessary duct tape and cheek painting free of charge.
---

If you would like to be a part of the NOH8 Campaign on this blog please send me your picture (fullperm), I will be happy to post it. Name the picture NOH8 and your avatar name and drop it on my profile or send it to my email lundamats@gmail.com.

"I Am So Hot!", He Said

It is not easy to be a single parent - and a stepparent at that - to a young man in his zesentwintig weer (26+), when the hormones are carousing wildly in his veins.

The cuteness that is Guyke™
Photo by Kent Hutchinson of KH Photography

Yesterday when I was in Instant Messaging with my son he suddenly blurted out, "I am so hot! My beautiful tan skin is glistening with pearls of salty, sweet, sweat."

Red alert! Red alert! All the warning signals sounded off in my mind. "Uh oh, what is wrong", I thought to myself, "is he really making a pass at me? Better pretend you do not understand and play it down!"

"Well, yes of course you are hot! What do you expect with Ars´s genes running in your genetic makeup." ("Good one!", I thought this would remind him of his father and my relationship to him.) "Besides, I already know you are hot, I have know you for close to five years remember?"

Guyke started laughing at me, can you imagine? "I was talking about the temperatures in Belgium", he said, "We have had a really warm day."

Sighing with relief that it was a misunderstanding I laughed with him at myself and my paranoia.

The Laird´s Envoy Returns

Millimina, czarina of Solace Island and other distant territories
Photography by Kent Hutchinson/KH Photography

The McMillan Household sent an envoy to the Court of St James's to congratulate Queen Elizabeth II, constitutional monarch of the sixteen Commonwealth realms, head of the fifty-four members of the Commonwealth of Nations and head of state of the Crown Dependencies, at the celebration of her Diamond Jubilee.

The envoy was the younger sister of the Much Honored Bock McMillan, laird of Southern Charm and prince of Cascade Falls, the enchanting Millimina Salamander, czarina of Solace Island and other distant territories of the McMillan Household.

However the princess returned prematurely from London today with a case of "political flu". It is rumored that the dispute  between the McMillan Household and the Court of St James´s concerns the suggested seating arrangements at the festivities.

The laird would not comment on the diplomatic kerfuffle other than saying "We are very happy that our little sister is safely home again. Welcome back, Millimina!"

My Wedding Anniversary

Soon after I had logged into SecondLife on February 12, 2010, my beautiful Ars also logged in.

After we had said our hellos, he asked me to check my email. When I asked why, he told me "Just check it now, Bock!"

As I opened the mail a message popped up from SecondLife which read:

"Dear Bock McMillan,

You have received a Second Life partner proposal from Ars Northmead.

Please visit the link below to view the proposal:

https://secure-web39.secondlife.com/my/account/partners.php

This proposal will expire on Friday, February 19, 2010."

I was totally elated and hurried to go to the SecondLife website to accept the proposal. When I have done that I got the message "Congratulations Bock McMillan you have now entered into a partnership with Ars Northmead!"

I was both laughing and crying with joy when I came back to my Ars, because this had been a very surprising move on his part after more than two years together. Both of us had often declared a rather skeptical and dim view on SecondLife partnerships, after seeing some acquaintances going through a series of partnerships that never lasted for long. However, we both believed that with our long past together we would do a better job of it so we spent a very happy day together.

Not too long after this Ars went missing for a few days. I could not reach him either by e-mail or any of his phones. Those days were awful and I was very worried for him. When I finally got hold of him again it turned out that Ars´s father had found him in a very poor and weakened state and had taken him to the parents house so they could look after him.

Ars still had a fever and sounded very weak when I talked with him, but he told me he was going to the hospital for a check-up the next day. At the same time I talked with Ars sisters and they promised to keep me updated on Ars condition. 

The medical examination the next day showed that Ars had double pneumonia and was in a terribly weak state so the doctors admitted him for further care and treatment. Although the doctors were hopeful in the beginning this changed when complications set in and Ars passed away on March 12, 2010, exactly one month after we had been partnered.

About a fortnight after Ars had passed away I was asked (for the first time), "Do you think Ars married you because he knew he was going to die?" The question really surprised me because it hadn't even crossed my mind and was blurted out by someone not close to either of us. I just told the person "No! Please don´t talk to me ever again." 

However the question made me think if that could be the case. The following occasions I was asked the same question - in kinder ways and by people who mattered - I was better prepared. 

I have told those who asked, that I honestly do not believe that Ars knew he was even sick, let alone would be dead soon, when he proposed to me. After a few months of pain and agony due to a broken femur things had actually just started looking up for him again. He had signed up for a gym to get back in shape and we had also begun discussing some changes on the sim. At the time of the proposal Ars was happier again. More than anything I felt like I had passed some sort of test, by sticking with him and supporting him through the bad time that he had just gone through. 

We were happy together and no one will ever convince me of anything else. This was, is and will always remain a happy day for me!

The pictures of Ars in this post were taken in December 2009 by Kent Hutchinson of KH Photography.

Extreme Makeover

As a blogger I feel I must - at least sometimes - allow myself to be influenced by complaints from my readers.

Although I will always maintain that this is my blog and I bloody hell right what I want to as long as stay well within the scope of the blog providers rules, the Swedish law and normal human decency.

Today I received a complaint from another blogger that my blog header was way too blurry and she kindly offered me a sharper image. I rejected the proposal and decided to try a new look without reverting to black, so I landed on this transparent-grey-white beehive look.

As a blog header I chose a picture that SecondLife photographer Kent Hutchinson took. I am still in my "dead eyes" in the picture, but you will have to live with that. Hope you like it because I am sticking with it until December!

My Hunk

I used Photofunia on one of Kent Hutchinsons pictures of my Ars. I liked the results so I am sharing it with you all.

Nakna avatarer i SL 100

This spot in my project for art and peace in Second Life has - almost since the start - in my mind been reserved for a very special avatar in my Second Life, my late partner Ars Northmead.

In this post I will paste in the eulogy I gave at the second Ars Memorial Service on March 20th, 2010, at the beautiful Calas Galadhon sim. Tymus Tenk and Truck Meredith, the owners of that sim, had kindly allowed us to have the second memorial service for Ars there.

You must remember this eulogy was given only eight days after Ars passing away, so please excuse any flaws. There is so much I now want to add and edit, but I will refrain from doing so.

"I followed my Ars for two and a half years. He was the fixed point around which my SL-life revolved and it spilled over into both our real lives too.

Ars was a hard working man. I can hardly remember a time when he was not working. Either he was a DJ himself or managing DJs, building/creating beautiful things or amazing sets for parties or just gardening and decorating at home or teaching me or someone else something.

Ars always loved sharing what he had learned with others and he was the most patient teacher.

Ars was the most wise, loving, gentle and kindhearted man I have ever known. He was always there for me without fail, whenever I needed him no matter how busy he was.

The greatest confirmation of our love will always be the fact that, when he got seriously ill, Ars told his RL family about me. That enabled us to keep communicating until close to the very end. For that alone I will be eternally grateful to Ars.

The ease with which his family accepted the fact that Ars had a partner in cyberspace will always amaze me. The warmth, care and consideration his family has shown me since is a huge support for me at this sad point in my life.

I am so happy that Ars parents, sister and brothers and the rest of his RL family are with us today, as we commemorate his life with us in Second Life.

Earning Ars love was my greatest achievement and loving him was my greatest reward. I am so proud and grateful to have loved and been loved by a man like him.

Ars was in our lives for too short a time. But in our hearts he will be - Forever Ars."

These pictures were taken by Kent Hutchinson of KH Photography about two months before Ars passed away. They show you my beautiful man in some of the best pictures ever taken of him.

When I first saw the pictures, I fell in love with Ars all over again - even if it never really was the looks of his avatar that I loved. It was the man behind the avatar that caught my mind and heart and forever held me captive.

Some people tell me that you cannot really love someone whom you have never met in real life. Once and for all I would like to tell them: "Stuff it, I know what I feel for Doug and I know what Doug felt for me. Don´t ever dare tell me it was not real love!"

Jadå, ni är fortfarande välkomna att skicka era bidrag till mig antingen inworld eller till min mejl lundamats@gmail.com

Yes, you are still welcome to send your contributions to me either inworld or to my mail lundamats@gmail.com

Nakna avatarer i SL 1

Idag börjar jag min serie: ”Nakna avatarer i SL”. Med tanke på gårdagens händelser på Haven - går jag hårt ut och lägger upp en bild på mig själv...

Jag ser fram emot att få publicera fler smakfulla bilder på er andra framöver!

Foto: Kent Hutchinson, KH Photography
SLurl: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Pocasset/47/58/690

Miss You babe!

Love you and miss you so much my strong and beautiful man. Come back to me soon, my darling!

Foto: Kent Hutchinson, KH Photography

SLurl: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Pocasset/47/58/690

Love You babe!

Just nu tänker jag mycket på Stevie Wonders "You Are the Sunshine of My Life"

"You are the sunshine of my life
That's why I'll always be around,
You are the apple of my eye,
Forever you'll stay in my heart


I feel like this is the beginning,
Though I've loved you for a million years,
And if I thought our love was ending,
I'd find myself drowning in my own tears


You are the sunshine of my life,
That's why I'll always stay around,
You are the apple of my eye,
Forever you'll stay in my heart


You must have known that I was lonely,
Because you came to my rescue,
And I know that this must be heaven,
How could so much love be inside of you?


You are the sunshine of my life, yeah,
That's why I'll always stay around,
You are the apple of my eye,
Forever you'll stay in my heart


[Background] Love has joined us,
Love has joined us,
Let's think sweet love"

Den får mig att tänka på min älskade vackre, kloke, kärleksfulle, modige, starke och omtänksamme Ars.

Foto: Kent Hutchinson, KH Photography
Slurl: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Pocasset/47/58/690

Min älskade Ars!

Jag skickade iväg min Ars till SL-fotografen Kent Hutchinson. Idag fick jag detta smakprov...

Visst är han vacker min älskling? Jag längtar redan ihjäl mig efter resten av bilderna...

Foto: Kent Hutchinson, KH Photography
SLurl: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Pocasset/47/58/690


P.S Jag skickade också två vänner till Kent och har fått se deras bilder. De var underbara!

Medan andra julgransplundrade...

Igår hade jag tänkt mig en lugn kväll med lite småmysigt julgransplundring på Solace Island arrangerat av den trevliga Kay Uggla, min syslöjds- och designlärare i SL, men ack så blev det inte!

Istället var det så intensivt, som det kan bli när jag loggar in i SL ibland och möts av en verderbörlig ***ATTACK**** av IM´s och meddelanden från vänner och de olika grupper jag tillhör.

Inte nog med det, på det bakre däcket - där jag brukar landa - står min älskade Ars och väntar på mig. Efter den inledande kramen får jag veta att han är ilsken över något som har inträffat i hans SL-företag tidigare under dagen. Det tar en stund att låta honom prata av sig och lugna ner sig tills han bara är lite småförbannad men konstruktiv. Dessutom håller han på att greja med sina datorer och det är något som krånglar.

Samtidigt som jag pratar med Ars, så läser jag igenom och svarar på de andra meddelandena jag har fått. Visar det sig att den andre är online blir det ju konversationer, kortare eller längre.

Jag pratar med Ars SL-son Guyke Lundquist, en underbar belgare som är ett värre shoppingdjur än jag själv. Han är lycklig över att han fått besked om att han idag kommer att få bilderna från den "photoshoot" han fick i julklapp. Under samtalets gång får han dessutom bilderna och hans lycka exploderar eftersom bilderna visar sig vara väldigt lyckade.

Jag pratar under tiden även med Kent Hutchinson, fotografen, om hur nöjd Guyke och jag själv är med bilderna han tagit. Han berättar att de andra två han har fått i uppdrag att fotografera också kommer att få sina bilder inom kort. Ett av fotoobjektens - en känd svensk SL-bloggare med utsökt bakdel - vägran att le på bilderna har skapat särskilda problem. Hon ser arg ut på bilderna, säger han, och det tycker han inte är riktigt lyckat så han måste nog "photo-shopa" lite. Jag hälsar honom att även om jag älskar kvinnan i fråga högt och rent så är hon en "biatch" så hon kan gott se lite argsint ut på bilderna också.

Mitt under dessa tre samtal dyker även den ljuvliga Millimina Salamander på mig, härovan omnämnd som innehavare av bakdel och "biatch". Hon undrar om jag har hör från fotografen Kent eftersom hon vill se bilderna nuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Det fantastiska med Millimina är att även om hon säger sig vara på dåligt humör så är det trevligt att samspråka med henne. Hon är en av de underbaraste människor jag råkat på i SL. Charmig, vacker och rolig. Att hon dessutom ibland tänker lika elaka tankar som jag har gjort att hon känns som en verklig själsfrände.

Mittialltihopa dyker det upp ett meddelande från den störste svenske SL-musikanten av dem alla, Bara Jonson. Som vanligt på tok för sent, denna gången bara 8 minuter innan giget börjar, får man reda på att han nu skall göra en av sina sista framträdanden innan han lämnar USA för att återvända till Sverige igen. Det framgår också att det är oklart när han kommer att kunna framträda i SL igen eftersom han saknar bostad med bredbandsuppkoppling och/eller förstående grannar. Eftersom jag har hederstiteln "Bara Professional Stalker" får jag ju masa mig dit, trots att jag egentligen inte alls har lust. Väl där blir det ändå en underbar föreställning och jag njuter i fulla drag. Baras röst är bättre än på mycket länge, så varm och mjuk och klar. Tyvärr vara vi bara cirka femton stycken där som fick tillfälle att uppleva detta.

Efter Barakoncerten tänkte jag ändå - ordentligt försenad - släpa med mig Ars till julgransplundringen, men han var inte alls intresserad eftersom han höll på att uppdatera en av sina datorer och det ägnade han sig minsann hellre åt än en massa konstiga svenska seder.

Nåväl jag bestämmer mig för att åka iväg till Solace själv - alltid råkar man väl på någon trevlig man känner. Strax efter att jag landat på Solace plingar et nytt IM, det är en gammal vän som har varit borta från SL ett litet tag som hör av sig. Det visar sig att hon har dragit sig undan SL eftersom hon har haft en kärlekshistoria här som övergått till RL ("real life" eller "riktiga livet") och sedan slutat djupt olyckligt. Vi har ett långt samtal där hon får prata av sig - under ömsesidiga tårar och skratt. När vi är slutpratade märker jag att klockan redan har hunnit bli 23.00 och att jag måste gå och lägga mig för att orka med morgondagens jobb i RL.

Så jag säger godnatt till alla de trevliga människorna på Solace Island som jag egentligen inte alls hunnit prata med för att åka hem till Ars för att få min godnattkram.

Nu skall ni bara veta i redogörelsen saknas mina samtal med två av mina undersåtar i Tiny Empires (se tidigare inlägg), med min TE-grupp och med åtminstone tio andra vänner...

"Multitasking is not my forte!!!"

...och nu tänker jag logga in för en lugn, behaglig och stillsam kväll i SL, hoppas jag åtminstone...


(Bild: Ika Cioc.