Four Years Ago

"Family Gathering" by Haakon Meads

This picture was taken by Haakon Meads on Saturday October 12, 2008, at 06:35:54 AM SLT and shows (from left to right) Haakon Meads, Martial Eisenhart (in the tree), Guyke Lundquist, Ars Northmead and myself on the back deck of Ars´s and my home at Southern Charm. I must have been to a themed party the night before and was too lazy to change out of the outfit.

The rug must´ve only had four poses so ingenious Martial planted a tree on the deck to get a good seat. Did we have ground sits in our AO´s (Animation Overrides) those days? I cannot remember...

Martial was gracious enough to give it to me when we talked last time. I should have it my Inventory somewhere, but have not been able to find it.

I still remember the evening well and am amazed at how long ago it is even if it still feels so close. So much has changed and so much is still the same. Good memories help us maintain stability in a forever changing world.

We Love Norway!

May 17 is the National Day of Norway.

Norway and Norwegians are undoubtedly the country and people Swedes love most in the world, feel closest to - and love to joke with and about the most also.

As has become my tradition on this blog I give you the most loving joke with Norway and Norwegians ever produced with this classic clip from Swedish television in the early 1960s, "The Helmer Bryds Eminent Five Quartet" with their protest song "Norway".

The Norwegians don´t appreciate us as much we do them, but then love isn't always mutual, is it?

Happy birthday Norway!



"Norway" - the protest song
(translated from Swedish by Bock McMillan)

It is said that one should not gene-ra-li-ze,
and say for example that "Germany is not good"
One really shouldn't generally do that, I don´t think, but this doesn´t apply
to the country where Norwegians live.

Norway, Norway,it is a rotten country.
Norwegians, Norwegians, a fucking band of robbers.
Norwegians, Norwegians, they fish bad cod.
So if you see a slob, and he stinks like rotten fish
He is undoubtedly Norwegian.

Yes, the Norwegians they are terrible,
so ugly and so small.
With ties that are disgusting with Norwegian flowers on.
They fool around and fuss, and yodel and go on.
One wonders when one see´s them, how stupid can you be?

Norway, Norway, it never rises "frem".
Norway, Norway, with the thousand "hjem".
Norway, Norway, you stain on our earth.
We can feel the stench all the way down to the Dogger Bank
from your Norwegian smorgasbord.

We should give a real blow to Norway as a nation,
because they have so ugly mountains and have bad pensions too.
They don´t make cars and the bikes they make are lousy
and their only great poet, he is named Peter Dass. (Note: Dass is slang for toilet in Swedish)

Norway, Norway, is the world's worst country.
Norwegians, Norwegians, they should be taken care of.
Norwegians, Norwegians, the people that the Lord gave
a hopeless mind and a forehead that is so low
so that the hat keeps falling off"


On this day my loving thought go to my ex-lover (and now friend) Erik, my friends Erik, Sophie, Linn and Magnar and my ex-son in law in SecondLife Haakon. Love you all!

The Concept of Family in SecondLife

From a sociological and/or anthropological perspective a family is a group of people who are affiliated by marriage, consanguinity, affinity or co-residence. Families are formed as a source of mutual love and support within the group concerned. Sexual relations among family members are regulated by rules concerning incest such as the incest taboo.

In a virtual world we don´t need to focus on consanguineous relationships as sexual relationships cannot end with an independent issue. All relationships are created by choice through affinity and affections and are either romantic or non-romantic.

The Family Chart. Muted colors mean that the avatar is (mostly) no longer around
Yellow circles signify partnerships/marriages, red circles previous partnerships/marriages and yellow arrows mutually elected non-romatic relationships of a family kind (sister/brother or child/mother or father)

In the beginning there was Ars Northmead, a charming, friendly, clever and multitalented avatar.

Ars was - among many other things - a DJ in SecondLife and founded the Sarco Sound Group with his friend and business partner Sarco Halderman. One of the first DJ´s recruited to the group was Andrey (D R E Y) Messmer. Ars and Andrey developed a close non-romantic-friendship, with much love and trust between them.

Shortly before Ars and I met there may - or may not - have been a brief sexual relationship between Ars and Guyke Lundqvist (I am not altogether sure about this and have never really worried about it). Anyway, by the time I appeared on the scene the relationship between the two had evolved into a relationship between a father and son. When I teamed up with Ars I also became Guyke´s evil-stepfather.

Ars and I became a couple, shortly thereafter Andrey and Guyke became a couple also, this was however before we had established the family. When Andrey´s and Guyke´s relationship ended, Andrey became Ars brother. Both Andrey and Guyke went on to form new romantic relationships that were included into the family.

When Guyke became partnered with Haakon Meads, his elected mother Starry Sweetwater and her husband Sir Trifle became in-laws. Similarly I become the uncle of Skip Turbo´s adopted son Liam when Skip and Andrey were partners.

Ars also formed brotherly ties with Dej Mycron and Jeb Nicholls, while Martial Eisenhart and I and Millimina Salamander and I also elected each other as siblings, well in the last case I more or less forced it on the poor girl. Martial formed a partnership with Elorian Scarbridge for a while through which Elorian and I became brother in-laws. Dej has of course also had partners, but I did not much like the last one so I am not mentioning him (I am invoking my literary license on this).

Postscript
I am happy that I took the time to make the family chart, because looking at it clarify some things that have been a mystery to me earlier.

As I understand it, these kind of chosen family clusters are supposedly more common among the gay population in SecondLife than among the straight population. An explanation to this could of course be that many gays already have experienced the concept of "choosing your family" in their first life due to the shunning and ostracizing that still occurs in all cultures, albeit to a lesser extent nowadays that 15-20 years ago.

I have no sure information on how common it can be among lesbians, either in first life or SecondLife. As we all know lesbians seem to provoke less animosity in the straight culture, possibly because the women are better at staying "under the radar" than gay men. The fact that straight men find women "playing with each other" so fascinating at least while they wait for him - the macho male - to arrive. I am also certain that part of the explanation is due to the unequal status of women in society, "what women do does not matter".

If heterosexuals ever think about homosexuals, there seems to be a strong tendency to focus on the sexual activities rather than on the feelings and attractions. I did not choose to become gay to engage in fellatio or have anal intercourse. I am gay and therefore use the sexual activities and techniques available to me to give and receive pleasure from another man - and hell yes, I damn well love it!.

Musings at Haakon´s Bridge

I am not in the best of moods right now and don´t really know why. This shift in my state of mind came after the last weekend and has not eased off yet.

Following the New Years Day debacle I have found that I, more or less deliberately, have avoided mentioning Ars on my blog so as not to draw unfriendly attention to him again and that I have also raised barriers around my first life. This new found habit of self-censorship is a fundamental betrayal of myself and the reasons for the existence of this blog. It has to stop immediately!

I miss my Ars terribly and the big family I once had in my SecondLife. When I was talking with a friend the other evening and mentioned my SecondLife family he said "I have never really understood the concept of ´family´ in SecondLife." This comment made me start to think what it was all really about and I am not finished thinking about it yet, but when I am I will tell you all.

Yesterday I read a post on the Swedish blog Blanche´s Arena that "the avatar formerly known as Sven Idyll" has now shutdown yet another blog and started a new one instead.

In the new blog he tells us how he and his female "partner in crime" have been successfully researching the SecondLife blogs written by Swedes to find out the bloggers first life identity through compilation of the information they give about themselves in the blogs or elsewhere and by technical data. I am hoping that the collecting and compiling of this information has given them a sense of satisfaction, fulfillment and power so they can find more worthy causes to focus their talents on.

People who feel powerless and frustrated can get dangerous as we have seen many times before and are now witnessing in a trial in Oslo, Norway. I am doing all I can to avoid the radio and television coverage of that trial, it gets too close, and am instead sticking to the reports in the printed media (not the tabloids).

Stupid Git #5

As you may have read here earlier I started building quite late in SecondLife.

Most likely this was a result of being surrounded by many awesome builders and creators in my close SecondLife family, Ars, Guyke, Haakon and Martial were/are all amazing builders. Whatever I needed they could build or create for me and it would look better than if I tried making it myself. 

When I finally felt the urge to start, it was sometime between my second and third years in SecondLife, my efforts were met with great support from the immediate family (especially from Ars). I have heard from others that he was very happy that I had started to build and kept boasting about my builds.

One of my first builds/creations/designs was of course "The Party Hat" which was soon followed by the renowned "The Jesters Hat". The worldwide success of the Jesters Hat among the hardcore fashionistas in-world was the of course the foundation of my own label "BMcM" and the BMcM Corporation.

At about this time I started going to the building and design classes for beginners that were held in SecondSweden by Ironside Carlberg and my dear friend Kay Uggla, after which I started creating the most amazing lines of clothing.

I am sure you all remember my wonderful line of candle-sticks. I think I may have burdened everyones Inventory with these on every possible occasion. (If you have deleted them please do not tell me, because I love to think they are still safe there.)

Moving along, when Ars passed away I lost my inspiration for the longest while. About six weeks ago I started to fiddle with building again. But something was very wrong! I couldn't build/create/design in my usual smooth style and manner. The viewer just wasn't cooperating. Everytime I tried to change a shape of something using the Edit-menu I heard an echoing "Thud" that drove me to the brink of desperation.

I naturally first blamed the viewer and ranted about the poor quality of the Phoenix. I uninstalled it completely - yes in all the folders on my computer - about 15 times, reinstalled it again being careful not to change anything in the build settings to no avail at all. My problems kept reoccurring.

I complained my misery to everyone who had the patience to listen, had my settings gone through about 5 times by the patient Vampi. Nothing helped.

Late yesterday I think I solved the problem when I suddenly realized I was writing in a "dot" in the Edit-menu where the viewer wanted a "comma". The shapes started changing nicely and according to my intentions.

So I now declare to the world that The Much Honored Bock McMillan, laird of Southern Charm, and CEO of the BMcM Corporation is a stupid git!

(...and the last is especially true when I later the same day discovered that I had not really found the problem ... )

What, Me Worry?

Sometimes I think it´s just me, other times I think it´s everyone else.

I didn´t really realize I was a worrier until Ars told me so. When he did I protested vehemently and told him I was no such thing. I told him, "I do what I want to do and say what I want to say and to hell with anyone who tries to stop me."

"Sure", he said, "that´s just it. You don´t worry about yourself, but you worry about everyone and everything else. Look at how you fuss about Guyke and his love life. He is a man, he can take care off himself and when he cannot he will come to us if he needs it.He knows where to find us. And then look how you think and talk about Martial and Andrey after they dropped out of SecondLife. People leave SecondLife for many reasons, babe. They don´t always have to be run over by buses or killed in Brazilian street-fights not to log in and say good bye to you before they leave. They just leave and don´t look back - at-least not for a while."


My response was, "But Ars we loved them, they told us they loved us and we knew them for a long time, is it wrong of me to wonder why they leave with no word of goodbye?" Ars answered, "No babe, that´s why I love you, you care about other people and me and our son, But you really don´t have to carry it that far. Look at Haakon, he left us after saying goodbye and all, still you worry about him. What he´s doing or if he has friends taking care of him. Just drop it, he is a grown man also and can take care of himself, I am sure."

I dunno why I worry for other people sometimes, but Ars was right there, I do do that,.whenever I think people are being mistreated. or wronged or just disrespected.

Hell I cannot save the world but I can look out for the people that are close to me or react and take action at aggression or bullying I see going on in front of me or around me. It´s the only way I know how to deal with such things.

But yes, I should heed Ars advice and not worry about things I cannot do anything about and also let grown people take responsibilty for their own choices and actions. Perhaps that should be my new years resolution, good thing I have a few days to think about it...

Well something good came out of my worrying. Ars told his sisters his I am a worrier and therefore instructed them to tell me everything that was going on, because otherwise I would just worry about it. I am grateful to him and love him for it. if his sisters hadn´t been so forthcoming with information I really would have gone completely berserk those last few weeks and days before Ars passed away.

Nakna avatarer i SL 85

Min älskade lillasyster Millimina Salamander är en djärv och stilmedveten fashionista med säker och avancerad smak. Hon är också en fantastisk vän.

På bilden ser ni Millimina endast iförd min kreation "The Jesters Hat".

"Millimina nude in The Jesters hat (model colourful rhinestone)"

Jag började bygga sent i Second Life, jag var mer än två år gammal. Detta berodde möjligen på det faktum att jag var omgiven av en fantastisk samling duktiga och talangfulla byggare i min SL-familj eller nära vänkrets. Min bortgångne partner Ars byggde allt möjligt men särskilt möbler, belysningsarmaturer och träd), vår son Guyke bygger köksutensilier, belysningsarmaturer och mycket mera, min bror Martial Eisenhart skapade växter och blommor, särskilt hans orkidéer är fantastiska) och vår nära vän Haakon Meads som byggde allt, allt och särskilt allt möjligt).

De uppmuntrade mig alla att börja bygga, men jag kände väl att mina resultat aldrig skulle bli lika vackra som deras att jag inte ens vågade börja. Till slut förlorade jag dock denna rädsla och gav mig i kast med byggande med friskt mod. Min talang för att ibland fullkomligt kunna strunta i vad alla andra tycker kom här till sin rätt, och aldrig mer så än när jag byggde "The Jesters Hat". Många skrattade rått åt mig och den men både Ars och Millimina sade sig vara lika förtjusta i den som jag själv (och det älskade jag dem båda ännu mer för).

Ett tag sålde jag hatten på Xstreet med följande försäljningsslogan: "The Jesters Hat - only for the most daring fashionistas". Till min egen förtjusning sålde jag faktiskt tio (10) stycken till det facila priset av 10 L$.

Hatten finns i ett 50-tal versioner i alla upptänkliga färger och tygsorter, de två senaste tillkomna varianterna är "Mondrian" och "Nationaldagen", som båda har synts på en del bloggar för inte så länge sedan. Utöver Jesters Hat har jag även tillverkat "The Party Hat" i ett 20-tal nationella varianter. Mot slutet av 2009 hade jag gett mig på att skapa underbara ljusstakar, särskilt populär blev min folkloristiska ljusstake i tre varianter. (Nåja populär är kanske för mycket sagt men åtminstone sade de som fick den att de blev förtjusta. Men folk har alltid varit alldeles för vänliga mot mig så jag vet inte säkert.)

Jadå, ni är fortfarande välkomna att skicka era bidrag till mig antingen inworld eller till min mejl lundamats@gmail.com  

Yes, you are still welcome to send your contributions to me either inworld or to my mail lundamats@gmail.com

Att återse en vän

Min käre vän Haakon lämnade egentligen SL i höstas, av orsaker som jag inte tänker gå in på. Inte här och nu i varje fall. Haakon har under mer än halva mitt liv i SL varit en välintegrerad del av min närmaste SL-familj. Hans stillsamma norska charm och underfundiga humor gör det mycket lätt att älska honom. Under sin tid i SL var han - som så många av mina familjemedlemmar i SL - en fantastisk byggare!

Saknaden efter honom har varit stor. Att hålla kontakten via Google-talk går ju bra, men är ändå inte riktigt detsamma. I söndags eftermiddags fick jag i alla fall ett plötsligt och oväntat IM från honom när han kom in på ett tillfälligt återbesök i SL. Jag fick fullständigt glädjefnatt!!! Det var underbart att tillbringa nästan två timmar med honom, hans SL-mor Starry och hennes man SirTrifle med avslappnat samspråk.

Visst är det fantastiskt hur snabbt man kan återetablera kontakten med människor man älskar eller tycker mycket om?

De som kallar SL ett spel vet inte vad de talar om! SL handlar om att bygga relationer, dela erfarenheter och upplevelser med varandra och att komma nära varandra. Glöm aldrig att det finns en människa bakom varje avatar, med äkta tankar, känslor och drömmar!

Porträttbilden av Haakon: Haakon Meads