Women´s Fashion

The inner turmoil I imposed on myself the past week, that was released after my visit to my doctor yesterday, have left me feeling exhausted. After a full and busy day at work I am only fit to for my own company so I have spent the evening surfing on the Internet.

Photo Tim Whitby/Getty Images

I came across this beautiful picture of some avant-garde women´s fashion. I was first struck by it´s beauty, but my next thought was about how so much in women´s fashion throughout history and diverse cultures really strike me more as instruments of torture, isolation and control.

Things like high heeled shoes, the wasp waist of the early 19th century, the metal neck rings that some Asian and African cultures use to elongate the women´s necks, the obsolete (hopefully) Chinese custom of binding a girls feet to stop them from growing, the burqa, the enormous crinloines, the narrow skirts etc.

The list is almost endless.

Good News

In hindsight I don´t really understand why I thought that my kind Hungarian-Swedish doctor would cut me off from the medication I feel I still need, perhaps it was because many have told me that two years is a long time and that they were cut off much earlier.

My doctor is actually one of only three doctors I have met in my life as a patient who doesn't only pretend to listen but proves again and again that he hears what I am saying - and sometimes even what I am not saying. I notice that by the questions he asks me.

Well, at our meeting today I immediately blurted out my worries. He just looked kindly at me with a small smile and said, "My dear (Bock), I have no plans whatsoever to cut you off from medication that you feel is good for you." With that out of the way, we had a good long conversation and he gave the results of all the blood work and tests which apparently indicate that I am in the best of physical health.

Thank for the support guys and girls, big hugs!

P.S. Please also read my friend Butch Diavolo´s post "Life without pills?" on his blog "Butch Ramblings". As I tell him in a comment there, it gives me hope for a future without medication.

Worries

So I just removed a post that I regretted because it was made in a foul temper.

I am in a bad mood because I am seeing my doctor tomorrow. I am afraid he will tell me it is time to get off the antidepressant medication (Cipralex) which I have been on the last two years since I was diagnosed with a major depressive disorder following Ars death.

I do not want to go back to where I was in May of 2010 and I am fearing that the sense of complete powerlessness will engulf me again. 

Vague Magazine

Oh my, look who´s on the cover of the latest issue of Vague Magazine!

It´s a fake of course, get your own magazine cover at MagMyPic.

Breathe In, Breathe Out

This is for my strong and loving younger sister Millimina, who can never-ever be forced to anything against her will! Love you always, even when you are trying hard to be a bitch... I am not convinced, not for a second, my darling!

A Cordial Divorce

When I came in-world late last evening I hit on my ex-wife for a day Iendi Laville. We had not spoken for a few days so I wanted to check in.

Iendi and I at the lighthouse

As the party-animal that she is she was of course dancing somewhere at the time, but was still willing to come over for a good talk about anything that came to our minds. And I was especially happy to find someone who was willing to try out the animations on my newly acquired lighthouse with me.

We look good together, huh? What a pity she isn't a man... *deep sigh* Well, it was good the marriage was short and sweet, while the divorce was cordial and swift.

Ohhh! Writing about animations reminded me, when are we going to try out our wedding gift from Chaz Longfall and Kip Ashbourne, Iendi?

The Concept of Family in SecondLife

From a sociological and/or anthropological perspective a family is a group of people who are affiliated by marriage, consanguinity, affinity or co-residence. Families are formed as a source of mutual love and support within the group concerned. Sexual relations among family members are regulated by rules concerning incest such as the incest taboo.

In a virtual world we don´t need to focus on consanguineous relationships as sexual relationships cannot end with an independent issue. All relationships are created by choice through affinity and affections and are either romantic or non-romantic.

The Family Chart. Muted colors mean that the avatar is (mostly) no longer around
Yellow circles signify partnerships/marriages, red circles previous partnerships/marriages and yellow arrows mutually elected non-romatic relationships of a family kind (sister/brother or child/mother or father)

In the beginning there was Ars Northmead, a charming, friendly, clever and multitalented avatar.

Ars was - among many other things - a DJ in SecondLife and founded the Sarco Sound Group with his friend and business partner Sarco Halderman. One of the first DJ´s recruited to the group was Andrey (D R E Y) Messmer. Ars and Andrey developed a close non-romantic-friendship, with much love and trust between them.

Shortly before Ars and I met there may - or may not - have been a brief sexual relationship between Ars and Guyke Lundqvist (I am not altogether sure about this and have never really worried about it). Anyway, by the time I appeared on the scene the relationship between the two had evolved into a relationship between a father and son. When I teamed up with Ars I also became Guyke´s evil-stepfather.

Ars and I became a couple, shortly thereafter Andrey and Guyke became a couple also, this was however before we had established the family. When Andrey´s and Guyke´s relationship ended, Andrey became Ars brother. Both Andrey and Guyke went on to form new romantic relationships that were included into the family.

When Guyke became partnered with Haakon Meads, his elected mother Starry Sweetwater and her husband Sir Trifle became in-laws. Similarly I become the uncle of Skip Turbo´s adopted son Liam when Skip and Andrey were partners.

Ars also formed brotherly ties with Dej Mycron and Jeb Nicholls, while Martial Eisenhart and I and Millimina Salamander and I also elected each other as siblings, well in the last case I more or less forced it on the poor girl. Martial formed a partnership with Elorian Scarbridge for a while through which Elorian and I became brother in-laws. Dej has of course also had partners, but I did not much like the last one so I am not mentioning him (I am invoking my literary license on this).

Postscript
I am happy that I took the time to make the family chart, because looking at it clarify some things that have been a mystery to me earlier.

As I understand it, these kind of chosen family clusters are supposedly more common among the gay population in SecondLife than among the straight population. An explanation to this could of course be that many gays already have experienced the concept of "choosing your family" in their first life due to the shunning and ostracizing that still occurs in all cultures, albeit to a lesser extent nowadays that 15-20 years ago.

I have no sure information on how common it can be among lesbians, either in first life or SecondLife. As we all know lesbians seem to provoke less animosity in the straight culture, possibly because the women are better at staying "under the radar" than gay men. The fact that straight men find women "playing with each other" so fascinating at least while they wait for him - the macho male - to arrive. I am also certain that part of the explanation is due to the unequal status of women in society, "what women do does not matter".

If heterosexuals ever think about homosexuals, there seems to be a strong tendency to focus on the sexual activities rather than on the feelings and attractions. I did not choose to become gay to engage in fellatio or have anal intercourse. I am gay and therefore use the sexual activities and techniques available to me to give and receive pleasure from another man - and hell yes, I damn well love it!.