Ars In Memoriam 2014

Photography by Kent Hutchinson of KH Photo

Joseph Douglas Wilson Jr. a.k.a

Ars Northmead

★ April 21, 1953 (first life)
★ October 25, 2006 (SecondLife)
† March 12, 2010

On this day four years ago my beloved husband Ars passed away after a short illness.

Ars' brothers Dejerrity Mycron and Jeb Nicholls arranged a Memorial Service at Calas Galadhon where Truck Meredith and Tymus Tenk kindly let us use the homestead sim Mirromere for a week before, and their main sim for the big Memorial Service on March 20, 2010. Bora Rossini had created a beautiful setting for the memorial.

All of Ars' family and friends in SecondLife gathered there as well as Doug's parents, one of his sisters, his brothers and and even some of his nephews, nieces and cousins, who joined us in front of a computer screen using an avatar they had created.

I have asked for pictures from that memorial service earlier and this year I was happy to receive two from our friend elis Eun.

Photography by elis Eun

Photography by elis Eun

Although I never at the time thought that I would find love and true joy again, as it turns out life can work miracles and today I am happily married to my darling Tomais. I know that Ars would have wished this for me.

Greetings from MarsDeb

From: MarsDeb
Sent: December 17, 2012 22:53
To: Bock
Subject: RE: Happy Holidays

Bock – 

So good to hear from you and especially on this date. My son (name) got married on Saturday, 12/15, to his lovely bride (name). The ceremony was beautiful and all our family was able to make it. The newlyweds are in Acapulco for the week enjoying sunshine and relaxation.

I’m happy to hear you are doing well and having good memories of Doug. We talk about him often and always think about him when the family is together. Like you we miss him terribly but it is always happy fun memories when we remember.

Lots going on with our family as well this year. Marie has relocated from Florida to Texas and she and I have purchased a home together in (town). The house is on the water in a community called (X Island)…so we are living in paradise or hope to be once we have the remodeling done. It is a little longer drive to work for me, but I’m planning on retiring in a few years so it is manageable especially considering the relaxing environment once I get home. I've attached a couple of photos of our view and Marie’s boat. We are really enjoying it.

Mom and Dad are still hanging in there. No major health changes, just continuing to progress in age – Dad 86 and Mom 84. Mom’s (health issue) continues to progress but Dad is still managing to keep her at home with help during the week. Marie and I are going to Arkansas to spend the holiday with them.

The others are all doing well with one nephew graduating this past summer and going into the employment world. A big change for him, but he likes what he is doing.

I hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday and healthy and safe New Year. Be sure to tell the SL family hello and send them my best wishes.

Debbie

Greetings from Doug´s Family

Marsdeb after a makeover

I sent an email to Doug´s sister Debbie yesterday, and received her answer today. (Debbie is my link to Doug's first life family.)

As some of you may remember, Marsdeb Yoots was the avatar created by Doug's first life family to represent them at the second memorial service in SecondLife for Doug/Ars.

That memorial service was held at Calas Galdhon a week after his passing with more than 70 avatars joining us from the whole world (from New Zealand and Australia in the east to California, United States, and British Columbia, Canada, in the far west and everywhere in between.)

Through Marsdeb´s participation eight of Doug's first life family (including his parents) could join us at the beautiful memorial service.

"Tell the second life family hello. One of these days Marie and I might just surprise you and plan a trip to Sweden to meet you and others from second life who would care to join us.

Be happy as you know that is what Doug/Ars would want.

Love to all,
Debbie"

This would perhaps be an appropriate time to ask you all who may have been at the memorial service to please send me any pictures you may have from that occasion, I was too busy with myself to even think about taking pictures. You can either drop them on my SecondLife profile or send them to me in an e-mail to lundamats@gmail.com

Transatlantic Greetings

I sent an e-mail greeting to Ars´s family for Liberty Day and yesterday I got a response from his sister Marsdeb Yoots (the family´s avatar name).

In the message she asks me to "Tell everyone in 2^nd Life hello for me."

So there goes, I fulfilled my obligations, and of course I told her you all said hi back!

Email for Easter

Från: XX [mailto:x.x@y.se]
Skickat: den 21 April 2011 19:04
Till: Debbie Z
Ämne: Happy Easter

Dear Debbie, Marie and Mr. X and all the others of what I feel is my American family,

Today I have been thinking of you all and of Doug for reasons you are well aware of.

I was very grateful for your last mail giving me an update on how the others in the X-family are doing.

On this side of the big pond things are going well now. Both my elderly parents (81 and 82 years old) are doing well and we are still celebrating the fact that – according to the last report – there is still no sign of the bladder cancer that has been bothering my father the last five years. It actually looks like they managed to remove it altogether in the latest of the four operations. My parents spirits are up, and when they go up so do mine. Our family keeps on growing every year as two of my three nieces and my nephew seem to be taking turns in reproducing. We are happy for all the new girls, for yes it´s always girls! My third niece is only twenty still so she hasn´t started yet but she has a longtime boyfriend now, so who knows…

Well, perhaps my family is here to correct the global gender imbalance caused by the Chinese and the Indians.

Spring has finally come to southern Sweden now. We see much more of the sun again and the temperatures are slowly rising and are now in the low 60´s (F). The forsythia bushes are glowing in yellow and the trees have started to grow leaves, it´s a wonderful time of year. I am still tinkering along but am still on my antidepressants. Most of the time it gets better, but I still get bad periods but the periods are shorter and further between. My doctor tells me he is happy with my progress so...  A few of my closest friends – people that I love and trust - have started telling me that I need to move along or at least start thinking about it. My answer to these kindhearted and loving friends has been that I am sure I will do that in time, but that I am not ready to do so yet. I am on my own timetable and follow my emotions in this. I am not going to be rushed into or out of something to satisfy anyone except myself.

In SecondLife I am still the proud owner of the Southern Charm sim that Ars and I had together, everything is still the same except that my last renter left around new year. I have the money for it so I am keeping it as long as SecondLife exists. The money would only go into a pension fund otherwise and I do not believe I will ever get as old as my parents so what the heck. You and the rest of the Wilsons will always have a virtual home there if you ever decide to revisit us.

I would like to wish you all a very happy Easter and hope you have a nice time during the holidays!

Hugs to you all,

Bock

Touched by Ars

I had been dreading this day for weeks, the first anniversary of the day that my Ars/my Doug passed away.

Everytime I thought about this day my stomach bundled up into a hard knot and I got more confused and worried than I usually can be at my very worst.

It got so bad I had to delegate the planning of the details of this gathering of Ars family and closest friends to my son Guyke and my sister Millimina. The two of them of course did an excellent job, we think alike the three of us and our tastes are similar. They checked in from time to time about some detail, I always confirmed their ideas.

I shouldn't have been so afraid, Ars was watching over me and all the others of his family and close friends. We who had loved him and who had been fortunate enough to be blessed by his love.

The day started out splendidly when I received an answer to my invitation to Doug's sisters in real life to join us for the gathering. Sadly they couldn't join us but the mail was not at all a rejection, it was full of love, caring and shared emotions.

In anticipation of the gathering in the evening I wanted to be well rested, so I slept in long and took many catnaps during the day. Each time I dreamed of Ars. Well, I had one nightmare about a cat jumping up at my face to scratch my eyes out also but mostly I dreamed of my Ars. I heard his laughter and I heard his voice in my dreams.

When the time for the gathering finally came they all rallied in to support me and to be supported by me and each other on this day. 

Dejerrity, who came early to have a few moments with Ars by himself, Millimina, Jeb, Andrey, Sarco, Yannis, Guyke and Janttu. Orchid, Yannis wife, dropped in for a brief visit also.

We had a truly magical and wonderful evening as we shared many happy memories about my darling Ars and some sad ones to. A few misunderstandings were cleared up. We laughed a lot and I often had tears in my eyes. but the tears were both of joy and sadness. All of us who were there were loved by Ars in some way and we all loved him right back. He touched our lives and still does.

Photo courtesy of Millimina Salamander

I never once wept - not until afterwards - and then it was more out of relief and when all the apprehension and tension left my body. 

I am so grateful to all those who were there with me at this time in my life. What could have been a terrible and lonely day, become a day of love, loving support, caring and sweet memories. My deepest gratitude goes to you all for being an important part of my life, I love you all dearly!

Ars forever, forever Ars!