Welcome back. people! I know you must have felt terribly isolated from me when my Internet crashed, but rest assured you are safe now and back in touch with me again.
The Southern Enchantment antiterrorist force is on the job and is rounding up the usual suspects of Mexicans, Arabs, and Muslims as we speak.
Prince Wild Zepp McMillan, the torturer extraordinaire, has been called home from his vacation at a gay resort in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, to oversee the interrogations, which are expected to be strenuous. In a brief interview, Prince Wild stated,
"We shall get to the bottom of this conspiracy to deprive the World's access to his lairdship a.s.a.p."