The Car For Me

So why am I showing you a white Volvo V50 car you wonder? Well, the last few days I have had one of these parked outside my workplace in a very prominent position, impossible to miss.

As we all know Volvo´s are safe, strong, comfortable, sturdy, reliable and not the flashy kind of cars. It´s the car for the wise family father who wants to keep his family safe on long road trips or in bustling city traffic.

This particular car however has the Swedish registration plates "ARS ***". The car is well cared for and shines where it stands, whether it is raining or sunny.

I am not a man with religious convictions, neither do I believe in ghosts or new age mumbo jumbo but I have still come to believe that this is Ars himself showing me that he is with me, or rather I choose to interpret it like that.

He knows me well my man, and knows I need his presence in any way possible. This way works for me, I am getting better just by seeing the there every morning.

Learning (More) English

"The curmudgeon" - Photography by Jill Greenberg

I stumbled over a word I had never encountered before in a comment on Joe.My.God. today.

Curmudgeon, cur·mudg·eon [ker-muhj-uhn]
noun
a bad-tempered, difficult, cantankerous person.

It is going to be my new favorite word for a while, so some of you better get used to it because I will probably use it all the time.

"Millimina dear, what the fuck happened? You are such a curmudgeon today!"

"Put a sock in it, PetGirl, you are being a f***king curmudgeon!"

"Apmel, buddy, go jump in the lake and simmer down. you are such a curmudgeon!"

"Loo, were you born a curmudgeon or did someone drop you on your head early in life?"

"Don´t be a curmudgeon, Ziggy, it doesn't make you look better!"

PayPal Update - Drops 4 Hate Groups

Many SecondLife residents use the excellent services of PayPal to securely transfer money in to or out of SecondLife. 

In a post a few days ago I urged you to join in a petition to ask PayPal to stop serving ten anti-LGBT hate groups; Tell PayPal: Stop supporting hate groups.

PayPal has now stopped it´s service to four of the ten groups, but let´s keep up the pressure until they drop all ten. 

If you haven't done so earlier please go to the post I link to above for all the necessary information and the link to the site with the petition.

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Ten Extremist Sites Served by PayPal

Abiding Truth Ministries (International) Extremist group that makes the outrageous claim that “the Nazi Party was entirely controlled by militaristic homosexuals.”

New Generation Ministries (Latvia/International) Extremist church based in Latvia with branches in 15 different countries. The church's members have been tied to the homophobic murder of Satendar Singh. In one video, at an anti-LGBT rally, church leader Alexy Ledyaev says, “homosexuals are not happy or spiritual people, because they were molested and abused in their childhoods, but that does not give them the right to abuse and rape others!”

Noua Dreaptă (Romania/Balkans) Ultra-nationalist group that has been linked to organizing demonstrations and planning violent attacks on Pride celebrations in Romania and Moldova. 

Truth in Action Ministries (formally Coral Ridge) (United States) Extremist church that spreads anti-LGBT lies such as “bible-believing Christians would quickly find themselves unwelcome in Barney Frank’s new pansexual, cross-dressing military.” 

Dove World Outreach Ministries (United States) Infamous "Burn the Quran" hate church whose pastor preaches that “homosexuality makes God throw up.” 

Julio Severo's Last Days Watchman Site (US/Brazil) Brazilian anti-LGBT leader and writer/ideologue who fled Brazil after LGBT activists brought a lawsuit against him for incitement of hatred. Julio regularly repeats the lie that 10% of gay people are pedophiles, and goes further to say that most gay men “drink urine, swallow feces and experience rectal traumas on a regular basis”, while they are “drunk, stoned or in orgies.” 

Faithful Word Baptist Church (United States) This church's Pastor Steven L. Anderson has described gays as “sodomites” who “recruit through rape” and “recruit through molestation.”

Family Research Institute (United States) Known for saying that gay people are predatory and diseased perverts who victimize children.

Americans for Truth About Homosexuality (United States) This group claims homosexuality is a “lethal behavior addiction,” a “dangerous” practice that is “neither normal nor benign.”

American Society for the Defense of Tradition Family and Property (International) International Catholic extremist group originating in Brazil and with active branches in Argentina and the United States. They are known for organizing homophobic rallies all over the United States and buying advertising asking people to “join the Crusade” of “conscientious resistance” to “the homosexual ‘moral revolution.’”

Ask and Tell

Photography by David Goldenberg

The United States has ended the military´s shameful and discriminatory “Don´t Ask, Don´t Tell” (DADT) policy.

DADT was the official United States policy on homosexuals serving in the military from December 21, 1993 to September 20, 2011. 

From Wikipedia: The policy prohibited military personnel from discriminating against or harassing closeted homosexual or bisexual service members or applicants, while barring openly gay, lesbian, or bisexual persons from military service. The restrictions were mandated by United States federal law. 

The policy prohibited people who "demonstrate a propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts" from serving in the armed forces of the United States, because their presence "would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability."

The act prohibited any homosexual or bisexual person from disclosing his or her sexual orientation or from speaking about any homosexual relationships, including marriages or other familial attributes, while serving in the United States armed forces.

The act specified that service members who disclose that they are homosexual or engage in homosexual conduct should be separated (discharged) except when a service member's conduct was "for the purpose of avoiding or terminating military service" or when it "would not be in the best interest of the armed forces".

The "don't ask" part of the DADT policy specified that superiors should not initiate investigation of a service member's orientation without witnessing disallowed behaviors, though credible evidence of homosexual behavior could be used initiate an investigation.
Yesterday the law repealing that shameful policy - signed by president Obama in July - went into effect, and the United States of America joined the other democratic nations of the world that allow Gay and Lesbians to serve openly and honestly in their armed forces.

This is a great victory for the LGBT movement as the Unite States government embraces equality over the policies of hatred and division, thereby putting an end to institutionalized homophobia in the United States military.

It also means that gay and lesbian servicemen now can talk about their lives and loves with other servicemen without lying or withholding information.

Watch this touching video of a young soldier telling his father he is gay.

Rereading emails

I have just been rereading my email correspondence with my Ars.

I saved them all. 34 emails in total during the period from February 26th, 2008, to September 19th, 2009.

Not that many considering the almost two and a half years we were together, but then again we were mostly in-world.

25 of the emails were reminders that one of us would be away a certain day (mostly Ars to me because he knew what a scatterbrain I am), one of us having login-failures and that we would keep trying or just  a fast "love you" in passing when one of us wasn't in-world for some reason or other.

Three were rather funny to read because it was Ars being the good father and trying to calm me down after "his son" (as I called Guyke in that conversation) and I had had a huge fight where "the self-centered little brat" (my words) had removed me from his friends list in the middle of it and I refused to accept him back on - in spite of repeated requests from him - for a week or so. I told Ars I wanted "the little shit" to suffer so he learned never, ever, to do it again, but that I certainly would eventually accept his friendship offer when I was good and ready.

Two were from Ars explaining the deal he had struck with our former landlady for the transfer of ownership of Southern Charm to us.

The last four were from a quarrel we had once early in our relationship about some really stupid and  unimportant thing, where I mostly complained extensively about how infuriated I was that Ars just logged off in the middle of the argument. (Men huh?) He told me that I had really pissed him off because I stopped listening. (Well, true enough I do that.) The amazing thing is we still ended each e-mail with "Love you, babe!"

I am not sure I can recommend doing what I did, at least when you are not in a happy mood from the start.

The Beauty and His Beast

sirhc and Vampi forever!

Today I would like to take the opportunity to congratulate the beautiful sirhc DeSantis and his wonderful spouse Vampi Twine DeSantis on the second anniversary of their handfasting.

Hey guys, there actually were a few of us that believed that you could do it and I am happy you proved us right. May you both have many, many years together both here in SecondLife and in first life.

Life Without A Sun

Please read this for what it is, my meandering contemplation's in handling an emotional crisis. Do not add any guilt on me, I have enough already. 

I cannot stress enough that this post is not intended to hurt anyone at all. No incrimination's or accusations are intended. No one is lacking or needs to improve or change anything about themselves or what they do or do anything differently or make changes in their priorities or make different choices.

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The questions I am asking myself are: 

What do you do when the center of your universe is gone, when the planetary system that made you "you" disintegrates? 

How do you handle the fact that the force that filled you with energy and that kept the different parts of your solar system in place is gone? 

Do you, can you and should you even try to rebuild that which was unique? Or do you try to move on to something completely different? How do you go on or do you just settle for a lackluster existence?

Where and how do you find your new sun, your new center, or let yourself be found again?

With Ars I was filled with energy, light and happiness, I could sparkle with the light he filled me with. Without him I only glimmer when I am angry. What I have realized so far is that I am more of a relationship junkie than I ever thought before, I feed of the energy from others, it seems I have none of my own.

I am not sure I want your answers or your advice, but do not hesitate if you want to share how you handled a similar situation