Madonna - The Virtual History Tour

I dragged along my scrumptious "love interest" to this event at Provincetown yesterday. I had the most wonderful time in the company of Tomais. The pleasure was added to by the presence of his friend Keebo and my friend Butch. The two friends "just happened" to turn up, no doubt to see to it that nothing untoward took place. On a sidenote, I must inform ya'll that I have so far successfully guarded my regrown virginity, except for sessions of cuddling and kissing. This in spite of warnings from Guyke not to let the hot Tomais "wait too long". Oh, I must also tell you though that I am slowly getting better at emoting, which is a tricky art form indeed.

Over to the main story of this post, Madonna's Virtual History Tour in SecondLife.

I had a great time at the event for about 90 minutes, at which point I just got tired, restless and a bit bored - unfortunately the show continued for another 30 minutes. Editing is essential in all all artforms! I could easily shorten this otherwise exceptional performance with stunning avatars, amazing sets and well synced dances, just by cutting away the many and long breaks for scenery changes - when the audience was left looking at the curtain or a façade and the Lady Gaga insertions.

 

Essential Tools for SecondLife Residents

Last week I visited the Xcite store for the first time in ages. For safety I brought along my regular entourage, Guyke and Butch, those two can scare away any potential suitor.

Let me divert a little to give you an example from yesterday evening. The three of us were in a completely different store inworld checking to see if there was anything new. A woman came up to us and made unwanted advances towards Guyke and myself, I think she avoided Butch because he is so obviously a hardass and a screaming faggot (in his sublime and humble way). Well, I just simply tried to ignore the woman but Guyke wouldn't have any of that so he shouts out in local: "OK bitch, next time you walk into me I will need to kill you!", which made the woman turn her attention to other potential shoppers instead.

Back to the visit to the Xcite store. When we were looking around there, I saw these two invaluable tools/services for inworld dating and/or cruising.

First of all a "Virgin Restoration Service"

And then a "Virginity Detector"

I tried it out on myself and three of my friends. The results for myself and Butch were quite unexpected, as I was informed that the two of us are in fact virgins. For Dej and Guyke the detector almost burst into flames as it informed me: "Hell no, no way and no how are these guys virgins!" (Well, it really only said that they were NOT virgins but I chose to embellish a little.)

Xcite's webpage

The Loophole (NSFW)

(via J.M.G.)

"All my life I've been good.
Do what my mom and dad and god say I should.Go to church and bible school to live by god's rule.So whatever people tell meThat the bible tells me, I will do.

Walk the halls at my school with my purity ring.Unlike those other girls, I got my morals intact.It was easy to do 'til I got a boyfriend
And pardon my French, but he's cute as heckAnd I made a pact to keep my hymen intact and Jesus and I are tight.

Never learned about the birds and bees.I was taught to keep an aspirin in between my kneesBecause the bible says premarital sex is wrong,But Jason says that guys can't wait that long.I don't want to lose him to someone who will do him.
I need to figure something out.

Well there's a loophole in the scripture that works really wellSo I can get him off without going to hell.It's my Hail Mary full of grace.In Jesus's name, we go to fifth base.

Oh thank you for making me holy.And thank you for giving me holes to choose fromAnd since I'm not a godless whore,
He'll have to come in the back door.

Therefore, fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus.The Good Lord would want it that way.That sweet sensation of a rock-hard rationalization.It's just between you and me.
Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see.

It's hard to be as pure as me- to resist the urge to lose my vaginal virginityI'll wait until my marriage bed to give my husband my un-salty maiden headSo take out your cock, shove it in my ass, fuck me until you come.Oops. I mean let's join our souls and unite our bodies and fly on the wings of love.

Whatever you do, don't touch my clitoris. If you ring Satan's doorbell, God can't ignore this.And no prophylactics when you put it inBecause birth control's for sluts and it's a sin.I've emptied my bowels and laid out the towels and I'm ready for romance.Now I'm praying to the power that's the highestBut of all my holes, this one's the driest.

And we can't procreate if we anally copulate and God's okay with sodomy, but only if you're straight.And I'm staying here no matter what so I'm okay with everything but...everything but...everything butt.

Woah. Fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus.The Good Lord would want it that way.That sweet sensation of a rock-hard rationalization.It's just between you and me.
Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see.

I do whatever the Bible tells me to...Except for the parts that I choose to ignore because they're unrealistic and inconvenient, but the rest I live by for sure.So let's not talk about how the good book banned shellfish, polyester, and divorce and how we condone slavery and killing gays because those parts don't count of course.Let's cherrypick the part about losing my cherry and the many ambiguities to circumvent any real sacrifice and still feel prized in my arbitrary and varied imposition.And don't you dare question my convictions.And don't look closely at the contradictions.Just focus on the sacrificial crucifixion.And have faith in his complete jurisdiction.As the only way to measure if you're good or not.And if you didn't have faith, just say you have faith.Because up against logic it's the only card you've got.So close your eyes.Take a deep breath.

And... fuck me in the ass because I love Jesus.The Good Lord would want it that way.That sweet sensation of a rock-hard rationalization.It's just between you and me.
Because everyone knows it's the sex that God can't see.

Yeah my chastity belt has locks,So sometimes you need to think outside the box"

Like Riding A Bicycle

Just a picture of a hot guy I once found on Torro Spyker's blog The Bullring

It is often said that sex is like riding a bicycle, that once you have learned the skill it is never forgotten.

I don't believe in that wisdom any more. The more I think about it, the more nervous I become. And - to be quite honest - I have started thinking about it a lot lately.

I of course remember the basics of bicycling. There is a handlebar that you steer with, two wheels (usually), a saddle, two pedals and a bell. You have to get your body on to the saddle and start moving the pedals to move ahead while keeping your balance. The momentum has to be enough not to keel over.

It's a bit more difficult with sex, because then you are dealing with a person and not an object. It is all about the interaction and not so much what to do but when it is the right moment for both of you to do it, what ever "it" happens to be, whether it is kissing, hugging, licking etc.

When I was around thirty years old I willed myself into celibacy for a whole year. The reason for this was that I felt I had wasted myself on too many meaningless and boring one night stands. I felt sordid and seedy and had lost all respect for myself and my body.

I made it through the year, even if it was a struggle. Sometimes - especially during the weekends - I would rub myself so raw and chafed that I could hardly walk normally from the pain. When the year had ended it was a great relief although it took me about two weeks to get my act together again.

This time we are talking about over three years of celibacy. I joke about it sometimes, but in many ways it is as if my virginity actually had grown back and I seem to have lost all my former confidence.

My Men Make Me Proud

Well, I must say that 2013 has already gotten off to the most amazing start.

"Bobby kisses Cortez during a play-fight at the Korengal Outpost, Afghanistan" (2008)
Photo by Tim Hetherington

First of all I was reached by the news, in an offline message when I got up in the middle of the night, that Guyke and Dej had made up again. When I logged in-world immediately after reading this Dej confirmed the news. I love both of the guys so much and it makes me so happy and proud that they settled this dispute.

I like my friends to be passionate but reasonable and rational. They both proved that they measure up to that! Quarrels can and will occur among such hotheaded people with strong feelings. I must simply learn to trust in their wisdom and not worry too much about it. Usually they will work things out nicely without my meddling, once they get a chance to think about it when they are calmer.

The other thing that has happened already this year is that Ziggy has decided to make an honest avatar of Guyke, after first robbing him of his precious virginity (which had been surgically restored in a costly procedure at some obscure Mexican sim). During the night Ziggy proposed to Guyke, who of course knowing I would never forgive him if he did anything else, accepted the proposal! Woot! Woot!

2013 is going to be an exceptionally wonderful year, take my word for it and remember you read it here first!